Whiskey Wednesday Podcast

You know that we are crazy for the Swayze, but when you add in John Wick, Gary Busey, and the gal from A League of Their Own?  Baby you've got yourself a stew going.  Tommy and Thomas break down this gem of a film.  Tommy is a Point Break stan, Thomas was a detractor but has since converted to the good word.  We talk bank robberies, beach full tackle football games, ACL reconstruction, drinking in an open office environment, dick bosses, weird gurus, Tom Sizemore, and most importantly all the 50 year storms coming your way.  Sit back, relax, and drink in a movie that is 35% surfing stunt man sizzle reels.

Robits versus Big Old Monsters!!  We got Jax Teller drifting with anyone really, more importantly we got some Idris Elba speeching it up.  This movie is dumb but my god it's so much fucking fun.  Tim and Thomas (with a guest!) have a blast breaking down a very funny, very flashy disaster movie.  It's a solid choice where things made an equal amounts of sense and zero sense.  Listen to this one, we were on our game.

I don’t know what to say, really. 102 minutes of the biggest battle of our podcast lives all comes down to today. Now either we heal as a podcast or we’re gonna crumble, inch by inch, play by play, 'til we’re finished.

We’re in hell right now, gentlemen, believe me. And, we can stay here -- get the shit kicked out of us -- or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell one inch at a time.

Now, I can’t do it for you. I’m too old. I look around. I see these young unknown action stars, and I think -- I mean -- I made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who’s ever loved me. And lately, I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know, when you get old in life things get taken from you. I mean that's...part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out life’s this game of inches. So is podcasting. Because in either game, life or podcasting, the margin for error is so small -- I mean one-half a step too late, or too early, and you don’t quite understand what the fuck Nic Cage is doing. One-half second too slow, too fast, you don’t understand why this movie was made.

The movies we need are everywhere around us.

They’re in every break of life, every minute, every second.

On this podcast, we fight for that inch. On this podcast, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch, because we know when we add up all those inches that’s gonna make the fuckin' difference between winning and losing! Between livin' and watching shitty Nic Cage movies!

I’ll tell you this: In any fight, it’s the guy who’s willing to die against an amorphous predator look-alike who’s gonna win that inch. And I know if I’m gonna have any life anymore, it’s because I’m still willin' to face CGI shuriken and die in a weird first person dutch angle shot. Because that’s what livin' is! The six inches in front of your face!! That's where there's a camera filming you as you react to nothingness!

Now I can’t make you do it. You got to look at the guy next to you. Look into his eyes! Now I think you’re gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you. You're gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this podcast because he knows, when it comes down to it, you’re gonna do the same for him!

That’s a podcast, gentleman!

And, either we heal, now, as a podcast, or we will die as individuals.

That’s action movie podcasts guys.

That's all it is.

Now, what are you gonna do?!

There are twins, they're named Chad and Alex.  Chad is a Paris/LA guy who is flexible and proclaims to have a huge surprise.  Alex head butts people whilst smoking stogies.  Terrible green screen is aplenty in this movie along with the normal action tropes of guns that don't need to be reloading, lesbian panic, mustaches, evil brits, and penthouse models.  This was a fairly average movie to watch but we found plenty to talk about.  BEWARE: there are several 15 minute tangents in here.

Buckle up for the experience that is Gino Folino (I may have spelled that wrong).  This is a story of revenge, vengeance, shifting accents, plot holes, the destruction of car suspensions, cleavers, and cracked orbital bones due to cue balls.  We discussed where in the world is Richie, prostitution police codes, mid 80s sedans, animal safety, weird animal naming, fatherly disappointment and knife sharpening, but most of all Seagal's possible bipolar-ness.  This was a wild ride, a lot of fun, and endlessly discussable.

It's easy to forget sometimes that not all action movies are made for the good old US of A.  This week's cinematic masterpiece was clearly targeting toward eastern and southeastern Asian market.  We've got Tony Jaa (Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior, Fast and Furious 7), Iko Uwais (The Raid and The Raid: Redemption), Tiger Hu Chen (Matrix Reloaded, Matrix Revolutions, John Wick 3, Scott Adkins (Expendables 2, Doctor Strange), and Michael Jai White (Black Dynamite, Spawn, The Dark Knight) all kicking ass in a symphony of fights and gun play.  Made on a fairly modest budget, we see mostly practical effects that look great, especially the robust amount of squibs.  The martial arts are a steady escalation of awesomeness.  The plot is...there.  Lots to like in this one, rent or buy this on Amazon.  You shan't regret it.

We gathered up again with all 5 hosts for a night of revelry and mutually assured jackassery.  Our whiskey was A Fistful of Bourbon which was somewhat divisive among our group. We drank two great beers: Perennial Artisan Ales Savant Beer 2017 and Cascade Brewing Peche Fume 2017.  Other topics discussed include: Box office busts, Hunger Games Dream Team, Eraser 2, Sandra Bullock, Japanese Lace Boxer Briefs for men, and a truly ridiculous triumvirate of stories about women whom love inanimate objects...in increasing levels of awkwardness...but good for them?  We also have questions for the room and a check in on what notable wrestlers have passed since we last met.It was loud.  It was fun.  It was nonsense.  It was an O.G. Whiskey Wednesday.

Do you like bazookas and I mean REALLY like bazookas?  Well this is the movie for you.  Chuck Norris stars as Matt Hunter, retired CIA agent and America's only hope when his soviet arch nemesis bands all of America's enemies together (not dissimilar to Mance Rayder in GoT) to take of the US of A.  The invasion never really leaves south florida but according to the news, the entire democracy is teetering on the knife's edge...thank your lucky stars that Chuck is there to brave all sorts of dangers: Racist bars, fan boat assassins, grocery store riots, reporters, just driving down the street, fake military police, and rocket launcher duels all to save the US (or at least Miami) from falling into anarchy.Also, Chuck has a pet armadillo in this movie...I don't know what to do with that, just going to leave it here.

Another round of Sean Connery, mercifully he is wearing more clothes than he was in Zardoz.  This is a movie we didn't know about going in.  A sort of murder mystery/drug police story or Io, a moon of Jupiter.  Sean Connery stars as the sawed off shotgun wielding marshal of a corporate mining colony.  He must solve a series of deaths and eventually realizes that the corporation isn't (GASP!) trustworthy.  We get loads of shotguns, star wars rip offs, Sean Connery running pretty well, keycards, body bags, weird red drugs, Cliff from Cheers, General Orlov from Octopussy, and a finale battle on the side of a pyramid on the 3rd moon largest moon of Jupiter.  The stakes couldn't be any more medium, join us as Sean Connery skirts regulations to bring justice to an non-OSHA compliant mining facility in space.Also in Danish, this movie was called "Rumstation Jupiter"...so great.

We discuss the 4th worst movie ever, Tommy and Erik loved it.  Thomas and Katie were based in reality, you tell me who's crazy.  Sly Stallone stars in this film that has a kick ass 1st act, but stalls in the middle before a relative benign 3rd act.  John Lithgow has a hard to place and crazy accent that we were obsessed with.  I spent most of the podcast doing a mediocre to passable Sly impression, it's not great.  Join us won't you for a meandering conversation about the 2nd best 1993 movie from Sly Stallone.