What's the Story?

James Luginbyhl said goodbye to his two daughters two and a half years ago. This is how he learned to grieve with God instead of running from Him.

James grew up on a West Texas cattle ranch, where faith was inherited and feelings were buried. Then, in his late 30s, everything came apart at once. He lost his dad to cancer and his father-in-law within three months, his marriage ended, and a two-year custody battle followed over his two teenage daughters.

To stop the fight from damaging the girls, James made the hardest decision of his life. He had to walk away from the custody battle and said goodbye, and he hasn't seen them since. In the middle of that loss, he finally found the grace he'd heard about his whole life. He tells Matt how he keeps hope without pretending, how he learned to forgive, and why he now writes so his daughters could find him if they ever go looking.

This is an honest conversation about grief and faith held together. If you're carrying something heavy, this one is for you.

• 00:00 Welcome
• 03:32 From a West Texas ranch to culturally Christian
• 06:03 When everything fell apart
• 08:17 Saying goodbye to his daughters
• 17:07 The grace that found him
• 24:02 Learning to grieve with God
• 41:29 The one message he'd preach

James was raised in the Texas Panhandle, working cattle with his granddad when he'd rather have been playing Super Nintendo. He loved it, and he also names the cost of the culture he grew up inside.

He'd always called himself a Christian. Looking back, he describes a performance-based faith he felt he could never be good enough for, and he walked away from it in his early 30s.

In his late 30s the losses stacked up fast. His dad died of cancer. His father-in-law died within three months. His marriage ended as his faith and his wife's went in different directions, and a two-year custody battle over their two teenage daughters followed.

James is careful here, and it matters. He won't say anything against the girls' mother, because his hope is that his daughters will one day hear this.

He said his final goodbye around two and a half years ago. He started writing on Substack so that, if his daughters ever Google his name, they would be able to find him.

The turn came through a marriage class in Texas called Re-Engage. A leader there told James he didn't really understand grace. James thought he did. The leader said he didn't think so, and something started to shift.

His conversion moment came later, alone in a Waffle House at three in the morning over a cup of cold coffee.

James describes learning grace in two directions at once. Grace towards the other person, and then grace towards himself, which changed how he saw himself in God's eyes.

For the last couple of years, James says, his faith has mostly been about learning how to grieve with God rather than away from Him. He fell in love with the Psalms, which he'd always skipped over as poetry, starting with Psalm 42 and then Psalm 13 and its honest cry of "how long?".

He also found a new picture in the story of Jesus raising Lazarus.

He doesn't pretend the grief is gone. It still arrives every day, often through a photo on his phone or a song. He gives himself a moment, prays for his girls, and turns towards God rather than letting it pull him under. Forgiveness, he says, is something he sometimes has to pick back up.

He prays for his ex-wife, a practice his wife taught him, and he's clear that his healing began with forgiveness.

Matt and James land on something simple and freeing. You don't have to fix anyone's pain to be there in it. The people who helped James most were the ones who listened, let him cry, and didn't try to tidy it away with easy answers.

James is honest that not everyone can carry grief with you, and that's all right. He leans on his wife and a couple of close friends, including a mate named Jeff who took his crying phone calls daily for a long stretch.

When Matt asks for the one thing he'd say if he only had one message, James doesn't reach for anything complicated.

He read Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning early in the journey, and it stayed with him. The people who found meaning were the ones who could survive. For James, that meaning became his writing, telling his story, and helping other men walk through their own grief. Be vulnerable, he says, and don't try to white-knuckle it alone. Find the people who can handle your grief with you.

• Psalm 42 and Psalm 13, the laments James came back to again and again
• The book of Job, and staying solid in faith through loss
• The prodigal son, which James hears now from the father's side
• Jesus weeping and raising Lazarus (John 11), grieving with the family before the miracle
• Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• It Is Well With My Soul, the old hymn James tells the story behind, which closes his book

James Luginbyhl lives in West Texas, where he was raised on a cattle ranch. He hosts the Credo podcast, which is Latin for "I believe", and he's the author of Hymns for the Unfinished, a book of stories about grief and overcoming. He started writing so his daughters could find him one day, and it's grown into something that now helps other grieving men. Matt is writing his own book on Christian masculinity, Act Like Men, so the two share a lot of heart for this ground.

• Podcast credopodcast.com
• Book Hymns for the Unfinished on Amazon

• More real stories of faith at whatsthestorypodcast.com
• Find out more about Crowd Church at crowd.church
• New to faith or full of questions? A good place to start is the Alpha course, a relaxed 15-week online exploration of the basics of Christianity, with people joining from all over the world. Find it at crowd.church.

