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When Love Hurts: Recognizing Trauma Bonding and Breaking the Cycle with Coach Liz
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Overview:
In this deeply emotional and educational episode of the Get Trauma Informed Podcast, Coach Liz Blanding unpacks the painful reality of trauma bonding. This psychological and chemical attachment keeps survivors tied to abusive relationships even when they want to leave. Through compassion, truth, and faith-based insights, Liz helps listeners understand how to recognize the difference between real love and trauma-induced attachment.
Key Discussion Points:
💔 Understanding Trauma Bonding (0:00)
- Trauma bonding occurs through repeated cycles of abuse, apology, and reconciliation.
- The brain becomes conditioned to associate pain with comfort and fear with love.
- These emotional highs and lows create chemical bonds that mirror addiction.
💞 True Love vs. Trauma (2:11)
- True love aligns with 1 Corinthians 13—it is patient, kind, and never controlling or humiliating.
- Love should build your strength, not break your spirit.
- Real love honors boundaries, encourages peace, and supports your freedom.
🔁 The Cycle of Trauma Bonding (3:23)
- Abusers often begin with charm, gifts, or affection to create a deep sense of attachment.
- This is followed by emotional or physical abuse, then an apology or promise to change.
- The apology releases oxytocin (“the bonding hormone”), reinforcing the emotional tie and making it difficult to detach.
🛑 Breaking the Bond (4:29)
Coach Liz outlines three steps to break the cycle:
- Awareness – Identify and name the unhealthy pattern.
- Acceptance – Face the truth without denial or excuses.
- Courage – Choose to end the cycle, even when fear or hope tries to pull you back.
She reminds listeners that journaling, prayer, and supportive communities are powerful tools for rebuilding clarity and strength.
✨ Call to Action (7:35)
- Explore the Pathway to Trauma Recovery book and journal.
- Join the All Things Recovery community on Patreon for faith-based trauma recovery circles and guided healing.
- Remember: you do not have to untangle the trauma bond alone.
Final Message:
You are not bound to your pain. Love does not hurt, manipulate, or control. Love restores, uplifts, and heals.
Tagline:
We are recovering one breath at a time. Give yourself grace and stay fearless. Bye for now.
Support the show
Remember, Trauma was not your fault, your were collateral damage on someone else's warpath. Trauma was not your fault, however Recovery is your Responsibility. I am your host, Wellness Coach Liz Blanding, and this is The Get Trauma Informed Podcast.
Contact us at:
http://oasiswellnessctrs.com
https://oasiswellnessctrs.com/blog/blog
https://oasiswellnessctrs.com/contact
https://linktr.ee/dlblanding
https://www.lifewave.com/oasiswellnesscenters
View all episodes
By Wellness Coach Liz BlandingSend us a text
Overview:
In this deeply emotional and educational episode of the Get Trauma Informed Podcast, Coach Liz Blanding unpacks the painful reality of trauma bonding. This psychological and chemical attachment keeps survivors tied to abusive relationships even when they want to leave. Through compassion, truth, and faith-based insights, Liz helps listeners understand how to recognize the difference between real love and trauma-induced attachment.
Key Discussion Points:
💔 Understanding Trauma Bonding (0:00)
- Trauma bonding occurs through repeated cycles of abuse, apology, and reconciliation.
- The brain becomes conditioned to associate pain with comfort and fear with love.
- These emotional highs and lows create chemical bonds that mirror addiction.
💞 True Love vs. Trauma (2:11)
- True love aligns with 1 Corinthians 13—it is patient, kind, and never controlling or humiliating.
- Love should build your strength, not break your spirit.
- Real love honors boundaries, encourages peace, and supports your freedom.
🔁 The Cycle of Trauma Bonding (3:23)
- Abusers often begin with charm, gifts, or affection to create a deep sense of attachment.
- This is followed by emotional or physical abuse, then an apology or promise to change.
- The apology releases oxytocin (“the bonding hormone”), reinforcing the emotional tie and making it difficult to detach.
🛑 Breaking the Bond (4:29)
Coach Liz outlines three steps to break the cycle:
- Awareness – Identify and name the unhealthy pattern.
- Acceptance – Face the truth without denial or excuses.
- Courage – Choose to end the cycle, even when fear or hope tries to pull you back.
She reminds listeners that journaling, prayer, and supportive communities are powerful tools for rebuilding clarity and strength.
✨ Call to Action (7:35)
- Explore the Pathway to Trauma Recovery book and journal.
- Join the All Things Recovery community on Patreon for faith-based trauma recovery circles and guided healing.
- Remember: you do not have to untangle the trauma bond alone.
Final Message:
You are not bound to your pain. Love does not hurt, manipulate, or control. Love restores, uplifts, and heals.
Tagline:
We are recovering one breath at a time. Give yourself grace and stay fearless. Bye for now.
Support the show
Remember, Trauma was not your fault, your were collateral damage on someone else's warpath. Trauma was not your fault, however Recovery is your Responsibility. I am your host, Wellness Coach Liz Blanding, and this is The Get Trauma Informed Podcast.
Contact us at:
http://oasiswellnessctrs.com
https://oasiswellnessctrs.com/blog/blog
https://oasiswellnessctrs.com/contact
https://linktr.ee/dlblanding
https://www.lifewave.com/oasiswellnesscenters