Are you trying to become better by doing more but yet still feel stuck?

In this episode of Self-Leadership Lab, I sit down with Ryan Gottfredson, author of Becoming Better, to unpack a powerful (and often overlooked) truth:

Most people don’t stall because of a lack of effort but because they stop evolving internally.

We explore the difference between doing better and being better, why horizontal growth eventually hits a ceiling, and how vertical development changes the way we lead ourselves, our relationships, and our work.

This conversation goes beyond motivation and productivity into the internal operating system that drives behavior, mindset, emotional regulation, and leadership effectiveness.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Why doing more often leads to burnout, frustration, and stagnation

• The difference between horizontal development (skills, credentials) and vertical development (inner growth)

• The Being vs. Doing framework and why most leadership development misses the mark

• Why 95% of people think they’re self-aware but only 10–15% actually are

• The three levels of adult development (Mind 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0) and where most leaders operate

• How self-protective mindsets quietly sabotage growth and leadership

• Why constructive criticism feels threatening—and how to rewire that response

• A live, real-time self-leadership exercise that exposes hidden internal blocks

• How purpose-driven leaders create environments where people actually grow

Key Takeaway

If your being hasn’t evolved, no amount of hustle, habits, or discipline will get you where you want to go.

Real growth starts when you stop asking: “What do I need to do next?” And start asking: “Who do I want to become?”

Connect with Ryan

Website: https://ryangottfredson.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryangottfredson/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryangottfredson/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ryangottfredsonphd

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RyanGottfredsonPhD/

X: https://x.com/RyanGottfredson

Connect With Bobby

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbAUhnH37eodhRKlVu7B--g

Instagram: @theselfleadershiplab

LinkedIn: ⁠https://linkedin.com/in/dr-bobby-shelton-dsl-pmp-acc-124502b⁠

Podcast: The Self-Leadership Lab (Available on Apple, YouTube, or Spotify)

Website: ⁠www.battlecatcoaching.com⁠

Book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FT68RCB1⁠

Substack: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

If this conversation helped you rethink your inner voice, hit Subscribe and turn on notifications. New episodes every week to help you lead yourself better.

Want to be a guest on The Self-Leadership Lab? Send Bobby Shelton a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17641667851977069fa15a161

self-leadership, vertical development, becoming better, Ryan Gottfredson, being vs doing, personal growth, lead yourself, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, mindset growth, adult development, Bobby Shelton, The Self-Leadership Lab