Still Single

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been single six months or sixteen years, the question is always the same. Why am I still single? Everyone else makes it look so easy. It seems like I’m the only one struggling this much and staying single this long.

Truth and Untruth

Sometimes it’s true. There are people who just make it look easy. They always seem to have a date and when they don’t they have something cool going on with their friends.

Other times, things are not as they appear. Your perception is that they are doing great, but actually, in private they are struggling – just like you.

But enough about them. What about you? Why are you still single?

There’s Something Wrong With Me

At times in our journey as singles, we have all wondered if we are still single because there is something wrong with us. I know I did.

Yes There Is, But …

The truth is that there is something wrong with you, probably multiple things. The same goes for me. But, the truth is that there are also multiple things wrong with the people you think make it look easy. No one is perfect. Thank God, the truth is that you do not have to be perfect to be successful at singleness or at marriage.

It’s Fixable

Also, your problems are probably not irreparable. The overwhelming majority of us don’t have some deep-seated defect that will keep us from ever having a satisfying relationship. Your issues are more than likely things that, with a little knowledge and coaching up, can be fixed. You are not doomed to be single forever. Whatever flaws you do have can, not only be fixed, but can actually, with proper care, become your strengths.

God Is Punishing Me

The real reason you are still single is that you have committed an unpardonable sin and God is angry with you. It wasn’t a sin quite bad enough to warrant smiting you so He just banished you to the joyless Land of Forgotten Singles where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Not

Actually, no, He didn’t. You will be relieved to find out that God is actually on your side. In fact, He is merciful, quick to forgive, and loves to give good things to His children. You just have to stop working against Him and learn to work with Him and do things His way.

It is important to realize that God is not all vengeance and wrath. He is also mercy, grace, and compassion. Those traits extend to places you would never believe possible. Whatever it is that you think God is punishing you for, confess it, repent of it, and know that He loves you. That is His nature.

I Haven’t Met the Right Person Yet

Most people believe they are still single because they have not met the right person yet. A lot of times this is closely linked to the myth that there is one special person out there just for you. If that is what you believe, I have good news for you. It’s not true. There are many people to whom you could be happily married.

3.5 Billion Possibilities

That being said, maybe you haven’t met someone you could see yourself being married to. Maybe you live somewhere where there is a very limited pool of prospects. Or, maybe you, like me, are hard to match. Here’s more good news. There are now over seven billion people alive on planet Earth. That’s billion – with a “b”. Slightly more than half of them are male and slightly less than half are female. That gives you a pool of about three point five billion possible matches – give or take a few hundred thousand. So,