Crowd Church — a community for those who might not see the point of church.

When the bad news keeps stacking up, is it still possible to be grateful? Kelly Green on the year that nearly broke him.

Pastor Kelly Green was knocked out cold officiating an American football game and woke up in hospital with two brain bleeds. That was only the start. Over the months that followed came skin cancer, a benign brain tumour, the loss of his mum, and surgery after surgery. His wife nicknamed it "the Year of the Dragon."

In this honest conversation, Kelly tells Matt why, in the middle of all of it, he found himself more grateful and closer to God than in 40 years of ministry. This is not a story about pretending it was easy. Kelly is open about breaking down, about the fear, and about the daily work of trusting God when everything feels like it is crumbling. If you are in your own hard season, this one is for you.

• How a single play on the football field ended with Kelly in hospital with two brain bleeds
• Growing up in the Lutheran church, the "you're worthless" moment in front of the mirror, and coming to faith at 24
• 40 years of ministry, being bivocational, and why calling matters more than the celebrity culture creeping into church
• The pile-up Kelly calls death by a thousand cuts, and why it is the small things stacked on top of each other that take us under
• "The Year of the Dragon" and the wife who walked every step of it with him
• The one message Kelly would preach if he could only preach one more
• Where to find Kelly's three books and how to reach him

Kelly was the crew chief, the "white hat," standing 15 to 20 yards behind the play when two players collided into him. He doesn't remember the impact, only holding up his hands.

A CAT scan at Grant Hospital in Columbus found two small brain bleeds. It could have been far worse. Kelly is clear that he came away believing God had spared him for a reason, to tell others about the hope we have.

The injury was one blow. Then came skin cancer and surgery that took 38 stitches. Then losing his mum, who had dementia, at almost 96. Then a benign brain tumour that has to be watched with regular MRI scans. Kelly names something a lot of us feel in a hard stretch.

He is honest that he has broken down more than once, and that things affect him more deeply now than they used to. His answer is not a tidy formula. It is turning to God again and again, and leaning on the people God places around us.

Kelly's wife gave the season its name.

Matt reflects on watching his own wife, Sharon, go through skin cancer, and how her relationship with God deepened in the hardest of circumstances. Both men land in the same place. You would never choose the storm, but there is something God does in the middle of it that changes you.

Kelly says the words plainly.

He isn't celebrating the suffering. What he is grateful for is what God did in the middle of it, drawing him closer than 40 years of ministry ever had. Rather than asking "why me," Kelly landed somewhere freer.

When Matt asks what Kelly would preach if he only had one message left, the answer became the heart of his books.

It is why he writes and why he tells the story. Not to be known himself, but so that people who are struggling are given faith, hope, and a reason to keep going.

• The disciples in the boat and Jesus calming the storm (Mark 4:35-41)
• Paul calling himself the worst of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15)
• How to Be Born Again by Billy Graham, the book that helped Kelly come to faith
• Scars Beyond the Surface, Healing Beyond the Surface and Beyond the Healing by Kelly E. Green

Kelly Green (Kelly E. Green) has pastored for around 40 years and lives in Zanesville, Ohio. Bivocational for much of that time, he also substitute teaches to supplement his income. After a serious head injury while officiating an American football game, he started writing about the wounds people carry beneath the surface. He is the author of three books, beginning with Scars Beyond the Surface.

• Substack kellygreen232127.substack.com
• Facebook "Pastor Kelly" (search Kelly E. Green)
• Amazon (search "Kelly E. Green")

Kelly would love to hear from you, especially if you need prayer. Reach out through any of the above.

• More real stories of faith at whatsthestorypodcast.com
• Find out more about Crowd Church at crowd.church
• New to faith or full of questions? A good place to start is the Alpha course, a relaxed 15-week online exploration of the basics of Christianity, with people joining from all over the world. Find it at crowd.church.

Crowd Church — a community for those who might not see the point of church.

Told he had two to three months to live in January, Allan Finnegan says these are the best years of his life — and means it.

Allan Finnegan is a Baptist minister from Liverpool, a stand-up comedian, and the author of I Didn’t Ask For Any Of This — Church, Comedy and Cancer (Broad Place Publishing, 2026). On the 20th of January this year, he was told he had two to three months left. He’s still here, still finishing things, and remarkably at peace.

In this honest, often funny conversation Allan talks to Matt about the comedy course that quietly changed his preaching, the hour he spent crying in a Tesco’s car park because he’d realised he had no friends outside church, the night his old mates told him they thought he’d been dead for thirty years, and what he’s learning about finishing well now that the medicine has stopped working.

