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What makes us crappy listeners? God gave us 2 ears & 1 mouth,, that we would listen 2X more than we talk. So what went wrong? 

The thing we need the most of, we do the least. 

Broadly speaking sociolinguists identify 3 broad barriers to effective listening: 
Internal barriers—daydreaming, ignorance, hearing problems, tired, ADD, jumping to conclusions, personal attacks, listening to speak instead of listening to receive. 

External barriers-noise to signal ratio,, context unclear, social pressures, language misunderstandings, Complexity of situation, Emotionalism, noises, TV blaring, time limits 

Stereotyping & Bias. 52 to be specific. Most important—confirmation, anchor, Golden Boy, social conformism  

So what causes ME to be a crappy listener for my mom?
1) Whack-a-Mole mentality of always solving problems
2) Assuming 
3) Anger/Fear—Fear/Anger
4) Unresolved family conflict. Member tension
5) Lack of plan. So much of caregiving seems like planlessness 
6) Performance anxiety/perfectionism 

The beginning and end of caregiving is listening. So why don’t we? I’m sorry, what did you say??!