There are few universal human experiences as deeply embarrassing, unexpectedly dramatic, and spiritually humbling as the moment your body decides to produce sound in a room that is painfully, aggressively silent. Not the polite kind of silence either. Not background-noise silence. This is the kind of silence where you can hear your own thoughts breathing. The kind of silence where time slows down, fluorescent lights hum louder than they should, and your body chooses that exact moment to betray you.