Think about it: you’ve never met a person that plays tennis. Seriously. Never. If you think you have: the government planted those memories into your brain and hired actors to play the parts of your friends so they can keep the myth of tennis alive. Your friends aren’t real, and neither is tennis. But if you’re telling us that that’s crazy because YOU play tennis... then we’ve got some bad news for you...

Why do people get so hyped up about pizza crust? It's bread. It's deadass just bread. Bread is great, but Alex still finds this crazy. This whole episode is crazy. Go listen to it, then come back here and call us crazy. We also have a special guest star: Ray! He's crazy too, he fits right in.

Content warning - somehow more graphic than our usual. This episode was a train wreck that truly had it all. Smushed cakes, vertical hotdogs, drowning goats, 90's themed philosophical quandaries, time travel theories, and 5 letter knuckle tattoos. Buckle up!

Ladies—here’s a secret the guys don’t want you to know. All guys have accidentally punched themselves in the nuts trying to undo their socks. Maybe just once. Maybe an immeasurable number of times. Who’s to say?

Just remember: Santa Christ died for your sins as well as your Christmas gifts. All Jesus Claus does is party during the holiday season with his lesser known brother—Jesus Claws. There’s a big difference.

We've never done a triathlon or tried throwing a shot put. Hell, I've never even played Rock, Paper, Scissors with my left hand! But damnit, for you guys, we're going to try.

Fellas? Fellas. If your significant other can't say "Papa John's" with their eyes, leave them now. Your relationship is destined to fail.

Okay so apparently Alex doesn't like fuzzy socks. Comment "wtf" if you now hate Alex. Also, happy holidays!