My son Lucas just turned 15, and I’m still catching my breath. He’s nonverbal, he has profound autism, and in my head he’s always been my “baby” — the kid with the same songs, the same books, and the same comfort routines. Then I look up and realize he has a mustache, he’s tall, and I’m standing there saying “go potty” like time hasn’t moved at all.

This week, I talk about what that moment brought up for me as his dad. I get into why I’ve always hated the “mental age” shortcut and why Lucas isn’t “really five” just because some parts of his life look younger to the outside world. He’s 15. He’s a teenage boy. And like everyone else, he’s fully himself.

I also talk about something that surprised me recently: Lucas’s receptive language. When I lost my voice, I learned pretty quickly that we can’t do life through pantomime alone, and that he understands far more than I sometimes stop to realize. It made me think about the words I use with him, the respect he deserves, and the reality that my little boy is growing into a young man.

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