• 00:00 Welcome and Wednesday Night Finnegans
• 01:23 The book — I Didn’t Ask For Any Of This
• 03:30 How a preaching class led Allan to a stand-up comedy course
• 06:20 Why comedy techniques make for better sermons
• 10:58 Certainty kills faith — giving people permission to doubt
• 13:24 “I started a podcast instead of a prayer meeting”
• 14:30 Becoming the minister he never wanted to be
• 17:43 Trying to engineer being sacked
• 18:32 Crying in a Tesco’s car park in Litherland
• 21:00 Walking back into a Bootle pub after thirty years away
• 24:00 Why comedy saved his faith
• 28:27 Comedy needed him less than he needed comedy
• 32:50 Steve the nudist Baptist minister
• 35:08 Britain’s Got Talent — the four yeses
• 38:30 The Zoom semi-final disaster and the £9 Primark shoes
• 42:18 “It’s only a freckle” — the cancer diagnosis
• 50:00 Told he had two to three months on the 20th of January
• 51:34 “I am truly in the hands of God now”
• 52:38 The last sermon and the last comedy gig
• 53:56 What Allan has learned about finishing well
• 54:42 Philippians 1:6 as the verse that holds his life together
• 1:00:00 Just keep turning up

• Philippians 1:6 — “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” Allan’s anchor verse since he came to faith aged 16.
• Jonah — Allan reaches for Jonah’s story to make sense of his own. The hard work, he reckons, often needed to be done on the messenger as much as the message.
• I Didn’t Ask For Any Of This — Church, Comedy and Cancer by Allan Finnegan (Broad Place Publishing, 2026). Available on Amazon in Kindle and Audible. The audiobook intro is read by Allan; the rest is narrated by Christian comedian Andy Kind.
• Wednesday Night Finnegans — the podcast Allan ran with Tom Grant during and after lockdown. Tom has also been a guest on What’s The Story — listen to his episode here: crowd.church/whats-the-story/breaking-out-of-our-comfort-zone-being-part-of-an-eden-team-tom-grant
• Comedy Trust Liverpool — where Allan did the six-week stand-up course (taught by Sam Avery and Brendan Reilly) that started everything.
• Britain’s Got Talent 2020 — Allan’s audition at the London Palladium got four yeses, with Simon Cowell calling it the best audition of the day.

• Crowd Church — crowd.church
• More episodes of What’s The Story — crowd.church/whats-the-story
• Allan’s book on Amazon — I Didn’t Ask For Any Of This — Church, Comedy and Cancer (Kindle and Audible)
• Broad Place Publishing — Allan’s publisher

Crowd Church — a community for those who might not see the point of church.

In this soul-stirring conversation, Laura Nicholson shares her remarkable journey of finding value beyond relationship status. As Director of Second2None School Support, worship leader, and soon-to-be adoptive mum, Laura opens up about navigating church hurt, embracing singleness, and discovering her unchanging worth in God. Contrary to what many church cultures imply, Laura demonstrates how a single life can be filled with purpose, community, and impact—proving that our value isn't determined by our status but by who we are in Christ.

Laura Nicholson is the founder and director of Second to Non School Support, providing clerking services to over 150 schools across the northwest UK and beyond. Beyond her professional achievements, Laura is an accomplished worship leader and musician in her local church. She has experience as a foster carer and is currently in the process of becoming an adoptive parent. Laura's journey through performance Christianity to authentic faith offers wisdom for anyone struggling to find their place in church or society.

1. Your value transcends status - "Knowing your value in God is crucial because that's the thing that will never change. Your feelings will come and go, but your value, where you put your trust, is crucial."
2. Community heals - "Pray to God that he brings the right people to you at the right time. He doesn't want you on your own."
3. Church culture needs balance - Laura challenges the family-centric nature of many churches: "It's not about what you don't have. It's looking at all the amazing things that are going well."
4. Singleness has unique benefits - "My forties have been some of my best years so far. I'm the most steady and secure I've ever been."
5. Faith empowers purpose - Laura's journey into fostering and adoption demonstrates how faith can empower significant life decisions regardless of relationship status.

Have you struggled with finding your value beyond relationship status or navigating church as a single person? We'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Connect with us:

• Website: crowd.church
• Instagram: @crowdchurch

New episodes of What's The Story? are available every week. Subscribe to hear more stories of faith and courage from everyday people.

