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When Conflict Cuts Deep: What Restores Us with Dr. Mike Sytsma
What does healing actually require — in a marriage, in a community, or in a culture stretched thin by conflict?
We’re living in a time when tension feels everywhere — in our homes, online, within institutions, and across the nation. The emotional strain we feel collectively often mirrors what happens inside relationships: disconnection, mistrust, stuck narratives, and the fear that things may never return to peace.
That’s why today’s conversation with Dr. Mike Sytsma is so compelling.
For more than 30 years, Mike has worked with couples facing some of the most painful relational fractures imaginable — and he’s learned something stunningly consistent: two things must be present for healing to even begin:
1. A contrite, humble heart
—a genuine willingness to acknowledge harm and soften defensiveness.
2. Grace
—creating space for change without erasing boundaries, truth, or accountability.
These two human capacities, he says, are just as essential for restoring marriages as they are for healing communities and cultures under strain.
In this episode, Mike and Corie explore:
Why deep conflict (personal or societal) emerges when pain goes unaddressed
What makes a contrite heart so transformative — and so rare
How grace functions as an active force in reconciliation, not passive acceptance
The difference between forgiveness, safety, and rebuilding trust
Why some relationships — and some communities — recover while others fracture
How humility, grit, and emotional regulation allow peace to take root again
What healing looks like when it’s slow, nonlinear, and imperfect
The inner work required of both individuals before reconciliation can occur
Corie reflects on how these insights reach far beyond intimate relationships:
To heal a divided culture, individuals must first examine the inner conflicts that shape how they show up in the world. The principles that restore a marriage — truth, humility, accountability, and compassion — are the same principles that restore communities.
Listener Invitation
Do you have a story of conflict, healing, or peace?
We’d love to hear it. Record a short voice memo on your phone and send it to:
📩 https://intimatemarriage.org/.
Past Episodes with Dr. Mike:
Secrets of Sex with Dr. Michael Sytsma: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-xc6gm-13cde55
Sexual Intimacy & Post-Affair:
https://www.podbean.com/ep/pb-yettc-97de7e
Restoring Trust:
https://vimeo.com/117354250?fl=pl&fe=sh
View all episodes
By Corie Weathers, LPC, BCC
5
1010 ratings
What does healing actually require — in a marriage, in a community, or in a culture stretched thin by conflict?
We’re living in a time when tension feels everywhere — in our homes, online, within institutions, and across the nation. The emotional strain we feel collectively often mirrors what happens inside relationships: disconnection, mistrust, stuck narratives, and the fear that things may never return to peace.
That’s why today’s conversation with Dr. Mike Sytsma is so compelling.
For more than 30 years, Mike has worked with couples facing some of the most painful relational fractures imaginable — and he’s learned something stunningly consistent: two things must be present for healing to even begin:
1. A contrite, humble heart
—a genuine willingness to acknowledge harm and soften defensiveness.
2. Grace
—creating space for change without erasing boundaries, truth, or accountability.
These two human capacities, he says, are just as essential for restoring marriages as they are for healing communities and cultures under strain.
In this episode, Mike and Corie explore:
Why deep conflict (personal or societal) emerges when pain goes unaddressed
What makes a contrite heart so transformative — and so rare
How grace functions as an active force in reconciliation, not passive acceptance
The difference between forgiveness, safety, and rebuilding trust
Why some relationships — and some communities — recover while others fracture
How humility, grit, and emotional regulation allow peace to take root again
What healing looks like when it’s slow, nonlinear, and imperfect
The inner work required of both individuals before reconciliation can occur
Corie reflects on how these insights reach far beyond intimate relationships:
To heal a divided culture, individuals must first examine the inner conflicts that shape how they show up in the world. The principles that restore a marriage — truth, humility, accountability, and compassion — are the same principles that restore communities.
Listener Invitation
Do you have a story of conflict, healing, or peace?
We’d love to hear it. Record a short voice memo on your phone and send it to:
📩 https://intimatemarriage.org/.
Past Episodes with Dr. Mike:
Secrets of Sex with Dr. Michael Sytsma: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-xc6gm-13cde55
Sexual Intimacy & Post-Affair:
https://www.podbean.com/ep/pb-yettc-97de7e
Restoring Trust:
https://vimeo.com/117354250?fl=pl&fe=sh
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