What happens when you near the end of life? What questions do you find yourself asking. This is what I'm leaning into today and it comes on the heels of James Van Der Beek's death who died of colorectal cancer in February 2026. In the last video before he died, he shares the question he has been asking himself, "Who am I? What am I?"

In the video he said, "I am worthy of God's life simply because I exist and if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I be worthy of my own? And the same is true is for you."

Links from this episode:

My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

James Van Der Beek video

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s paradoxes — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

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