Who's Piloting this Podcast?

Monkeys in dresses, the plural of Cyclops, an improbable glass bus, space incest, and gender inequality all emerge as themes in the unaired pilot for "Lost in Space"! Join us as we dive into the awesome future world of 1997 as seen through the lens of 1965's "Master of Disaster", Irwin Allen. Before the flailing robot existed, before Dr. Zachary Smith was a character, before "Danger Will Robinson" was ever uttered, CBS launched the Robinsons into the outer worlds and flew the Gemini 12 directly into a field of asteroids, promptly losing the most expensive science experiment ever created by Man.

The Booze Raccoons (James, Gretchen, Alex, Dave, and Judith) reassemble to review the awful unaired pilot of the seminal TV show and discuss the ridiculous episode in our living room on Alex's birthday. Alex announces his new podcast, "Nuking Aliens", a still unreleased project he's been working on for 83 episodes, without releasing a single show. Dave assassinates the engineering choices of the Robinson Family's space car boat. Judith hates all over the space monkey. Gretchen keeps talking about crinkly avocado boobs for some reason, and James stumbles over words normal humans can utter with perfection.

Strap your jetpacks on, Penny rode a space turtle into the jungle again!

2020. It was the worst of times and also the worst of times. Like many others out there, Gretchen and James decided it would be a good idea to start a podcast about something no one cares about so that no one would listen to us. Several beers later, they produced 13 episodes of miserable content to the delight of our three regular listeners. Here we have a full retrospective of our first year where we share the hardships, failures, and all the lack of talent that we poured into each episode. 

Hot off our exploration of Beverly Hills 90210, we crack open a Hop Camo IPA from Old Ox brewing in Ashburn Virginia and dive headfirst into the surprisingly pedestrian pilot for Melrose Place. We explore our first ONE STAR review and get a little petty about it. Pizzeria chips, 90210 cross-overs, proper technique to AC Slater a motorcycle, and Gretchen goes all one-take crazy with her voice-overs.

Guess what folks, the world is a weird place and we are looking forward to carving out a tiny little space for you and me to curl up and cry until we can form our own militia where we run around throwing baked goods at each other. Also, I remember this one time when we had the most epic dirt-clod fight on this construction area and every once in a while you'd get hit by a chunk of dirt that had a rock inside it, and it would totally ring your bell. I don't know what other people did, but I took my allowance up to the 7-11 and bought a jumbo bag of cheese popcorn and a half a gallon of chocolate milk. The whole milk, not the yuppy 1% shit that they sell these days. Anyway, I sat there next to a tree and drank half a gallon of chocolate milk while devouring a whole bag of cheese popcorn and that was my life for a summer.

So, I mean, in retrospect, COVID. Am I right or am I right?

Bike shorts under bike shorts. Broaches everywhere. Nose jobs. Overzealous chemistry teachers. Rex Manning. 

Beverly Hills, 90210 saved Fox Broadcasting from the dumpster fire of history, giving it just enough life to become the dumpster fire of journalism. Join us as we explore the pilot episode that gave the world Jason Priestly, Shannen Doherty, Ian Ziering, Brian Austin Green, Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth, and who cares who else. It's Beverly Hills! Valet your bullshit car and get on with it!!

Look what's happened to me. I can't believe it myself.  

Gretchen and James drink a "Fear. Movies. Lions." from Stone brewing while watching the completely amazing 1981 classic, The Greatest American Hero, starring Bill Katt, Robert Culp, and Connie Sellicca. With an extra long tunic to cover that peen, Ralph makes everyone want a man-perm. Join us as we put one toe into the superhero wasteland.

At the dawn of the 1980’s, the toy company Mattel began actively developing new content to drive sales after regrettably passing on the Star Wars franchise. Mattel marketing director Mark Ellis brought a new line centered around a sword and sorcery barbarian fantasy world to the executives at Toys R Us.

His presentation included a complete line of toys along with a mock-up for a comic series created by DC Comics. But when one of the retail executives retorted “Five year olds don’t read”, Ellis quickly replied “Did I tell you about the two one hour TV specials we are running?”

