When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger

In the 1970s, parents relied on domestic animals to relay important safety messages to their children. Basically if you didn't have a cat you were doomed to set yourself on fire, drown or be abducted.        

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Despite how often stupid people like to tell us life was better in "the good old days," we apparently still needed terrifying mini horror movies to teach kids not to drown or get electrocuted for the sake of a cheap plastic frisbee.          

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It's that special time of year again, when irresponsible parents need a hand teaching their unruly kids not to enjoy fireworks. Don't hold them, don't approach them, don't even look at them!          

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We return to Mr Pipes' house to finish Ghostwatch, and to find out whether Craig Charles actually gets to do anything interesting.         

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It's October, so we've finally decided to face our fears and watch the infamous mockumentary about a ghost named after plumbing supplies. It's too scary for just one episode...       

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David Walliams wears a rubber wig and plays a rubbish AI elevator forcing young contestants to play Incredible Games, but there's only one good game, and it's been stolen from the Adventure Game.      

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A teenager is saddled with looking after younger kids, in the least exciting premise for a cartoon since that one about a weird blue thing that lives under a sink.     

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People with obscure jobs perform unhelpful mimes to demonstrate what they do to bored celebrities who get paid the same fee whether they guess correctly or not.   

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90s kids answer questions about films they probably shouldn't have seen, and take part in mini-games about films they probably shouldn't have seen.  

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In a world of fuzzy felt and imagination, an awful grinning puppet brings paintings to life and the paintings exact their horrifying revenge in the woods.

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TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling Additional musical contributions by R Gill