In his Pennsylvania Senate debate with Republican nominee Dr. Oz, Democrat nominee John Fetterman completely fumbled his words.  Despite his poor performance, Fetterman mysteriously received over $1M HOURS after the debate.  Nothing suspicious here, folks!

The Phillies are back in the World Series again - is this a bad omen for the US economy?  Conspiracies abound are pointing out that, every time the Phillies won the World Series, the US economy spiraled into a depression.  The city has won three World Series titles, all in years prior to economic depressions:  one by the Athletics in 1929 and two by the Phillies, in 1980 and 2008.

Pope Francis exposes horny priests and nuns, admitting that they watch 'normal' porn too.  In his speech, Francis warned, "And I’m not just talking about criminal pornography like that involving the abuse of children, that is already degeneration. But pornography that is a little 'normal.'"  Wha wha wha what!?!?!

It's official -- Musk has taken over Twitter.  As he carried a sink while walking into the Twitter headquarters, Musk appeared giddy about the acquisition.  The same cannot be said for Twitter's employees, as the 'word on the street' is that Musk plans to cut 75% of the Twitter workforce.  If less Twitter workers means more free speech, more power to him.

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