What's The Story? is a podcast aimed at people who are curious about faith but don't see the point in church, sharing real stories of God moving in the lives of everyday people.

What if the door that seems permanently closed is actually leading somewhere beautiful? Kim Patton's decade-long infertility journey became the unexpected pathway to adopting two biological sisters and working with teenage girls in foster care. In this raw conversation with Anna Kettle, Kim shares how her anxious resistance to God's call transformed into purpose and peace. From struggling with health issues and career confusion to managing a household of toddlers and teenagers, Kim reveals how surrender and daily dependence on God can sustain us through seemingly impossible seasons. Her story proves that our most painful chapters can become doorways to a life more meaningful than we could have planned.

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• How Kim's 10-year infertility journey led to adopting biological sisters and a ministry with teenage girls
• Practical ways to manage anxiety and overwhelm while serving others
• Why "absolute dependence on God" is the key to surviving impossible seasons
• How to build a support system of prayer partners during difficult transitions
• The transformative power of seeing your life as a "living sacrifice"

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Main Links

• Kim Patton's website: kimpatton.com
• Kim's book "Nothing Wasted: Struggling Well Through Difficult Seasons" on Amazon (both print and audiobook versions)
• Book Therapy Podcast (released bi-weekly)

Ministry Links

• Waiting in Hope Infertility Ministry
• Her View From Home (publication Kim writes for)

CROWD Church Links

• CROWD Church website: crowd.church
• What's the Story Podcast website: whatsthestorypodcast.com

Social Media

• Kim's Instagram
• CROWD Church's Instagram

Join Sadaf Beynon on "What's the Story?" as she explore tales of faith and resilience with guest Tamala Anderson, an inspiring author and founder of Pursuing Christ Ministries. Discover Tamala's journey through personal trials and her unwavering faith that led to a transformative ministry. Subscribe for more uplifting stories and visit Crowd Church for a digital sanctuary to explore the Christian faith.

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Timestamps:

0:00 Intro

1:41 Introduction of Tamala Anderson

4:22 Tamala's Background and Faith Journey

7:07 Facing Unexpected Challenges

11:31 Navigating Early Days of Single Parenthood

16:09 Impact on Children and Family Dynamics

21:33 Health Challenges and Miraculous Recovery

28:42 Transformation Through Faith

34:01 Tamala's Ministry and Writing

38:56 Key Message and Encouragement

41:42 Conclusion and Farewell

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Key Takeaways:

1. Embrace Faith During Hardships: Tamala emphasises the importance of seeking a deeper connection with God during life's challenges. She shares how her faith was transformed through personal trials, highlighting that turning to God can provide strength and guidance when facing adversity.

2. The Power of Forgiveness: Tamala discusses the significance of forgiveness, even when deeply hurt. She acknowledges the difficulty of forgiving those who have wronged us but stresses that it is essential for healing and moving forward. This process often requires divine assistance, as it can be beyond human capability alone.

3. God's Faithfulness and Our Role: Tamala underscores that while God is always present and faithful, individuals must actively seek Him. She points out that God asks us to take steps towards Him through prayer, waiting, and being still. This active pursuit allows us to experience His presence and guidance more profoundly.

Join host Matt Edmundson on "What's the Story?" as he explores faith and courage with guest Jonathan Lewis, founder of Fathers for Fathers. Discover insights into healthy masculinity, the power of faith, and the journey of overcoming life's challenges. Subscribe for more inspiring stories and visit Crowd Church for a digital sanctuary to explore the Christian faith.

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Timestamps:

0:00 Intro

5:31 Political Climate

11:47 Eternal Perspective

18:54 Trust in God

26:48 Masculine Expectations

35:06 Personal Struggles

43:53 Joy in Trials

50:26 Godly Masculinity

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Key Takeaways:

1. Seek Peace Beyond Material Wealth: Jonathan emphasises the importance of finding peace that transcends material possessions and financial security. He suggests that true peace comes from a deeper spiritual understanding and relationship with God, rather than relying solely on tangible assets.

2. Embrace Humility and Character Building: He highlights humility as a key characteristic of a godly man. Jonathan shares that going through life's challenges with a humble spirit can refine one's character, leading to personal growth and a deeper connection with God.

3. Trust in God's Plan Amidst Life's Trials: Jonathan advises trusting in God's plan, even when life presents significant challenges. He shares personal experiences of hardship and how maintaining faith and trust in God can lead to personal peace and eventual positive outcomes, even if they are not immediately apparent.

