Col. Chris Hadfield is an amazing guy, and in his book, An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth, he describes getting ready. He's always getting ready. He started getting ready to be an astronaut at 9 years old after seeing the moon landing. What I found so interesting is Canada didn't even have a space program.

Col. Hadfield lived the life an astronaut would have lived and put himself in the best possible position for success. If he didn't make it, he still lived a great life. Enjoying the journey is key (actually his wife enabled his journey all the way).

Col. Hadfield is a guy who prepares, who gets ready. That's who he really is.  Who are you?

I'm a big believer in identity. Who we think we are determines how we live, and how authentic we feel, and dare I say how happy we can be? Some labels are static, like "I'm the boss." or "I'm a top performer." or "I'm a vegan."  Some labels are unspoken, like "I always win." or simply "I'm not that type of guy." When these static labels break, we suddenly find out we aren't who we've always thought we were. This cognitive dissidence, this break in who we are causes a lot of stress and confusion. We can become bitter or desperate.  On the mild end, we are distraught when we receive criticism or find ourselves in a slump - unable to fight our way out.

Jane McGonigal, in her book Superbetter, introduced me to the idea of fixed versus growth mindsets. A fixed mindset is like my kid thinking they are smart and always know the answer. When she got to a question that was tough, she'd fall apart and struggle because that's not who she is. Now we use a growth mindset and talk about how hard she works and how she's the one that asks for help early and keeps going until she finds the answer. You'd be shocked in the difference this had made in her life.

Again, I wonder, who am I? I am a learner. I am someone who is always looking for a solution. I have a deep willingness to prepare. Faith in who I am has come from years of experience. The labels can’t break. The labels get stronger as I continue to seek and find.

What about you? Are you trying to live up to a fixed label that can break?