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When a thank you looks like silence
Format: Post-call
Runtime: ~8 minutes
Source: Psychology , alexithymia (Sifneos, 1973); emotional literacy and interoceptive awareness; stoicism as emotional regulation style
This one I almost misjudged. I want to be clear about that upfront. I almost read him wrong and would have walked away from the call with the wrong understanding of what had happened.
He's been a customer for three years. Good system , a Trane I put in, proper load calculation, has run clean since. He's had me out twice for annual maintenance and once for a minor capacitor swap. Every call has gone the same way.
He opens the door. He shows me to the unit. He stands near while I work. He doesn't volunteer much. When I'm done he looks at the invoice, pays it, and says goodbye.
No thank you. No "it looks great." No "appreciate it." Just goodbye.
Three calls in three years.
The first time I almost took it personally. In this trade you develop a feel for whether a customer is satisfied. The smile when the system kicks on. The exhale when you tell them the repair is straightforward and not a catastrophic number. The thank-you at the door.
He doesn't do any of those things. He does the transaction. He has the look of a man who processes through the inside rather than the outside, and nothing on the outside tells you much about what's happening on the inside.
After the first call I wasn't sure he'd call back.
He called back for the annual tune-up eleven months later, booked a week in advance, had the unit accessible when I arrived.
There's a word in clinical psychology for the difficulty some people have in identifying, naming, and expressing their emotional states. Peter Sifneos coined it in 1973: alexithymia. From Greek , "without words for feeling." Not the absence of feeling. The absence of accessible language for it. Not the same thing.
Research on alexithymia , and it falls on a spectrum, not an on/off condition , has found that between five and ten percent of the general population experiences significant difficulty with emotional identification and expression. They feel things. The feeling doesn't readily translate into the outward behaviors we've come to associate with feeling , the face, the tone, the thank-you at the door.
Give Us A Shout
Thanks for tuning in to Hartzell's Heat & Air, your trusted HVAC experts in Oklahoma and beyond. From Kingfisher to coast-to-coast consulting, we design, install, and maintain smart, efficient systems that deliver year-round comfort.
We're employee-owned, family-run, and powered by 45+ years of experience. Whether it's AI-powered thermostats, geothermal systems, or classic tune-ups, we deliver upfront pricing, expert care, and warranties that back it all up.
🛠️ Book Online:
https://book.housecallpro.com/book/Hartzells-Heat--Air/4a569038b3dc460daf2d5f6497b18351?v2=true
🌐 www.hartzellsheatair.com
📞 (405) 375-4822
🚛 Trane Comfort Specialist • Mitsubishi Diamond Dealer • ClimateMaster Elite
🛡️ VIP Comfort Club • Remote Monitoring • Extended Warranties
📲 Follow us for tips, updates, and real-world installs:
YouTube: @hartzellsheatair6003
X: https://x.com/HartzellsHVAC
Facebook: facebook.com/hartzellsheatair
LinkedIn: Dave Hartzell
Built on trust. Backed by warranty. Designed for comfort.
View all episodes
By Dave Hartzell's Heat & Air - Kingfisher,OKFormat: Post-call
Runtime: ~8 minutes
Source: Psychology , alexithymia (Sifneos, 1973); emotional literacy and interoceptive awareness; stoicism as emotional regulation style
This one I almost misjudged. I want to be clear about that upfront. I almost read him wrong and would have walked away from the call with the wrong understanding of what had happened.
He's been a customer for three years. Good system , a Trane I put in, proper load calculation, has run clean since. He's had me out twice for annual maintenance and once for a minor capacitor swap. Every call has gone the same way.
He opens the door. He shows me to the unit. He stands near while I work. He doesn't volunteer much. When I'm done he looks at the invoice, pays it, and says goodbye.
No thank you. No "it looks great." No "appreciate it." Just goodbye.
Three calls in three years.
The first time I almost took it personally. In this trade you develop a feel for whether a customer is satisfied. The smile when the system kicks on. The exhale when you tell them the repair is straightforward and not a catastrophic number. The thank-you at the door.
He doesn't do any of those things. He does the transaction. He has the look of a man who processes through the inside rather than the outside, and nothing on the outside tells you much about what's happening on the inside.
After the first call I wasn't sure he'd call back.
He called back for the annual tune-up eleven months later, booked a week in advance, had the unit accessible when I arrived.
There's a word in clinical psychology for the difficulty some people have in identifying, naming, and expressing their emotional states. Peter Sifneos coined it in 1973: alexithymia. From Greek , "without words for feeling." Not the absence of feeling. The absence of accessible language for it. Not the same thing.
Research on alexithymia , and it falls on a spectrum, not an on/off condition , has found that between five and ten percent of the general population experiences significant difficulty with emotional identification and expression. They feel things. The feeling doesn't readily translate into the outward behaviors we've come to associate with feeling , the face, the tone, the thank-you at the door.
Give Us A Shout
Thanks for tuning in to Hartzell's Heat & Air, your trusted HVAC experts in Oklahoma and beyond. From Kingfisher to coast-to-coast consulting, we design, install, and maintain smart, efficient systems that deliver year-round comfort.
We're employee-owned, family-run, and powered by 45+ years of experience. Whether it's AI-powered thermostats, geothermal systems, or classic tune-ups, we deliver upfront pricing, expert care, and warranties that back it all up.
🛠️ Book Online:
https://book.housecallpro.com/book/Hartzells-Heat--Air/4a569038b3dc460daf2d5f6497b18351?v2=true
🌐 www.hartzellsheatair.com
📞 (405) 375-4822
🚛 Trane Comfort Specialist • Mitsubishi Diamond Dealer • ClimateMaster Elite
🛡️ VIP Comfort Club • Remote Monitoring • Extended Warranties
📲 Follow us for tips, updates, and real-world installs:
YouTube: @hartzellsheatair6003
X: https://x.com/HartzellsHVAC
Facebook: facebook.com/hartzellsheatair
LinkedIn: Dave Hartzell
Built on trust. Backed by warranty. Designed for comfort.