Either you’re happy in your marriage and want to remain that way, or you are not that happy in your marriage right now and feel frozen on how to fix it. My guest today is Ted Lowe who is an author, speaker and podcast host who has been helping to strengthen marriages for over two decades. You’ll love his relatable and doable approach to marriage and leave this conversation feeling encouraged, not ashamed. 
 In this episode, we talk about the secret to happy couples. Spoiler alert - it’s our thought life. Join us as we discuss how scripture, research and neuroscience together provide a simple way to rethink how we see marriage.  
 Ted gives us a couple of ways we can change our thought life today that will impact our marriage for the good. I was definitely convicted on this statement. Ted said, “how you think is how you treat them.” That is a true statement that I will remember for some time. 
 My favorite part is when I ask Ted how a couple can take action together to improve their marriage. His answer may surprise you. It was a piece of advice I wish I had heard about 20 years ago. Let me know what you think! Enjoy! Courtney 
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: ForUsMarriage.com - Ted’s site Ted’s latest book: Us In Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage The All Pro Dad Podcast 
 Teen Study Bible Life is Messy, God is Good

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What’s the secret to happy couples? Let’s talk marriage with Ted Lowe

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Kids & Family

Parenting

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” —1 Corinthians 9:24   The Christian life is more like a marathon than a sprint, requiring significant endurance if we’re going to make it through the obstacles we face along the way. From the day we accept Christ until we see him face-to-face, we’re continually building up endurance so we can best run the race set out for us.   Having endurance in the context of our faith means we’re always in training mode, getting ready for the hard places of discouragement and suffering that will challenge our readiness for the race. We build up our endurance practically by staying true to the basics: things like spending daily time with God, finding Christian community, memorizing Scripture, and seeking discipleship.   What a GIFT to have author and speaker (and track coach) Dorina Gilmore-Young on with us chatting about endurance. I absolutely loved her perspective as a widow, mom and coach - how endurance is something God produces in our kids through trials. We can pray for that process - that they may endure life’s hardships with Jesus as their strength.   Let’s challenge our kids to run well so they will hear Jesus say at the finish line, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).   Lord, before you created even one of us, you set us apart for your purposes. Give [name] the endurance to run the race you have planned for their life. Help them to stay the course when they run up against obstacles along the way, reminding them of the importance of putting in the daily work so they are prepared for anything they face. 
 God’s word speaks: Philippians 3:14; Romans 5:3–4; 2 Timothy 4:7; Hebrews 10:36

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BONUS: Marked by Endurance

Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. 
 Are you struggling with where your child should go to school? This common fear and worry can grip us all. We want so desperately to make the right choice for each of our kids. It can also be confusing when your friends all have different opinions on the matter or maybe your spouse is in disagreement with your plan.  
 You will feel extremely encouraged by today’s episode with Terry Ann Kelly. She has practical advice for these decisions as well as grounding truths to calm our hearts. She is a grandmother, wife and mom and has many years of experience with schools. As the founder of Students Standing Strong, she has seen first hand that God can do anything with any child and any school. 
 My favorite part is the story she shares about her son at the end. It is so refreshing to hear a very personal example of how God can use each of our kids in the most powerful ways at school every day.  
 In this episode we chat about: How to seek God in tough school decisionsHow to bring your faith into the public school settingHow to call your kiddos higher in loving their classmates
 Enjoy! 
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: Students Standing Strong Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide 
 Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. 
 


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Is private school better than public school? With Terry Ann Kelly

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” —1 Peter 4:10   As we wrap up the greatest commandment, we’re focused on how to love God with all of our strength. Contrary to how it sounds, loving God with all of our strength is not a reference to our physical strength. The Hebrew word used for strength in the context of the greatest commandment is me’od, which is translated as “much” or “very.” Loving God with all of our strength is loving God with our “much-ness.” It’s using our possessions, our time, our talents, our parenting, our volunteering—everything we’ve got—to love God and live for him. Said differently, wherever the Lord has planted you and with whatever resources he’s provided, use all your strength to love him smack-dab in the middle of it all. As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their strength, we’re praying that they use all of their party-planning skills, math aptitude, athleticism, and social media acumen for God’s greatest glory. It’s taking the seemingly small places in their life and asking the Lord to use it in every possible way for his bigger purposes. Spend time this week asking the Lord to use your kids’ gifts to bring God glory. Pray that he uses them for his greater purposes right where he has them, teaching them to love the Lord with all of their much-ness and strength. Lord, thank you for all the gifts and talents you’ve given our family. I pray that you will guide my children to use these gifts generously for your glory. With all of the much-ness you’ve given [name], remind them to serve those around them as they learn to love you with all of their strength.    God’s word speaks: Hebrews 13:16; Proverbs 11:24–25; Deuteronomy 16:17; Colossians 3:23

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BONUS: Marked by our Strength

Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. 
 It’s not often you get to interview a college kid about growing up as a Christian. The Stites are family friends of ours and a family we admire and respect so very much. I am often asking them for advice since they are ahead of the game by a few years.  
 Today’s episode is a chat with their son, Campbell, who is studying political science at Texas A&M; University. He has always been a leader and I have absolutely loved watching God grow his faith during his first year in college. He’s making some wise choices that we can all learn from. 
 My favorite part of the episode is when he encourages parents to get interested in their child's interests. He shares about how his mom invested in his interests and helped foster a super close mom/son relationship.  
 In this episode we discuss:How to make faith a priority in collegeThe power of friends and your circleHow to let boys have freedom vs controlling themThe gift of allowing your teens to fail
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: 
 Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide 
 Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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How can our kids keep their faith in college? with Campbell Stites

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” —2 Corinthians 10:5   As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their minds, we have to consider that our mind is made up of our thoughts. So, in order to love God with all of our minds, we have to think about what fills our minds and how it impacts the way we love God. Our thoughts are significant because they have the potential to grow our love for God or distract and pull us away from a relationship with him and his great plans for our life. The Enemy loves to get a hold of our thoughts and make us question God’s goodness and protection in our life. For our kids to love God with all of their minds, we’re praying that they “take captive” all the thoughts that are destructive, not instructive. This process of taking captive their thoughts is accomplished by knowing God’s word so that their thoughts are weighed against the truth of Scripture.  It also comes by considering what’s going into their minds and how that’s fueling (or lessening) their love for God. It’s praying that they evaluate the movies they watch, the music they listen to, and the voices they allow to speak into their lives.  Since our kids’ thoughts have the greatest impact on loving God with all of their minds, let’s take time to pray over their thoughts and ask God to help them take each one captive.  Lord, teach us to love you in all of the different areas of our life, including our minds. If our minds are made up of our thoughts, teach us to take captive our thoughts and bring them in line with your truth. Be with [name], helping them to guard what they allow into their minds so that it always honors you. 
 God’s word speaks: Isaiah 26:3; Jeremiah 33:3; Colossians 3:2–3; 1 Peter 1:13 
 


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What’s the secret to happy couples? Let’s talk marriage with Ted Lowe

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