When You Love Your Child But Do Not Like The Hard Hours

The shame ADHD moms carry when exhaustion starts to feel like resentment

There are parts of motherhood we rarely admit out loud.

You can love your child deeply and still have afternoons when you do not enjoy being around them. You can understand why your child with ADHD is struggling and still feel hurt, irritated, resentful, or relieved when bedtime finally arrives.

Then the guilt starts.

In this episode, Lola talks honestly about the shame that can follow a difficult parenting moment. The argument may end, and your child may move on, while you are still replaying what happened and asking yourself what kind of mother feels this way.

This conversation is not about blaming your child or excusing harmful behavior. It is about recognizing that resentment can sometimes be a sign of depletion, not a lack of love.

Lola also shares the idea of the “second arrow.” The hard afternoon is painful enough. The second pain comes when you turn your frustration into proof that you are failing as a mother.

You will hear an honest conversation about:

* Loving your child while disliking the hardest hours

* Why resentment may appear when you have been carrying too much

* The guilt that remains after your child has moved on

* Understanding ADHD without accepting disrespectful behavior

* Holding boundaries without blaming yourself for the entire moment

* Repairing after you yell, snap, or respond differently than you wanted

* Paying attention to what the hard hours are taking out of you

* Recognizing when your family may need more support

Not enjoying every hour with your child does not erase your love for them. Sometimes love looks warm and connected. On other days, it looks like making dinner, holding a boundary, and getting everyone safely to bedtime.

Reflection

Take a quiet moment with these questions. You do not have to answer all of them today.

When resentment shows up, what has usually happened before it?

Are you reacting only to that moment, or are you carrying exhaustion from the rest of the day, week, or month?

Do you give yourself permission to need space, or do you keep pushing until your frustration comes out in your voice?

What part of the after-school or evening routine asks too much from you?

Is there one responsibility that can be simplified, delayed, shared, or removed?

When you make a mistake, can you apologize for your part without taking responsibility for the entire situation?

Most importantly, when was the last time someone asked how you were doing and stayed long enough to hear the real answer?

Resources Mentioned

From Chaos to Calm: A 30-Day Rescue Plan for ADHD Moms

A practical, compassionate guide for moms who feel exhausted by emotional storms, school struggles, repeated reminders, guilt, and the constant mental load of ADHD parenting.

Explore the From Chaos to Calm Guide

From Chaos to Calm in 30 Days: Workbook

A practical companion with reflection pages, reset exercises, planning tools, checklists, and space to notice patterns without carrying everything in your head.

Explore the From Chaos to Calm Workbook

Stay Connected

Continue the conversation and find more ADHD parenting support:

Website: Mom Parent ADHD

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YouTube: Watch and listen to Mom Parent ADHD videos and podcast episodes.

Community: Join the Mom Parent ADHD Skool community for practical tools, encouragement, and a place to connect with moms who understand the hard days.

If this episode gave words to something you have been carrying quietly, share it with another mom who may need to hear that difficult feelings do not erase deep love.

Important Note

This podcast shares personal experience and general educational information. It is not medical, mental health, educational, or legal advice. If your child’s behavior is unsafe, severe, or becoming difficult for your family to manage, please connect with a qualified professional who can consider your family’s full situation.

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