This Messy Life.
You see, we only have this life. This one messy life. You and I both seem to get caught up on what we've done and haven't done, who we hurt and who we haven't hurt, how we've betrayed our very own selves. And maybe just like me, you have spent nights crying and crying, banging your head against the wall and pleading yourself to just change. Just like me, you might have made it as if you need to be a whole different person, but in this one messy life we only have ourselves. And what I've come to understand is I must love myself in my worst and at my best. In the times where I feel like I'm the worst human on this planet is when I should showcase so much love for myself. For we only have this one messy life, let's use it to better ourselves, to love ourselves and be the best version of ourselves.
And it's so so hard, and it takes a lifetime so why do you and I both fixate on every little thing and yes it's easier said than done but let's try and take everything on with ease. Like the trees, flowers and leaves who don't critique themselves for being too dirty, for not growing at the same rate or being prettier than the next. In this messy life let's try and start loving our own selves and enjoying our own company and it's so hard but it will get easier day by day and it's nothing but progress. In this messy life, it's so so hard to just forget about your past and if you're anything like me, you might have tried to bury it behind for it to only follow you like a shadow everywhere you went. You might think of the way you acted one time, of a shameful thing you did, the way you tore yourself and another person you loved to pieces. And I know, yes it hurts to the core of your being and might send shivers to your bones but it will get better I promise you. Just stick around to see yourself understanding your bad traits and ways to change them, but in this messy life do not think you have to change yourself, no you're a beautiful human but it's fine to change traits and heck! It's so hard, you'd think I'd change by now but it's so hard and I'm working on it and it takes time. But I promise you, you and I both will get there.
And you might relapse and act in such a way but forgive yourself, tell yourself it's all you are used to and you will find new ways to cope. To you and I both, in this messy life not everything needs to be figured out. Someone who used to be a large part of me once told me, "life is hard, it's not easy but how dare you even think of doubting it". And at the time I didn't think of it as much but now.
It's a line that gets me up each morning, for we only have this one messy life. How dare we doubt it? Life is beautiful and it's meant to be lived. Trust me, have some faith in life and in yourself, you and I both are going to be working so hard to better ourselves and our lives we will get through this. Forgive yourself and that's so hard, and let's try to be our very own best friends. This is such a struggle and you might feel like there's so much to do, but with grace and through faith we will get there. Remember, beautiful human. There is no checklist you have to cover or a perfect version of you, you must be. For we are ever changing and just like the weather we also change as humans, experiences shape us and pain changes us. I am so proud of you, and also myself for being here and for staying strong. We got this!!! - Extracts From A Book I'lI Never Write.❤️🩹
