A white girl on my feed called ube "oob." Confidently. With the energy of someone who had just discovered something.

I felt offense. Fascination. And then — uncomfortably — pity.

In this episode, I read my essay "You Met Me At A Very Chinese Time": On Fantasy, Inheritance, and the Girl Who Called It "Oob" — a meditation on the "very Chinese time of my life" trend, what it has in common with 17th century European chinoiserie, and what it means to watch your inheritance become someone else's aesthetic.

This isn't really about cultural appropriation. It's about something quieter and older — the way fantasies require the people behind them to stay unavailable. And what that costs the people who were never just an aesthetic to begin with.

It's also where I coin a new term: fracture recognition. Because solidarity has become its own kind of surface. And what actually holds us might be something more honest than that.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

A white girl on my feed called ube "oob." Confidently. With the energy of someone who had just discovered something.

I felt offense. Fascination. And then — uncomfortably — pity.

In this episode, I read my essay "You Met Me At A Very Chinese Time": On Fantasy, Inheritance, and the Girl Who Called It "Oob" — a meditation on the "very Chinese time of my life" trend, what it has in common with 17th century European chinoiserie, and what it means to watch your inheritance become someone else's aesthetic.

This isn't really about cultural appropriation. It's about something quieter and older — the way fantasies require the people behind them to stay unavailable. And what that costs the people who were never just an aesthetic to begin with.

It's also where I coin a new term: fracture recognition. Because solidarity has become its own kind of surface. And what actually holds us might be something more honest than that.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

At a Galentine's Day gathering, my friends put on Heated Rivalry. Within minutes, the room shifted. They were flushed, electric, completely locked in.

I was interested. But not in the same way.

In this episode, Kimmy explores what the massive female response to Heated Rivalry reveals—not just about the show, but about how women experience desire. Why did millions of straight women lose it over two fictional hockey players? And what does it mean when you don't?

This isn't about whether the show turns you on.

It's about whether you've ever been asked—or asked yourself—what conditions your desire actually needs in order to show up.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

At a Galentine's Day gathering, my friends put on Heated Rivalry. Within minutes, the room shifted. They were flushed, electric, completely locked in.

I was interested. But not in the same way.

In this episode, Kimmy explores what the massive female response to Heated Rivalry reveals—not just about the show, but about how women experience desire. Why did millions of straight women lose it over two fictional hockey players? And what does it mean when you don't?

This isn't about whether the show turns you on.

It's about whether you've ever been asked—or asked yourself—what conditions your desire actually needs in order to show up.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

“I’m just looking for the bare minimum.”

It sounds reasonable. Grounded. Self-respecting.

But what does that phrase actually mean?

In this episode, I unpack why “bare minimum” has become modern dating shorthand—and why it might not be as neutral as it sounds. We’ll explore how the phrase can soothe shame, signal standards, or quietly turn hurt into moral certainty.

Is it clarity? Protection? Or something that replaces discernment altogether?

This isn’t about lowering your standards.

It’s about understanding what you’re really naming—and what kind of relational space that language creates.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

“I’m just looking for the bare minimum.”

It sounds reasonable. Grounded. Self-respecting.

But what does that phrase actually mean?

In this episode, I unpack why “bare minimum” has become modern dating shorthand—and why it might not be as neutral as it sounds. We’ll explore how the phrase can soothe shame, signal standards, or quietly turn hurt into moral certainty.

Is it clarity? Protection? Or something that replaces discernment altogether?

This isn’t about lowering your standards.

It’s about understanding what you’re really naming—and what kind of relational space that language creates.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Kimmy Wu reads Between Ambivalence & Certainty, a reflective essay from Between Living & Dreaming.

Inspired by a breakup scene in Materialists, this piece explores the quiet devastation of relational moments where no one is wrong—and something still ends. It’s an inquiry into ambivalence, capacity, and the grief that emerges when honesty becomes a verdict rather than an opening.

This episode reflects on:

- what it means to name a boundary without assigning blame

- the difference between endurance and staying in dialogue

- why compatibility is often treated as a conclusion instead of a process

- the subtle losses that can accompany even “reasonable” choices

This is not a film review. It’s a meditation on unfinished love, relational imagination, and the cultural impatience we have with uncertainty.

If this piece resonates, you can find more writing and audio essays on Substack at Between Living & Dreaming, and follow the podcast wherever you listen.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Kimmy Wu reads Between Ambivalence & Certainty, a reflective essay from Between Living & Dreaming.

Inspired by a breakup scene in Materialists, this piece explores the quiet devastation of relational moments where no one is wrong—and something still ends. It’s an inquiry into ambivalence, capacity, and the grief that emerges when honesty becomes a verdict rather than an opening.

This episode reflects on:

- what it means to name a boundary without assigning blame

- the difference between endurance and staying in dialogue

- why compatibility is often treated as a conclusion instead of a process

- the subtle losses that can accompany even “reasonable” choices

This is not a film review. It’s a meditation on unfinished love, relational imagination, and the cultural impatience we have with uncertainty.

If this piece resonates, you can find more writing and audio essays on Substack at Between Living & Dreaming, and follow the podcast wherever you listen.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode/essay, Kimmy reflects on a moment at a friend’s wedding that surfaced a familiar but rarely named ache: the realization that some gatherings can never be recreated, even with the same people, in another beautiful place.

Through the lens of adulthood, friendship, and community, she explores how closeness shifts as lives expand across cities, marriages, children, and changing seasons. What once arrived effortlessly now asks for intention. What once felt abundant now requires care.

This piece is a meditation on the bittersweetness of shared experiences, the grief of evolving friendships, and the quiet, ongoing work of staying connected. It’s an offering for anyone learning how to love their people across distance, time, and change—and a reminder that closeness doesn’t disappear. It evolves.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode/essay, Kimmy reflects on a moment at a friend’s wedding that surfaced a familiar but rarely named ache: the realization that some gatherings can never be recreated, even with the same people, in another beautiful place.

Through the lens of adulthood, friendship, and community, she explores how closeness shifts as lives expand across cities, marriages, children, and changing seasons. What once arrived effortlessly now asks for intention. What once felt abundant now requires care.

This piece is a meditation on the bittersweetness of shared experiences, the grief of evolving friendships, and the quiet, ongoing work of staying connected. It’s an offering for anyone learning how to love their people across distance, time, and change—and a reminder that closeness doesn’t disappear. It evolves.

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe