Join Matt, Victoria and their guest, Laurie Bohrer, as they discuss interpersonal dynamics between siblings throughout one's lifespan. We are born into our unique family systems, and we can be defined by birth order in our formative years.  Matt, Victoria and Laurie explore what it looks like to move beyond birth order in our family systems to foster healthier adult relationships with siblings. Additionally, not all family systems can adapt to a sibling initiating a desired change in adulthood. This often leads to the need to create distance/separation from sibling dynamics in order to continue the path towards healing and maturing. 

Regardless of your dynamic, we hope that you find this episode a conversation starter within your own homes, friendships and family dynamics. 

Thanks again for listening, Matt and Victoria

Join Matt and Victoria as they discuss what it means to foster post-traumatic growth and resiliency in your healing journey. As we navigate trauma-informed therapeutic interventions in our recovery, we often focus on what happened and can lose sight of what can be gained on the other side truth.  Victoria and Matt discuss what it means to move beyond maladaptive ways of coping with our histories to a divine encounter with Christ.  As we invite Jesus into our stories, we move from survival from the truth of our experiences to an encounter with wisdom, mercy, compassion, mindfulness and humility. 

As always, we hope this episode opens up conversations with those that are walking alongside you in your journey of healing. 

Many of us have heard about the inner wounded child, but what about the inner wounded teenager within us?

Victoria and Matt welcome back Laurie Bohrer, a licensed therapist, to explore the many facets of the inner wounded teenager.  We explore how this part of us can show up in our adult life and how we react to this often-unannounced broken part of us. We befriend our own rebellious inner teens and bear witness to their struggles with identity and role confusion. As we reflect on better understanding who we were back then we are led to find new ways to love our inner young person. We discuss the reality that back then our coping skills were limited by a young brain. Therefore, as we change the lens on the camera, with our adult hearts and minds, we find an abundance of love and mercy for these parts of ourselves. We hope this inspires you to befriend your own inner wounded teenager to bring forth a deeper sense of compassion and curiosity for this often-neglected part of one’s healing journey. 

 Thanks for your continued support. 

 Shout out to the skater girl who has returned to the ice. 

 Peace and love!

Victoria and Matt

As we begin Season 3 of "When Gathering Light" we return to a topic that often has a resounding effect in our relationships with significant others, spouses, family and friends and that's our trauma histories.

We are all survivors of something. Whether we have survived smaller difficult events or larger woundings, we aren't always cognizant of how they will reveal themselves in our relationships. We agree that Satan will use these injuries to try to separate us from God. It's essential that we find the resources to begin the healing process either with a loved one or on our own. 

Victoria and I offer our own humility as we have gone back to therapy to work through some difficult stressful issues in our marriage. We of course try to find some humor in these struggles but as is so often the case we find communicating with love and inviting the Holy Spirit into the hard places brings forth the most fruit.  As is always the case with this podcast, we hope to create dialogs amongst loved ones. Fear is mitigated by love when we talk things out and listen with open hearts. 

We thank you for all of your support over the last two years. If you have a topic that you would like us to consider or a guest who would offer new light, you can send Matt an email: [email protected]

Peace and Love,

Victoria and Matt

Join Matt and Victoria as they explore some of the anxiety inducing aspects of our twenty-first century world and how we can potentially create self-care micro-adjustments to reduce the effects on us. Do we go online to have our voice heard, sometimes to our detriment? Do we join groups on-line to feel a part of something even though we can find ourselves struggling with the messaging? What if our community fosters fear and mistrust?  Where is God in this plethora of digital noise and fear induced social connections? 

Our aim is to create a dialog amongst our listeners and their loved ones so that they can foster social interactions grounded in the fruits of the spirit and not a spirit of fear.  Thanks for joining us in this dialog as we navigate our own personal and professional lives and strive to stay connected in this modern digital world. Peace!  

Many of us are being called to be caregivers for our parents, grandparents, grandchildren, siblings and friends. Victoria and Matt talk about some of the challenges, frustrations and the potential for God's grace in the middle of this often-affirming journey. Is it our job as a Christian? Can we tap into a new understanding and a deeper relationship with our loved ones? Can we have meaningful conversations with other family members as we define rolls and plans for caregiving? We ultimately serve the most amazing Caregiver of all, a loving God. Can we emulate Christ in our efforts? Join us in this important dialog. Shalom!

Join Victoria and Sharon Tittl as they discuss the importance of attending to the mental health of athletes. The 2024 Summer Olympics increased awareness of the mental health of athletes, such as Simone Biles. Many of us will never be elite athletes, yet the importance of attending to our mental health in sport is still important. Additionally, Victoria and Sharon explore life after competitive sport and the pursuit of physical activity for wellness throughout our lifespan. 

Sharon Tittl, M.Ed, LPCC: Sharon is naturally drawn to helping the emerging adulthood age group because of experiencing counseling for the first time in college herself.  It was a time of growth and healing that led her to study Clinical Counseling.  She graduated from Malone University in 2014 and pursued training in treating eating disorders, in both individual and group settings. Throughout her career she has also provided educational trainings on eating disorder awareness and treatment. She combines clinical experience working with athletes and her own passion for gymnastics, running and yoga. Sharon utilizes visualization, meditation, challenging perfectionism, creating positive body image and increasing one’s individual identity outside of sport. Along with these specialties in therapy, she uses evidence-based trauma modalities to attend to traumatic experiences in athletes’ lives to help them excel both in and out of their sport. 

Victoria and Matt discuss the complexities of codependent relationships and behavior. Victoria talks about Melody Beatties' powerful book "Codependent No More" as an excellent resource for dealing with these often-unhealthy relationships in our lives. Whether we are unhealthily supporting an addict or our need to control another's behavior is destroying relationships, there is a way out. "When Gathering Light" has one core goal and that is to help people start a dialog in their family or elsewhere that leads to God's healing powers. Join us as we discuss this essential topic for renewed healing and fulfillment in our walk with Christ. Peace!

Hi Everyone! In this episode Victoria and I talk about the Holy Spirit. I grew up in the Catholic Church where the 3rd part of the Trinity was referred to as "The Holy Ghost". That was a wild concept for a child to grasp. A ghost that was Holy...oh my! Our goal today is to start a dialog about what we have discovered about the Holy Spirit to hopefully start a conversation in your home and with your loved ones. 

Thanks for always tuning into "When Gathering Light". Victoria and I want to thank each of you for your love and prayers over these last two seasons. Enjoy this episode, may Holy Spirit bring you delight and gifts and may God's love be with you today. 

Join Matt and Victoria as they invite Laurie Bohrer into the studio to discuss what it means to be the scapegoat in family systems theory. 

Scapegoat originates from the Bible’s reference to a goat upon which Aaron cast all the sins of Israel and then banished to the wilderness. The goat, though presumably blameless, was essentially punished for the sins of the people of Israel. Christ became a scapegoat for the Jewish religious leaders, because the truth he spoke threatened their authority and power in the system.

In family systems theory, scapegoat refers to the identified member(s) that pay the price for the immorality of others, as well as are a target of blame when outcomes are not what one hoped for. Family members will project their own unresolved issues, shame, guilt and fear onto the scapegoat as a means to deflect attention away from their actions/behaviors.