What's Lightsabers, Precious?

EMERGENCY POD! What happens when you get a chance to adapt Tolkien's epic for Leningrad TV with no budget, two horses, and a prog rock band right before the fall of the Soviet Union? Khraniteli, the recently excavated 1991 2-part miniseries! It's a weird one, so buckle up, buddies!

SPOILER WARNING! In this special episode we talk in-depth about Rise of Skywalker and The Mandalorian, but mostly about Klaud the Banana Slug Monster.

In this special episode, we pay respects and look back on the life and career of Christopher "Daddy's Books" Tolkien, the patron saint of the Middle-Earth half of this podcast. Plus, important info about the future of the show!

How long have Gimli and Loki been dating? How do you teach Darth Maul about Christmas? Answers to these questions, plus pregnant Frodo, Luke Skywalker in Barbie pajamas, and other holiday tales to warm the cockles of your heart.

How was the Witch-King like Elsa? Canonically, how many toes does a Yoda have? Answers to these questions, plus flossing, Balto discussion, and Werner Herzog telling it like is.

What's the hoary history of where hobbits habitate? What's the backstory behind the bounty hunting beskar badasses? Answers to these questions, plus Witch-King waggery, anti-Jedi jetpacks, and yet more yarns from Yahoo Answers.

What were Morgoth's bud holes like? What happens when you mix Titanic, 2001, and WarGames with a sprinkle of terrible decisions? Answers to these questions, plus shilling for Disney, loving lamps, and the glorious return of Dash "The Man" Rendar.

How is Mordor like Florida? How many chapter cliffhangers involving bugs can your book have before actually being scary? Answers to these questions, plus a rare Lord of the Rings-Star Wars news crossover, Tolkien's heavy metal streak, and the return of the skimboard.

It's time to get SPOOKY! What's scarier - naked Nazgul or Clay Aiken? When will Tash Arranda learn the meaning of stranger danger? Answers to these questions, plus THE SPARAT WALD, Boba Fett being cool, and seriously, Clay Aiken?

Does Bombur have a personality besides "fat guy?" Who's the shrewd blue dude Disney was wooed to include? Answers to these questions, plus in-depth discussions of Force Friday, real Norwegian TV shows, and art appreciation gone wrong.