Join host Sadaf Beynon on "What's the Story?" as she explores the inspiring journey of Thomas Abbott, a missionary kid turned global traveller, who shares his experiences of faith, family, and cultural transitions. Discover how Thomas's upbringing in Pakistan and his work in China shaped his worldview and spiritual convictions. Don't forget to subscribe for more compelling stories and visit Crowd Church for a digital space to explore faith.

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Timestamps:

0:00 Intro

6:04 Thomas Abbot's Global Journey

13:59 Experiencing Faith in Pakistan

23:32 Baptism in China

32:18 Returning to the UK

37:59 Meeting Rachel

47:23 Belief in Six-Day Creation

55:29 Authority of Scripture

1:03:53 Church Leadership

1:11:27 Jesus Manifesto

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Key Takeaways:

1. Embrace Your Unique Path: Thomas highlights the importance of recognising and embracing one's unique journey, especially when it involves cultural and faith-based differences. Growing up in diverse environments, he learned to be comfortable with being different and saw it as a purposeful part of his life. 

2. Live with Integrity and Faith: Thomas credits his parents for living a life of integrity and faith, which deeply influenced his own beliefs. He emphasises the significance of not just talking about faith but living it out authentically. 

3. Understand the Urgency of Mission: Through his belief in a literal six-day creation, Thomas developed a sense of urgency about living a life on mission. He suggests that understanding the world through a biblical lens can instil a sense of immediacy in fulfilling one's purpose and sharing the gospel. 

Join Matt Edmundson on "What's the Story?" as he explores tales of faith and courage with guest Steven Pemberton. Discover Steven's journey from an angry youth to a devoted Christian, husband, and father, and how his faith transformed his life and family. Subscribe for more inspiring stories and visit whatsthestorypodcast.com for show notes and updates.

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Timestamps:

0:00 Intro

3:58 Steven's Early Faith Journey

7:04 Clarification on Being "Saved"

10:15 Teenage Years and Faith Challenges

14:24 Leaving the Church

18:34 Forgiveness and Personal Growth

23:10 Church's Decision on Marriage

27:25 Anger and Personal Development

30:42 Marriage Challenges and Overcoming Infidelity

33:04 Returning to Church and Renewed Faith

36:53 Impact on Family and Community

41:23 Surviving Infidelity in Marriage

47:51 Lessons from Adversity

51:12 Outro

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Key Takeaways:

1. Embrace Forgiveness: Steven highlights the importance of forgiveness, not just as a religious concept but as a practical tool for personal well-being. He shares how holding onto anger and resentment can manifest physically and emotionally, and how releasing these feelings through forgiveness can lead to a healthier, more peaceful life.

2. Value Community and Relationships: Steven discusses his journey from being isolated and angry to valuing community and relationships. He emphasises the significance of surrounding oneself with community because "that's where God does his best work".

3. Trust in God During Adversity: Steven's story illustrates the power of faith in overcoming life's challenges. He shares how trusting in God during difficult times, such as marital struggles and career changes, has led to personal and spiritual growth. His experience underscores how faith and God's grace can provide strength, direction, and the means to endure when facing adversity.

Welcome to this weeks episode of "What's the Story," in this episode host Matt Edmundson interviews Jonathan Lewis, President of Eastport Financial Group Incorporated, author of "Deep Water" and "More Than Money," and founder of Fathers for Fathers. Jonathan shares his faith journey, struggles, and the transformative power of Christianity in his life.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Transformative Power of Faith: Jonathan's faith journey highlights the significant transformation that true convictional Christianity can bring to a person's life. At 34, he experienced a pivotal moment of surrender to Christ, which profoundly impacted his approach to life, business, and relationships. His story emphasizes the importance of trusting in God's plan and letting go of personal idols to experience genuine spiritual growth.
2. The Importance of Forgiveness: Forgiveness plays a central role in Jonathan's narrative. His decision to forgive his ex-wife and seek her forgiveness, despite the pain and difficulty, led to a profound sense of freedom and healing. This act of forgiveness not only improved his personal well-being but also demonstrated the power of following Christ's commands in bringing about reconciliation and personal peace.
3. Supporting and Empowering Men: Jonathan's initiative, Fathers for Fathers, addresses the critical issue of male despair and suicide, particularly among those estranged from their children or struggling with personal failures. The organization aims to support men through various means, including mentorship, immersive studies, and practical guidance. Jonathan's call to action for men to rise above victimhood and villainy, embrace their God-given identity, and take actionable steps toward personal and spiritual growth is a powerful message of hope and empowerment.

If this episode connected and you would like to find out more join us for our weekly Crowd Church livestream every Sunday at 6pm. God Bless.