Today we're talking about the slow, creeping horror of realizing that the things you once thought were cool…aren’t. Maybe you aged out of them. Maybe you matured. Maybe you moved zip codes and discovered that being “insanely busy" or “performatively confident” or a "relentless partier" doesn’t translate outside your original habitat. It’s the life clash of having to retire your old identity badges and admit that some of your personality was realistically a ... regional trend.

All that, plus we’re snacking on some AMERICAN-LY sweet (*wink, wink* — see our IG) treats as a form of cultural regression.