What You Didn't Expect in Fertility, Pregnancy & Birth: Real Stories & Expert Insights

Lots of different inputs go into the project of starting a family; for many of us this includes a host of doctors: fertility doctors and OBs and anesthesiologists...and for today’s guest that list is even longer, extended to include pain doctors and ER doctors and neurologists because she had a stroke after her delivery.  Some of the doctors who participated in her project did so because the symptoms she suffered after the delivery were attributed to a spinal headache instead of a stroke. Her’s is a story of amazing amounts of resilience and an inspiring amount of overcoming and it’s also one that highlights some of the glaring holes in the medical system.

for more detailed show notes, see : https://warstoriesfromthewomb.com/

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Today I'm lucky to be talking to a midwife about her experience with her own twin pregnancy. The process of getting pregnant and giving birth did not look at all as she had planned, despite the fact that she had a lot of real information on which to base her prediction. Although she didn’t have the specific birth she originally envisioned, she successfully carried twins to term, and gained personal experience with more styles of delivery in one pregnancy than most mothers of twins--she delivered one twin vaginally and the other through cesarean section--which she described as a vaginominal, thus the title.  Now she can bring her hard won knowledge to her midwifery work.

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

We all come to pregnancy and birth with ideas about what these transformative events will be like. Some ideas come from our own family experience and some from broader cultural influences. But discussions around the more challenging details of these experiences rarely get articulated, leaving a space for our own imagination to conjure pretty much whatever it wants.  And this expectation will be matched to the actual experience in real time, coloring how we step into parenthood. Like most of us, today’s guest had some surprises at birth, which were trickier to manage in part because they contradicted her closely held expectations around what birth would be...but with time and more experience, and the opportunity to have the birth she’d once dreamed about, she ultimately learned to appreciate each birth in it’s own right. 

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Today’s guest walked into pregnancy with reservations. She’d done a fair amount of research, as is her way, and understood that pregnancy, birth and postpartum were potentially a more difficult undertaking than movie depictions suggested.  Despite her avid preparation, she was, like most of us, taken by surprise.  She had to manage a hemorrhage during a miscarriage, and a birth experience that both tested her physical limits and her emotional resources, as her newborn required some experimental medical help. A few years out from these experiences, she can look back and appreciate all that she went through and what she learned from the experience, and revel in the joy of her energetic toddler.

I also include the insights of a fantastic OB and a pediatric critical care doctor.

For more detailed show notes: see https://warstoriesfromthewomb.com/

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Today’s guest had to reexamine her expectations at various points in the process of growing her family. She enjoyed a relatively straightforward pregnancy, but had real fears of what the birth would be like.   Importantly, both births were totally successful, but they didn’t necessarily progress the way she imagined they would. The real challenge for her came after the birth: in the fourth trimester. The monumental change of going from being a part of a couple, just two adults, to caring for a newborn was a pretty staggering life change, and the first time around it came with postpartum anxiety. Ultimately she used her experiences to shape her new career path: she’s become a postpartum coach, using all her hard earned lessons to help other women navigate this tricky time.

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Today’s guest used to be a bodybuilder and is now a trainer and the owner of a fitness center and the mother of two kids. I think she’d describe herself as a woman who likes a challenge, and that’s probably a good way to step into the role of becoming someone’s mother. Different circumstances required her to overcome challenges presented at each step of this process--she originally had trouble getting pregnant, she had a traumatic experience with miscarriage which ramped up her anxiety during the pregnancy that followed, she wrangled with postpartum depression--and each experience taught her something valuable that she was able to use, and from which she grow and developed into a stronger, better version of herself.

I also include the insights of a fantastic therapist

For links to Ashley's studio and videos, and more , see: https://warstoriesfromthewomb.com/

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Getting pregnant, being pregnant and giving birth can be challenging in a myriad of different ways. But for some people, this massive transformation is….fairly straightforward. I totally enjoy talking to people who had a relatively smooth experience because it proves that the ideas many of us come to pregnancy with are not mythic, they do in fact live in the world ...And sometimes these lucky souls who tread the untroubled path are intent on sharing their superpower through surrogacy. Today’s guest had an interest in fertility as a young adult, and this interest led her into nursing and midwifery. After the birth of her own child, she gave one of the greatest gifts anyone can give: she helped a couple who, for various reasons, couldn’t carry their own pregnancy, by becoming their surrogate.  It’s a beautiful and totally inspiring story.

For show notes, see: https://warstoriesfromthewomb.com/

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Everyone faces some kind of challenge in the process of becoming a parent. Today's guest took an unanticipated tour of possible approaches to labor and delivery. Once contractions were confirmed she arrived at the hospital to find her midwife busy with another birthing mother. So in the first half of her birth she was attended to by an OB, and the second half was overseen by a midwife, with very different approaches to labor. And because she was a single parent, she braved postpartum without a partner, which turned out to be a real challenge when colic arrived.

For shownotes, see: https://warstoriesfromthewomb.com/

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Both of my pregnancies taught me that just because some process is going on in the confines of your body, location does not imply control.

This is also true for my guest today.  To some degree, I think that if her timeline didn’t unfold in the very specific way it did, she would not have ended up where she did--the mother of two healthy girls. On the way to this outcome, she experiences both the best and the worst pregnancy “luck”.  Overall this story is one of good luck, because she is alive to tell it. Today’s guest did not endure one, but two tubal ectopic pregnancies. Often these types of pregnancies can be handled with medication, but if that route fails, as it did in her case, they require immediate surgical intervention to prevent a rupture, which can lead to internal bleeding and other emergency circumstances. Today’s guest was forced onto the hardest route out of an ectopic; and it’s the way she handled these pregnancy complications that makes her story one of incredible perseverance and resilience that she likely didn’t realize she embodied.

I also include the insights of a fantastic OBGYN.

For more extensive show notes, see : https://warstoriesfromthewomb.com/

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.

Talking to my mother and other women from previous generations it sounds like they got pregnant and gave birth in a culture that's different from the one we face today. Based on these talks, I have often wondered how we got to the specific point we are at: where pregnancy is a very medical experience, C sections are so common,  we seem to be just starting to talk more openly about miscarriages and the postpartum period, and women are trying to navigate the demands of breastfeeding and work. In today’s show I interview two historians of science to get a sense of how we arrived at this particular moment in which we find ourselves.

For more on my guests, see: https://warstoriesfromthewomb.com/

This is a weekly show that highlights real pregnancy, birth & postpartum stories.