Christian Beliefs vs ‘Modern’ Thought

It is my absolute conviction that it should be easier for Christian singles to thrive than anyone else. This, of course, flies in the face of current thought. According to ‘modern’ thinking, the only way to be single is to always be dating someone, have sex often, with or without a long-term commitment, and live together instead of marrying.

According to this thinking, having no sex or even a steady girlfriend, I should have been a miserable single again person. The truth is quite the opposite. Once I got over the initial shock of divorce, I began to thrive in my singleness. Because I lived out my beliefs, I can look back at my single years with a sense of satisfaction and the knowledge that doing it God’s way works best.

Having a lot of single friends and being involved in singles ministry and divorce ministry, I got to see a lot of people try it each way. I saw singles careful to do it God’s way and saw them thrive. I saw people do it the way most people today do it and saw them struggle.

Gettin’ Preachy Wit’ It

Usually, one of my goals with Thrive Singles Blog is to offer up a Christian world view of what singleness should look like without being preachy. Well, today you can put on your Sunday best and wave that hanky – I’m preachin’.

If you want to ultimately thrive as a single, living out your Christianity in the area of dating and sexuality will get you there. When it comes to thriving as a single, Christians should absolutely have the upper hand. I believe this is true for the following reasons: The Love of God, The Presence of God, and The Family of God. Let’s unpack each of those a little.

The Love of God

Two of the basic needs of human beings are love and acceptance. As a Christian single, you have that in abundance. God’s love for you is without equal and without fail. When you are secure in that, it moves you beyond the panicked search for love and acceptance in another person.

That gives you the strength to stay emotionally healthy. Whether any human being finds you attractive or gives you their attention or not, you know God loves you and is looking out for you.

The Presence of God

One of the biggest threats to the single person is loneliness, but in a very real sense, as a Christian single, you are never completely alone. God, in the person of The Holy Spirit, is always with you. Comfort and companionship are never something you lack. God is with you.

The Family of God

As wonderful as the presence of God is, that is not the only thing standing between you and loneliness. You also have the family of God. If you are plugged into a healthy body of fellow believers, you have their fellowship.

If you do not have that, find a body of believers who will offer you Christian fellowship. As a Christian single, you should never be completely alone in this world. You have brothers and sisters who love you. That is a major reason that I was able to thrive as a single.

Christian Singles *Should* Thrive

Yes, Christian singles should thrive. The truth is that Christian singles do not always thrive. I see many struggling. Given all of their advantages, why is that?

Sex Drive

One of the biggest reasons is our sex drive. Being a Christian does not make your sex drive magically disappear. This is especially true for those of us who have a healthy sex drive and were accustomed to having regular sex before we found ourselves single again.

This was a huge issue for me. It is an area for which I cannot offer any simple solution. It’s difficult. I struggled with it constantly. God sees your struggle.