Life Check Yourself

When Therapy Doesn't Work: How To Unlock Change Using The Solution Focused Approach to Transformation


Listen Later

Guest: Elliott Connie — psychotherapist, best-selling author, and global leader in Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT).

In this episode, Elliott breaks down how asking the right questions can create powerful shifts in healing, relationships, and life direction. With over 20 years of experience, he shows why focusing on strengths and desired outcomes leads to transformation faster than traditional models of therapy.

3 Powerful Takeaways
  1. The questions you ask shape your future.

  2. Change begins by focusing on outcomes, not problems.

  3. Lasting relationships thrive on reciprocity, not blame.

Main Topics

1. The Power of Empowering Questions (04:06 – 08:19) Instead of asking "Why are you here?" SFBT starts with "What are your best hopes from being here?" This reframes therapy from problem-focused to solution-oriented.

"A conversation about difference will lead towards differences. A conversation about problems will lead towards more problems."

2. The Three Life-Changing Questions (12:58 – 15:08) Elliott introduces three essential questions to break free from stuck patterns:

  • Who am I really?

  • What do I want?

  • Who do I need to become to achieve it? Writing these down sparks clarity and subconscious action toward change.

"You can't stay the same and expect things around you to get different."

3. Relationships and Reciprocity (24:22 – 28:51) The biggest mistake couples make is waiting for their partner to change first. Elliott emphasizes showing up differently yourself and trusting reciprocity to build momentum.

"Anytime you want something from your partner, that's actually an indicator you're not doing that for them."

✨ Notable Closing Insight: When trapped in the "someday" mindset, ask:

"Suppose your partner never changes, how would you notice yourself being your very best even then?"

Connections:

Visit us: MarniBattista.Com Ready To Create Your Corporate Escape Plan? Book A Call With MeTake the Quiz: Unlock the shocking truth about how your unique personality type is silently shaping your future Buy Your Radical Living Challenge: 7 Questions For Living The Meaningful LifeAbout Elliott ConnieChange Your Question, Change Your Future Family TherapyAha! Moments Podcast with Elliott Connie

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Life Check YourselfBy Marni Battista

  • 4.4
  • 4.4
  • 4.4
  • 4.4
  • 4.4

4.4

299 ratings


More shows like Life Check Yourself

View all
The Overwhelmed Brain by Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert

The Overwhelmed Brain

1,897 Listeners

The Mindset Mentor by Rob Dial

The Mindset Mentor

13,572 Listeners

The Model Health Show by Shawn Stevenson

The Model Health Show

7,264 Listeners

The School of Greatness by Lewis Howes

The School of Greatness

21,203 Listeners

Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman by Damona Hoffman - Dates and Mates Media

Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman

305 Listeners

The Love U Podcast with Evan Marc Katz by Evan Marc Katz

The Love U Podcast with Evan Marc Katz

569 Listeners

10% Happier with Dan Harris by 10% Happier

10% Happier with Dan Harris

12,713 Listeners

Oprah's Super Soul by Oprah

Oprah's Super Soul

31,857 Listeners

The Dr. Hyman Show by Dr. Mark Hyman

The Dr. Hyman Show

9,208 Listeners

Women of Impact by Impact Theory

Women of Impact

657 Listeners

On Purpose with Jay Shetty by iHeartPodcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

27,445 Listeners

The Trent Shelton Podcast by Trent Shelton Companies

The Trent Shelton Podcast

5,844 Listeners

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice by Dr. Morgan Anderson

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

1,142 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

19,771 Listeners

Love Strategies: Dating and Love Advice for Successful Women by Adam LoDolce and Dr. Gary Lewandowski

Love Strategies: Dating and Love Advice for Successful Women

648 Listeners