Who are you?

As a teenager living in the suburbs of Brisbane, Casey McMurtrie enjoyed a fairly normal, happy upbringing living with her parents, her two younger brothers, and her grandmother being a constant presence. She had plenty of friends, did well at school, and had plans to study, work and travel.

While of Aboriginal descent, Casey’s family never talked much about her ancestry and culture, and she never inquired too much about where they came from.

Until one day, as a 19 year old, a family member let slip a secret that would cause Casey to re-think her whole sense of identity. This moment would send her on a journey of many years as she pieced together her heritage, her culture, her connection to country, and developed a strong, proud Aboriginal identity that is core to the incredible work she does today with young Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

Imagine you’re a young woman in your late twenties, planning your wedding with your fiancé, and enjoying life with your friends and family. You’ve grown up in a traditional Italian family, with strong values around marriage and family, and you’re excited about the prospect of being married and eventually being a mum.

Then imagine that just five months into your marriage, your husband reveals a secret that blows everything apart, and before you know it, you’re on the path to divorce.

How would you react? How would that make you feel about everything you thought you were, and everything you thought you wanted?

Well today’s guest, Lisa-Marie Vecchio, shares an incredible story that shows that divorce can be the catalyst for not only questioning your thought processes and values, but importantly it can make your sense of self clearer, and more focused on who you are and what you really want in life. 

Imagine you’re a four year old little boy, living in suburbia with your mum and two brothers. With your dad out of the picture, your mum eventually remarries. But happiness is very short-lived - your new stepfather is physically and verbally abusive, and as your family is in a fundamentalist Christian Church, there is no help, and nobody you can turn to.

To make matters worse, when you’re a teenager you realise you’re gay - something that is expressly forbidden in your Church. For years you keep this secret to yourself, convinced you are less than worthy, and consumed with shame.

Well for today’s guest, Josh Nixon, this was his experience. Growing up in the Jehova’s Witness church, he was socially isolated, living every day in fear of his stepfather, and in fear of what the Church would do if they found out he was gay.

Josh eventually had the courage to leave the church and accept and embrace who he was as a person, but not without a great deal of struggle and strength. In today’s episode, Josh provides insight into what life was like growing up in the Church, how the abuse was tolerated, and how he eventually was able to leave the church and come out to his family and friends.

Please note, this episode does discuss family violence, and thoughts of suicide. If you need support, please reach out to these support groups:

• For support with experiences of domestic and family violence, please contact 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit their website.
• For support with mental health concerns, consider calling Lifelife Australia on 13 11 14

For the last two weeks we’ve been hearing stories from some incredible humans. And while we will continue to tell these stories, I want to  make sure we look deeper into how experiences like these impact us as humans, and our sense of self. 

So in today’s episode, I talk with Psychologist Amy Kate Isaacs, as we unpack some of the key themes from these stories. Amy Kate and her team will be back every few weeks to help explain the psychology behind these experiences, and what happens in our brains and our behaviours when we’re processing the world around us.

This isn’t about a diagnosis of any of our podcast guests! I want to make that clear. What it is about is using these stories as examples of what so many of us go through, and using a professional view to help us understand these themes and what that looks like for us humans. 

As the owner of The Mindful Collective, Amy Kate practices as a Developmental Psychologist from The Mindful Collective Studio in Paddington, inspiring mindful and compassionate change alongside the TMC team and women’s-health focused businesses. 

In her not-so-spare time Amy Kate also supervises budding psychologists from the University of Queensland as an Adjunct Lecturer, is a Board Director for ALLKND (also known as GRLKND) and is the Co-Founder of Brain Pilot with Milly Bannister. 

As a curious human, Amy Kate is also studying her second Masters, this time in the Science of Medicine (Sexual and Reproductive Health) to become a Sexologist. She invites people to join her collective in whatever capacity nourishes your soul – whether that be through your socials, events, workshops or one-on-one therapy. You can find out more about them at themindfulcollective.co and you can find them on Instagram at @themindfulcollective. 

In today’s episode, we talk about we process grief, and the best way to support people in a really meaningful way who are experiencing grief. We also look at the different types of grief and what we know about how our brains work during a grief experience.

During the episode, Amy Kate references understanding how values play a part in processing grief, and supporting those who are grieving. She’s kindly shared her values finder, which you can access here.

Please note - this episode does mention not only grief, but an experience of sexual assault. If any of these discussions impact you in any way, please consider seeking support. 

You can contact 1800 RESPECT for support for sexual assault, or contact Griefline to talk to someone about your experience of grief.

If you were 18 years old and just found out, purely by accident, that you had an older sibling that you’d never met, how would you react?

Well today’s guest, Tammy Siddons, lived that experience, which kicked off many years of exploring her place in her family, and how to build a relationship with the sister she never knew she had.

But Tammy’s story doesn’t end there… in her adult years, she made an incredible sacrifice to save the life of a child. But the ramifications of that decision had long-last impacts, and the end result of that choice was a tragedy no-one expected.

Through Tammy’s story you’ll hear about the heartache she’s endured, but it’s a testament to the strength of her spirit, and how her sense of self has evolved over time. 

If this episode raised any concerns with you about dealing with grief, please consider contacting GriefLine.

For more information about kidney disease and organ donation:

• Kidney Health Australia
• Donate Life

Imagine you’ve sent your child off on the adventure of a lifetime - living and working in London, travelling Europe, meeting new friends and exploring new places.

Then you receive news that changes everything. The unimaginable has happened, your child is missing, potentially murdered in a terrorist attack.

That nightmare became a reality for Queensland couple Julie and Mark Wallace when their daughter, Sara, was tragically killed in the London terror attacks in 2017

Understandably, this event changed everything for the couple. 

But before this tragedy struck, Julie had already been on a life-long journey of personal discovery. From a dysfunctional, violent home life as a young girl, to an intrepid traveller, and an ill-fated marriage to a drug dealer, multiple business ventures, and everything in between, Julie’s resilience and incredible work ethic were already in motion.

In today’s episode, we follow Julie’s life from her childhood in Dandenong, Victoria, to where she is today, with her husband Mark building an incredible support service for those who have suffered trauma, in memory of their daughter.

If you'd like to learn more about their work, visit https://sarzsanctuary.com/ and you can also find Sarz Sanctuary on Instagram and Facebook.

And if this episode has raised concerns for you about your own grief, please consider contacting GriefLine. Additionally, this podcast also involves discussion of domestic violence. If this impacts you in any way, please consider contacting 1800Respect.