There’s something deeply powerful about a man who has done his inner work. Not just a man who has knowledge, not just one who has a title, but a man who has actually faced himself and let God touch the hidden places. This is the kind of man others will follow. Not because he demands authority, but because he carries it. Not because he tells people what to do, but because he’s actually lived what he’s teaching. And that’s the whole point of this journey into mentorship; you can’t lead from a place of pretending. You have to lead from a place of wholeness. A place where healing has already begun. A place where you’ve stopped hiding.

Now, the truth is, some leaders today aren’t untrained; they’re unhealed. And this is far more dangerous than we realize. Because when a leader doesn’t do the inner work, their pain becomes part of the culture. Their brokenness gets duplicated. I’ve seen this happen in toxic movements and church systems where a leader has an unhealed wound; maybe it’s bitterness, judgment, shame, or insecurity; and without even realizing it, everyone around them starts sounding just like them. Their offense becomes the team’s offense. Their pride becomes the team’s language. That’s not leadership. That's a spiritual infection. That’s why inner healing isn’t optional for mentors; it’s foundational.

And this brings us to two very different views of leadership. One says leadership is about control, authority, and barking orders. It’s top-down. It’s built on a title. You salute the rank, not the person. This model might work in the military, but when it comes to healing, relationships, and transformation; it fails. Because people don’t heal through control. They heal through connection. The other model, which I believe reflects the way of Jesus, is not top-down at all. Imagine taking that leadership pyramid and laying it flat. Now the leader isn’t above; he’s in front. He’s walking the path. He’s a few steps ahead, and because of that, he’s able to guide others forward. Not from a place of dominance, but from a place of experience. And experience matters.

To lead someone means you’re not standing still. You’re moving. You’re growing. You’re walking the path. And if you’re walking the path, it means you’ve had to internalize the message you want others to hear. You’ve had to experience the transformation you want others to have. This is why we say the mentor always goes first. That’s why they’re called a leader; because they’re ahead. Not better. Not more valuable. But ahead. That means if you’re in the same place as someone else, you’re a peer. And that’s fine; peer relationships are valuable. But what we’re talking about here is mobilizing the mature to mentor. That’s different. That’s calling people who have healed to now help others heal. That’s the path.

Now let’s be honest; knowing more doesn’t make you a good mentor. Becoming more does. Reading books won’t replace actually doing the work. Being able to explain theology won’t replace living in healing. If you’re trying to lead others into freedom that you haven’t yet received, you’ll end up frustrated. And so will they. Because something won’t feel right. Something will be missing. And that something is truth. It’s integrity. It’s the authority that only comes from living what you say.

So how does this affect your relationship with God and others? Well, if you try to lead from logic alone; teaching only from your head, not your heart; you’ll feel disconnected from God. You’ll talk about healing, but not experience it. You’ll study transformation, but not walk in it. And eventually, you’ll get tired. You’ll get burned out. Because you can only fake it for so long. That’s why Jesus warned about the blind leading the blind. He wasn’t talking about ignorance; He was talking about people trying to lead others without healing themselves. And when that happens, both fall into a ditch.