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Why “Attention Seeking” Is Really Connection Seeking
In this solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker dismantles one of the most damaging labels we use in care,
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Why “attention seeking” is misunderstood
01:18 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:49 – The science of attention as survival
03:29 – How labels like “attention seeking” damage relationships
05:28 – Attachment, trust, and why connection reduces anxiety
07:19 – Everyday examples: when being ignored hurts more than being told off
08:41 – Reframing: from attention seeking to connection seeking
09:51 – Proactive strategies: predictability and scheduled connection
10:30 – Real-world case study: harmful vs. helpful staff responses
12:08 – Connect before you correct: practical scripts to use
13:19 – Teaching adaptive ways to ask for attention
14:18 – Meeting needs isn’t “rewarding bad behaviour” — it’s removing the reason for it
15:24 – Building independence through secure attachment
16:16 – Final challenge: reframe “attention seeking” for one week and notice the change
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
This episode is for anyone who has ever rolled their eyes at “attention seeking behaviour” — and wants to understand the truth behind it. Parents will gain tools to respond to their children with empathy. Teachers will discover proactive strategies to reduce classroom disruptions. Carers will learn how connection can de-escalate distress and build trust. Instead of seeing behaviour as a problem, you’ll leave with the mindset and tools to see it as communication.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining
📲 LinkedIn: Able Training
📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast
🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
View all episodes
By Able Training Support LtdIn this solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker dismantles one of the most damaging labels we use in care,
⏱️ Chapter Timestamps
00:00 – Why “attention seeking” is misunderstood
01:18 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:49 – The science of attention as survival
03:29 – How labels like “attention seeking” damage relationships
05:28 – Attachment, trust, and why connection reduces anxiety
07:19 – Everyday examples: when being ignored hurts more than being told off
08:41 – Reframing: from attention seeking to connection seeking
09:51 – Proactive strategies: predictability and scheduled connection
10:30 – Real-world case study: harmful vs. helpful staff responses
12:08 – Connect before you correct: practical scripts to use
13:19 – Teaching adaptive ways to ask for attention
14:18 – Meeting needs isn’t “rewarding bad behaviour” — it’s removing the reason for it
15:24 – Building independence through secure attachment
16:16 – Final challenge: reframe “attention seeking” for one week and notice the change
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
This episode is for anyone who has ever rolled their eyes at “attention seeking behaviour” — and wants to understand the truth behind it. Parents will gain tools to respond to their children with empathy. Teachers will discover proactive strategies to reduce classroom disruptions. Carers will learn how connection can de-escalate distress and build trust. Instead of seeing behaviour as a problem, you’ll leave with the mindset and tools to see it as communication.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining
📲 LinkedIn: Able Training
📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast
🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk