What You Didn't Expect in Fertility, Pregnancy & Birth: Real Stories & Expert Insights

Here, in EPISODE 100 of the podcast, it seems fitting that CHELSEA CONABOY shares so many insights about how parenting changes parent's brains.

*She talks about how Maternal Instinct is a story, not based on science

* She describes research on these brain changes and what they might mean for our health

* She talks about how our repeated efforts to check on our newborns, even before we really know how to care for them, is a reflection of some of these changes independent of mood disorders.

Listening to her and reading her book paints a really stark picture that contrasts the stories we tell about postpartum and what the science actually shows.

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

This is episode 99 of the podcast, and next week is the 100th episode. it seems a totally fitting tribute, for a podcast dedicated to changing the conversation about this transformation, to have a guest whose profound book is all about debunking our most socially potent beliefs about what defines a mother and where they came from (spoiler alert: they don't come from rigorous scientific examination, at best I'd call them science adjacent).

My guest shares the experiences she had in pregnancy and postpartum that inspired her to write this book which so powerfully dispels so many myths around mothers and motherhood. While she was talking, all I could think was: why weren't you whispering this in my ear when I was pregnant? This could have changed how I thought about lots of aspects of my postpartum, although I'm grateful to overturn some of my most oppressive beliefs; hopefully she can change how you think of this period.

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

In today's episode I finish my conversation with Kaitlin McGreyes, the CEO of BeHerVilliage. She shares her challenges in postpartum, which dramatically changed the course of her life--she left teaching to become a doula, and the combination of a birth that jumped the tracks, as they often do, and the difficulties of PP inspired her to try to change the way the rest of us experience PP--a transformation that is amazing because of the company she created, and because her description of it gives us all a roadmap for what services we should be seeking out in pp so that you are not trying to heal while tending to a newborn by yourself.

For extended show notes, see War Stories from the Womb

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

We--ALL of US (in the US)--are doing Postpartum wrong. Once we experience it with our first born, we learn this, and all make plans to do something different the second time, if there is a second time. Today's guest wants to change Postpartum for all of us.

In today's episode, my guest shares the birth and postpartum experience that propelled her out of her work as a special ed teacher in New York City and into the field of birth workers. Unfortunately, the overwhelming two that she experienced and talks about is likely to sound very familiar. I had my kids 10 years before she did and she could have been describing my postpartum in lots of ways. But what's new is what she did with that experience, and what she's doing for birthing people now.

For show notes, check out the War Stories from the Womb website

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

For the last two weeks we talked about shifting identities in motherhood that can bring up conflicting feelings. It's important to acknowledge how universal an experience this is. 
The next question is: what do we DO with all of these feelings?

What follows is a few more insights  from the fantastic therapist,  (Jessica Sourci) , who spoke about these topics in the last two episodes, and who helps people navigate the challenging emotional transition to motherhood.

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

You love your kids, and it might be the case that you also, LOVED your life before kids. The sometimes conflicting emotions that women encounter as they find a new identity in motherhood and figure out how to integrate it with aspects of their life before kids is today's topic.

In today's episode we hear the second half of my conversation with Anne. She shares the strategies she uses to manage her limited time for creative work when babies or young children have such high demands.  We also have the insights of a fantastic therapist  (Jessica Sourci) who talks us through ways to think about managing the disappointment around some of these hard tradeoffs, as well as how to tend to yourself while also tending to young children.

For extended show notes check out the War Stories from the Womb website

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

When your interests are shifted to the back seat to make room for the baby's, you WILL have feelings about it, but most of us never talk about it because it doesn't fit our idea of motherhood.

Today we discuss some of these challenges, and ways of making sense of them.  I talk to a writer who is also a mother of three about the ideas she brought with her into this giant transition and how she works to balance her family life and work life; the difficulty of this balancing act and the feelings it brought up for her.  I also talk with a fantastic therapist (Jessica Sourci) who specializes in helping mothers feel comfortable in motherhood by giving us valuable ways to think about and reframe what may be uncomfortable and conflicting feelings--like love and connection with the baby, but also moments of anger or regret-- as we all navigate the job of parenting. what follows is the first part of my conversation with both women.

For extended show notes, see the War Stories from the Womb website

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Conceiving, being pregnant, giving birth and then learning to be someone's parent by immediately being responsible for the survival of a new being are all challenging experiences that contain within them, an endless set of possibilities to grow.

Today I finish my conversation with Molly. In this episode, she compares her expectations at the birth with her experience and learns that the expectations she had about the first encounter with her baby after birth is built on a false narrative. She also shares her process for increasing milk production when breastfeeding and the important lessons she learned from the 10 year runway that preceded the birth of her son.

For extended show notes, see: the War Stories from the womb website

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

When she was 18, a doctor told her that getting pregnant would be challenging, without offering any suggestions about how to improve her odds. She worked for ten years to prove this doctor wrong--and when she was on the brink of giving up, it happened--she got pregnant.

 In today's episode my guest offers advice about what she would've done differently when pursuing the health issue that likely contributed to her trouble with fertility, she shares the dramatic story of finding out she was ,in fact pregnant after 10 years of trying, and suggests ways of thinking about medical advice that may alter how you take hard information in. What follows is the first part of our conversation.

Find extended show notes at the War stories from the Womb website

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Scientists often study extreme cases to learn about the mechanics of a phenomenon. Many women found themselves running this kind of experiment in their own homes. How would the postpartum period--a time marked by isolation--feel when the whole world was isolating?

In today's episode, author of the Upstairs House Julia Fine, reflects on her experience having her second child in the heart of the pandemic, and how the difference between a pre pandemic postpartum and a pandemic postpartum taught her something important about the period.  She shares some advice she wishes she'd received before she had kids and talks about how having language around some of the dramatic challenges we face as caregivers in those early months can change our experience of them. I also include insights from Dr. Patel, a former OB who now focuses on helping women in the postpartum period, on how to combat cultural expectations around motherhood in this period.

For extended show notes, see the War Stories from the Womb website

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.