Where Two Become One

No component of a long-term, romantic relationship is weightier than sex. Males and females come at this union from opposing ends of the same trail: males begin at sex and move toward relationship fulfillment; females begin at relationship and move toward sexual fulfillment. The idea is for both to enjoy both. In order for that to happen, each must understand where the other is coming from, have patience and compassion with the other's process, and hold fast in the knowing that both want the full experience.

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Christians who desire to keep commandments must find a way to love sinners, without loving sin. The internal struggle can be tricky. Tune in to hear my own experience with this task, and find out how Christ's journey models for us the internal, energy play needed to accomplish pull it off.

The third in a series of interviews expounding my book, The Grand Design, with Charles Zulanas IV.  

00:00 A brief summary of my book 

02:10 How I discovered this relationship pattern 

06:25 God is in me and in every other 

07:57 I can’t NOT see divine femininity in God’s interplay with humanity 

09:00 God is the advocate of all my adversaries 

13:35 Interdependence defined 

15:30 Applications of damnation 

19:23 Redefining submission 

20:30 The trial and error of seeking truth 

23:13 To the master of illusion, observation is the only enemy  

The Grand Design makes clear the pattern of every relationship in interdependent creation - marriage, parenting, friendship, self, politics, business, energy, material, etc. -  by shining attention on it in 3 areas important to me: sexual connection (procreation), social connection (self & other) and divine connection (the restored gospel of Jesus Christ).  

The Grand Design on Amazon: https://bit.ly/therelationshiptextbook 

Charles Zulanas IV: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charleszulanasIV

A trick to get unstuck, when you want something of your partner, but feel like you’re not getting anywhere.   

Transition your requests from labels to action.  

Often, when we want to make an alteration in the relationship routine, we seek to alter the behavior of our partner. Even though seeking to alter our own behavior is the most effective approach to moving the relationship forward, after we’ve personally achieved the willingness we want from our partner, it becomes a wonderful experience to make requests and have them fulfilled. Although we can never coerce their behavior, there is much we can do to influence it. If you’re struggling to influence your partner into a behavior that would make life more wonderful for you, perhaps your not offering specificity.  We’ll commonly make requests using labels, such as, “be more kind,” “love me,” or “don’t be like that!” When we use these labels, we know what we mean, but are you sure they know what you mean?  

Not usually.   

Words reference meaning we’ve attached to past moments. We use words like cars to transport the feelings we’ve associated with those past moments, in hopes of sharing those parts of ourself with our partner, for in sharing what’s alive in us, our joys are doubled and our pain is halved. We think of 2 or 3 specific experiences, and then put them in the car, and then drive it toward the one we want to know us. The problem is that once the car leaves your brain and enters the brain of your partner, 2 or 3 different experiences exit the car. The meaning that exits the car, or the word, once it enters the brain of the other, is from their past experience. They use that same word to reference other specific, observable incidents. Speaking of specific, commonly shared, neutral incidents, is the way to get through that.  

I believe that most people want to make or keep like wonderful for you. Most are drawn to meet a need once they see it. But Words are more often blockage points than transmission points in human communication. Seeing a need is often harder than meeting a need.   

Transitioning your requests from timeless labels to time-bound action generates real-time love. 

Actionable requests force your relationship into the present moment, while timeless labels send your relationship into the ever-ache of past disappointments and future expectations . The saddest outcome of using labels in your requests, instead of specific actions, is that the one you want to move forward with CAN never know what he or she could have done to stay with you. Their brain simply unpacks different meaning from all the labels you’ve offered.  

I’d love to hear about your success, so drop me a note or send me a voice message. You can do that through Anchor.fm.

How can the knowledge of a universal relationship pattern help your relationships? 

The second in a series of interviews expounding my book, The Grand Design, with Charles Zulanas IV.

The Grand Design makes clear the pattern of every relationship in interdependent creation - marriage, parenting, friendship, self, politics, business, energy, material, etc. - by shining attention on it in 3 areas important to me: sexual connection (procreation), social connection (self & other) and divine connection (the restored gospel of Jesus Christ).

00:00 What ABBA means to me (father, chiasmus, bodily experience)

09:20 The more awareness we have of how things operate, the better positioned we are to engineer, by intention, how things operate

12:40 Meekness is magnetic

15:10 When the elements obey with delight

16:15 The only sustainable tyranny

17:50 Eternal life: when needs find resources, in perpetuity

18:06 Jesus + disciples = win, win, win, etc.

20:15 The only way to keep a relationship sustainable is to make it a win-win

The Grand Design on Amazon:

https://bit.ly/therelationshiptextbook

interviewer:

Charles Zulanas IV:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/charleszu...

From the moment of the Grand Council in pre-mortality, every moment can be seen from multiple perspectives. This authors choice. The choice 2/3 of us made then must still be made. 

more about Markers A (masculine) and B (feminine): https://bit.ly/the-grand-design-book

shirts that make you go, Hmmmm : https://bit.ly/zeconsciousclothing

relationshipconsultingservices.com

00:00 A brief summary of The Grand Design

02:10 How I discovered this relationship pattern

07:57 I can’t NOT see divine femininity in God’s interplay with humanity

09:00 God is the advocate of all your adversaries

13:35 Interdependence defined

15:30 Applications of damnation

19:23 Redefining submission

20:30 The trial and error of seeking truth

23:13 To the master of illusion, observation is the only enemy

It's so easy to confuse masculinity with maleness, and femininity with being female. But masculinity and femininity are principles, and anyone can act on them. Listen to learn more.

Learn more about the universal relationship pattern: http://bit.ly/the-grand-design-book

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