The cartoons were a bluff, and didn’t exist, but a quick partnership with Filmation studios launched a cartoon alongside the toy line. The cartoon ran for 130 episodes and also produced a comic book series, a feature film, a spin-off called She Ra, two reboots, and over a billion dollars in sales.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are talking about He-Man and the Masters of the Universe!

In this episode, we debate the finer details of Eternian geography, name-drop several friends without permission, invent a banger of a club-hit, and down some beers while reminiscing over plastic barbarian toys from 1983.

Beers in this episode include Clown Shoes and a Commonwealth/Aslin collaboration: IPA #13.

Also, please be sure to watch Gretchen's Drunk History episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hog0vC23LZI

Join us for the 1990's revival of the 1965 gameshow Supermarket Sweep! 

Contestants answer dumb trivia questions in order to earn time for a shopping spree where they embody the sprit of American excess by buying five of the most expensive everything in the grocery store. Hams? Check! Turkeys? Check! Diapers? Check! Formula? Check! Tons and tons of aspirin? Why not!

Gretchen starts out the show a couple of sheets to the wind and finishes in hammer town, leading us through her general outrage and boisterous exuberance. James attempts to keep the train on the rails, but lets a few crashes happen here and there. At the end, we learn nothing, but have a decent time getting there.

What happens when you watch a relatively pedantic and boring sitcom and then try to talk about it? You produce a relatively pedantic and boring podcast! Come join us as we discuss the first episode of the classic situation comedy: Family Ties. In this episode, we discover the magic of Michael J. Fox, stumble though a few facts and bits of trivia, and generally phone it in.

Two pinko-commie parents raise a young republican son who loves capitalism and white supremacy, and a daughter who just wants to own fun clothes while floating through life. There's a third child also, she'll probably grow up to be a roller girl or an anti-vaxer just to try and carve out some semblance of a personality while being continuously overshadowed by her much more interesting siblings. Family Ties tells the story of the Keytons as they navigate the tough choices presented by overwhelming white privilege, and reconcile the hippie ideals they abandoned but occasionally try to force upon their children when useful for a plot-point. 

Guys, here's what happens when you take two full weeks off of your podcast - you come back with a special JUMBO episode clocking in at 71 minutes! For this episode, we are joined by the legendary @boozeraccoons crew for our first ever tele-podcast crossover episode. Zooming in from across America, we discuss the premiere episode of "My So Called Life" and discuss the impacts upon both society and television.

Gretchen connects with the pilot and finds herself in two very distinct characters. James expresses pleased ambivalence over the show as he fails to identify with a 15 year old girl. Alex aggressively sympathies with Patti and Sharon, and takes the explicit tag up a notch. Dave and Judith provide quality color commentary while dodging unexpected motorcycles. We all learn a little bit about friendship, and very little about Jim J. Bullock.

My So Called Life... spotlights, Animal Bag, flashlight holsters in a tree, cops that stare blankly in the face of teenage philosophy, dudes that shout "you're dead", the Divinyls on mute, so many Devons, creepy dads, LL Bean, eyeliner, and so much more.

In 1986, a show debuted on ABC and brought Balki Bartokomous into our living rooms.  Following a wide-eyed immigrant from the fictional island of Mypos, Balki moves in with his very put-upon distant cousin Larry Appleton who's just trying to make it on the mean streets of Chicago. The pilot episode premiered as the bologna in a Who's the Boss? and Moonlighting sandwich, and somehow managed to sneak under the radar for 8 seasons and helped establish ABC's Friday night TGIF dominance.

Our listeners can sample the Perfect Strangers pilot on Hulu if you want to see what all the fuss is about.

In this podcast, Gretchen and James actually attempt to record everything live for a change. We share an Aslin Brewing Company Master of Karate, Double New England Style IPA. Gretchen gets a little tipsy, a little sassy, and a lot aggressive as we debate the finer points of this classic television sitcom. James talks about immigrants in a way that makes Gretchen uncomfortable. We take turns debating what is the worst part of this show, and in the end we learn a little bit about friendship and family.

Is it a good episode? 

Don't be ridiculous.