"Why don't I like people being proud of me?" ep. 205

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why it can feel so bad when our therapist is proud of us, how we can end therapy when we have attachment issues, and how therapists alter their treatment depending on our diagnoses. She then talks about why an eating disorder often comes with a food obsession, what we can do when we are terrified of people not liking us, and finally, she walks us through what to do with our complicated feelings towards an abusive parent.

Questions & timestamps

At the end of a super emotionally charged session with my therapist where I shared something really difficult that I’ve never talked about with anyone, my therapist said, “You’re doing it!” I knew she meant that I was healing but I felt really shitty during the session and for days afterwards. How do you know when you’ve worked through something and have fully processed it? 1:23

Could you please talk about ending therapy while having attachment issues? My therapist is pregnant and will be going on maternity leave in a few weeks. I've actually been thinking about ending therapy for quite a while but the fact that my therapist is now leaving and effectively ending the therapy has triggered feelings of abandonment in me. I suddenly feel mentally really bad again. 12:28

I was wondering if therapists change the ways of doing therapy based off of the diagnosis the client may have. Would a therapist work differently with a client who had Bipolar 2 vs a client who has ADHD or from one who has OCD? I hope this question isn’t too complicated and I just want you to know I love your work! I am always excited to see your videos every week! 22:43

Why is it that restrictive eating disorders often include an obsession with food, even though it’s the thing we’re avoiding? I’ve been highly restricting for about 2 months and have become kind of obsessed with grocery stores. I go anywhere from 3-5 times a week, usually making small purchases each time. I have a ton of snacks and “binge food” in my room that I’ve accumulated, but don’t eat. It’s like I’m punishing myself by having food in sight that I don’t allow myself to have. I spend so much time on grocery apps/websites analyzing nutrition labels and filling imaginary carts with things I wish I could eat. All of this takes up so much of my time and headspace. 25:58

I’m terrified of people not liking me. I don’t know why but if I feel like if I mess up or am annoying or something people aren’t going to like me and they won’t want to hangout with me anymore and they will leave me. I'm so afraid of this that I... 31:09

Can you talk about dealing with conflicted feelings towards abusive parents? I need distance to feel safe enough to work through trauma from csa, but at the same time I do miss them, love them and don‘t want them to be sad. I feel like a huge disappointment to them. I don‘t know how to keep the relationship, how to be a good daughter. 37:42

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