Have you ever felt deeply hurt when someone didn't acknowledge you in a room, only to discover later they were on an important call? Or perhaps you've been on the other side—completely unaware you've offended someone until weeks later when the damage is already done.

Drawing from my experience working with autistic high school students, I explore the fascinating parallel between their black-and-white thinking and how easily neurotypical adults take offense in everyday interactions. The student who couldn't understand why he should apologize for being misunderstood mirrors our own adult tendency to create entire narratives about others' intentions without checking the facts.

Our upbringing shapes our threshold for offense—growing up in a direct, "call-it-like-it-is" family made me straightforward in ways that sometimes unintentionally ruffle feathers. But what's most revealing is how frequently the "offender" remains completely oblivious while the "offended" person builds resentment, shares grievances with others, and damages the relationship without ever addressing the issue directly.

As a therapist who's definitely offended people unintentionally (yes, therapists are human too!), I've learned that feeling slighted usually reveals more about us than about the person who supposedly wronged us. The next time you feel that sting of being ignored or disrespected, pause and ask yourself: What are the actual facts? Could there be another explanation? And most importantly—can you simply use your words and ask, just as we teach children to do?

Your relationships will thank you for choosing direct conversation over silent resentment. And remember, before posting that vague grievance on social media, talk to the actual person involved—it's the adult thing to do.