Spoilers! We’re discussing River Song’s timeline as best we see it. We don’t have any spreadsheets, calculus, or alcohol but we do have aspirin, a sense of humor, and special guest Nate from Temple of Geek.
We’ll cover her birth on Demons’ Run to her afterlife in CAL’s hard drive, while trying to make sense of everything in between. Her early life as Mels where she slowly guided her parents to be together. The later years as both an Archeologist and Doctor. And her life with three regenerations of The Doctor (or is it four?).
Episode order;
-The Almost People (worth mentioning the idea of Gangers) – Amy is pregnant but not with Team Tardis
-A Christmas Carol – Amy and Rory’s honeymoon
-The Big Bang – the wedding of Amy and Rory 2010
-A Good Man Goes to War – Melody born on Demon’s Run, taken to an orphanage with Renfrew
-The Impossible Astronaut – toddler in spacesuit 1969
-Day of the Moon – we see young Melody in the orphanage, first time she kisses the Doctor (POV), she was left in NY and got sick, at the end toddler regenerates, finds her way back to the UK
-Let’s Kill Hitler – Mels in school then regenerates into the River we know, the Doctor gives her the Tardis diary
-Closing Time – put River in the astronaut suit, trained by the Silence to kill the Doctor
-The Wedding of River Song – she can’t kill the Doctor so time gets messed up and everything happens at once, marries the Doctor and learns his name (but he really tells her he faked his own death)
-A Good Man Goes to War (again) – telling Amy and Rory who she is
-The Impossible Astronaut – at the end River wants to study archeology at the Luna University 5123
-The Pandorica Opens – River gets the vortex manipulator from Dorium, gets the Van Gogh painting, and writing the coordinates into a cliff at the dawn of time
-The Big Bang – River appears after the wedding to the Doctor before Amy and Rory get into the Tardis. Gives Amy the diary so she could remember the Doctor back into existence
-The Time of Angels – 51st century, says she has pictures of all your faces
-Flesh and Stone
-The Wedding of River Song (again for the tea chat) – Rivers just left the Byzantium
-The Angels Take Manhattan – she was pardoned from prison because the Doctor erased himself from every record
-The Husbands of River Song – 24 years is 1 night on Dyrilium, she gets the screwdriver
-Silence in the Library – mentions the Byzantium
-Forest of the Dead
-The Name of the Doctor – in a dream conference call with the Paternoster Gang, telling Vastra to coordinates to the Doctor’s tomb
