“I’m just looking for the bare minimum.”

It sounds reasonable. Grounded. Self-respecting.

But what does that phrase actually mean?

In this episode, I unpack why “bare minimum” has become modern dating shorthand—and why it might not be as neutral as it sounds. We’ll explore how the phrase can soothe shame, signal standards, or quietly turn hurt into moral certainty.

Is it clarity? Protection? Or something that replaces discernment altogether?

This isn’t about lowering your standards.

It’s about understanding what you’re really naming—and what kind of relational space that language creates.

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