How To Structure Your Offers so Everybody is confused & absolutely nobody buys from you.
I have promised this post and I WILL NOT fail to deliver!!!
Have you been wondering how to confuse the fuck out of people into not making a buying decision?
I know you have...
So I have compiled decades of data and blew nearly 5 million dollars to create this formula to make sure nobody will buy from you.
Here is my Foolproof list!
🍠 1) Label Yourself Something where nobody knows what the fuck you do or how you can solve their problems.
Relationship Coach?
Business Mentor?
HAH! don't be so boring. You're far too creative and intelligent for clients to figure out how you can help or serve them. Plus Coach is an evil word!!!!
If you want to seem smarter, broker and confused as a video game avatar try this:
Unicorn Priestess
Mermaid Slayer
King Ballz
Lion King
Basically find something fancy then add an animal or mythical creature in the name. Then people will be way too focused on wondering what type of drug you're on rather than paying you.
🍠2) Create headlines on your sales page as vague as possible.
Why do something stupid like state an actual problem you solve?
The better strategy is to throw a bunch of general bullshit at the wall and hope something sticks!
Instead of "Go from heartbreak to finding the relationships of your dreams"
Try this.... "Be happier and make the world seem brighter by obtaining more fluffy success whatever you define as success"
Why be certain with your headlines when you can have people define them for themselves? That way they can ponder and wonder if you're the actual person for them!
🍠3) Make sure that your program does EVERYTHING!!!!!
Add 15 Bonuses
Do a back flip!!!
list a bunch of vague shit that has no rhyme or reason because maybe just maybe you'll list somethign they want!
Examples...
1. Make more money
2. learn to meditate faster
3. Learn to train elephants
4. eat 15 hotdogs in 2 minutes!
5. get 6 pack abs!
You just want to list as many random benefits as possible because you dont want to miss out. Maybe a person wants you to help them make more money but they also need to win a hotdog eating competition. YOU NEVER FUCKING KNOW!!!!
Don't chance it by not randomly throwing it on your sales page!
🍠 4) THROW IN ALL OF THE BONUSES!!!!!!
I KNOW I SAID THIS BUT I MUST EMPHASIZE ON THE IMPORTANCE OF BONUSES!!!
THROW IN 15 BONUSES SO THEY KNOW YOUR PROGRAM IS SUPER VALUABLE.
🍠 5) YO YO PRICES!!!!!
Don't be consistent with your prices or somebody might actually plan it in their budget and actually buy from you.
Is your program $1000 today?
PRICE SLASH THAT BITCH TO $15 AND TELL THEM ITS BECAUSE YOURE SUPER GENEROUS AND HAVE A BIG HEART.
Then do one session with one client and GO BACK TO DELCARING YOURSELF AS THE LUXURY COACH YOU ARE AND PRICE THAT BITCH TO 15K!!!!!!!
🍠 6) THE JAY-Z BLACK ALBUM METHOD.
Announce to your social media that you're QUITTING COACHING. You are ONLY taking on 5 CLIENTS AND YOU WILL QUIT FOREVER AND EVER!!!!
Then start selling Water Filtration and Crypto Currencies.
When that doesn't work....
OPEN UP YOUR COACHING BUSINESS AGAIN WITH THE SAME FALSE SCARCITY!!!!
EVERYBODY LOVES A GOOD COMEBACK STORY!!!!
P.S -
30 Days Of That Rebel Flow
2 1:1 Calls With me
30 Days Of Support
Bonus Access to Fuck Being Normal ($500 value)
https://spiritualsmartassery8.lpages.co/rebel/
is Only $1111 until January 1st!
Then I will raise the price to 1.5K
Then I will quit coaching!
Then I will charge 15K!!!
So get it now!!!
but in all seriousness I will be raising the prices coming 2019 and would love to have you on board <3
https://spiritualsmartassery8.lpages.co/rebel/
