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Why anxious people flood the silence
Format: Post-call
Runtime: ~8 minutes
Source: Psychology , verbal flooding as anxiety regulation; social anxiety expressed through speech (Clark & Wells, 1995)
Long drive home and I'm laughing a little bit about this one, which I think is the right response to it.
The call was a diagnostic on a system that wasn't cooling well. Medium complexity , turned out to be a dirty evaporator coil, a charge that was down about a quarter pound, and a filter situation that had been running close to restricted for longer than was good for it. Work I've done hundreds of times.
What was different about this call was that for two solid hours I got a continuous stream of information I hadn't requested.
He started talking when I was still coming up the driveway and he didn't stop for the full duration of the call.
He told me about the system , how long they'd had it, when they'd moved in, what the house had been like when they bought it. He told me about the neighbor's system, which had also been having problems. He told me about a guy he'd worked with once who did HVAC and what that guy had said about filter brands. He told me about his wife's preference for the temperature and why they disagreed on it. He told me about a summer in 1998 when the air went out and they had window units for three weeks and what that was like.
He wasn't asking me anything. He was narrating.
I've met people like this over the years. Not as often as some of the other types, but enough to recognize it. And what took me a while to understand , what I think I've gotten clearer on over time , is that most of them aren't like this in every room of their lives.
They're like this when something makes them nervous.
The talking is doing something. It's not social enjoyment. It's not ignorance about whether I want to hear about the 1998 window units. It's anxiety management. The voice is the only lever available, and when the lever works , when filling the space prevents the silence from becoming something worse , the brain files it and uses it again.
Clark and Wells, two psychologists who spent decades on social anxiety, described this pattern. When anxious in a social or unfamiliar situation, some people cope through what's called safety behaviors , actions that make the anxiety feel manageable in the short term. For some people the safety behavior is silence and withdrawal. For others it's the opposite: flooding the space with words so there's no room for the uncertainty to land.
The uncertainty in this case was me. A stranger in his house, doing something technical with tools, in a space where he had no expertise and no control over what I'd find or what it would cost.
Give Us A Shout
Thanks for tuning in to Hartzell's Heat & Air, your trusted HVAC experts in Oklahoma and beyond. From Kingfisher to coast-to-coast consulting, we design, install, and maintain smart, efficient systems that deliver year-round comfort.
We're employee-owned, family-run, and powered by 45+ years of experience. Whether it's AI-powered thermostats, geothermal systems, or classic tune-ups, we deliver upfront pricing, expert care, and warranties that back it all up.
🛠️ Book Online:
https://book.housecallpro.com/book/Hartzells-Heat--Air/4a569038b3dc460daf2d5f6497b18351?v2=true
🌐 www.hartzellsheatair.com
📞 (405) 375-4822
🚛 Trane Comfort Specialist • Mitsubishi Diamond Dealer • ClimateMaster Elite
🛡️ VIP Comfort Club • Remote Monitoring • Extended Warranties
📲 Follow us for tips, updates, and real-world installs:
YouTube: @hartzellsheatair6003
X: https://x.com/HartzellsHVAC
Facebook: facebook.com/hartzellsheatair
LinkedIn: Dave Hartzell
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By Dave Hartzell's Heat & Air - Kingfisher,OKFormat: Post-call
Runtime: ~8 minutes
Source: Psychology , verbal flooding as anxiety regulation; social anxiety expressed through speech (Clark & Wells, 1995)
Long drive home and I'm laughing a little bit about this one, which I think is the right response to it.
The call was a diagnostic on a system that wasn't cooling well. Medium complexity , turned out to be a dirty evaporator coil, a charge that was down about a quarter pound, and a filter situation that had been running close to restricted for longer than was good for it. Work I've done hundreds of times.
What was different about this call was that for two solid hours I got a continuous stream of information I hadn't requested.
He started talking when I was still coming up the driveway and he didn't stop for the full duration of the call.
He told me about the system , how long they'd had it, when they'd moved in, what the house had been like when they bought it. He told me about the neighbor's system, which had also been having problems. He told me about a guy he'd worked with once who did HVAC and what that guy had said about filter brands. He told me about his wife's preference for the temperature and why they disagreed on it. He told me about a summer in 1998 when the air went out and they had window units for three weeks and what that was like.
He wasn't asking me anything. He was narrating.
I've met people like this over the years. Not as often as some of the other types, but enough to recognize it. And what took me a while to understand , what I think I've gotten clearer on over time , is that most of them aren't like this in every room of their lives.
They're like this when something makes them nervous.
The talking is doing something. It's not social enjoyment. It's not ignorance about whether I want to hear about the 1998 window units. It's anxiety management. The voice is the only lever available, and when the lever works , when filling the space prevents the silence from becoming something worse , the brain files it and uses it again.
Clark and Wells, two psychologists who spent decades on social anxiety, described this pattern. When anxious in a social or unfamiliar situation, some people cope through what's called safety behaviors , actions that make the anxiety feel manageable in the short term. For some people the safety behavior is silence and withdrawal. For others it's the opposite: flooding the space with words so there's no room for the uncertainty to land.
The uncertainty in this case was me. A stranger in his house, doing something technical with tools, in a space where he had no expertise and no control over what I'd find or what it would cost.
Give Us A Shout
Thanks for tuning in to Hartzell's Heat & Air, your trusted HVAC experts in Oklahoma and beyond. From Kingfisher to coast-to-coast consulting, we design, install, and maintain smart, efficient systems that deliver year-round comfort.
We're employee-owned, family-run, and powered by 45+ years of experience. Whether it's AI-powered thermostats, geothermal systems, or classic tune-ups, we deliver upfront pricing, expert care, and warranties that back it all up.
🛠️ Book Online:
https://book.housecallpro.com/book/Hartzells-Heat--Air/4a569038b3dc460daf2d5f6497b18351?v2=true
🌐 www.hartzellsheatair.com
📞 (405) 375-4822
🚛 Trane Comfort Specialist • Mitsubishi Diamond Dealer • ClimateMaster Elite
🛡️ VIP Comfort Club • Remote Monitoring • Extended Warranties
📲 Follow us for tips, updates, and real-world installs:
YouTube: @hartzellsheatair6003
X: https://x.com/HartzellsHVAC
Facebook: facebook.com/hartzellsheatair
LinkedIn: Dave Hartzell
Built on trust. Backed by w