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Why Goodbye Doesn’t Come Easily: Grieving Loved Ones When You Have ADHD
Host: Christine Dunning, Master Certified Life Coach & founder of Two Cats Coaching
Guest: Stacy Collins, hospice chaplain (Dignity Hospice) & fellow late-diagnosed ADHDer
This second episode in our ADHD & Grief series goes deep on the big one: grieving the death of a loved one—a parent, partner, close friend, or family member. Christine and Stacy explore how ADHD can intensify and complicate the experience—and how support, planning, and self-compassion can make a very hard season a little gentler.
What We Cover
- What hospice really is (and isn’t):
Interdisciplinary care (chaplain, social worker, nurse, CNA) focused on comfort, meaning, and family support—often Medicare-covered when prognosis is ~ six months or less, with the possibility of renewal. - Saying goodbye on purpose:
Hard/beautiful conversations, forgiveness, personal wishes, and rituals that honor the person. - ADHD layers in grief:
Overwhelm → “do-er mode,” numbness, or shutdown; executive-function strain; shame spirals; and how to check in with what’s truly needed right now. - Personal stories:
Sudden loss vs. time to prepare, cumulative grief, and the comfort of knowing a loved one’s wishes. - Grief fog & decision-making:
Why it helps to delay big life choices, what must be handled now, and how to share the load. - If you’re solo (or become solo):
How to ask for help, lean on hospice teams and bereavement services, and let good listeners be present. - Planning for your own end-of-life:
Advance care planning, where to keep documents, who knows how to find them, and choosing meaningful bequests. - Re-entering life:
Gentle self-care, small rituals to mark transitions, and naming that you are changed—and still moving forward.
Favorite Lines
“You will do grief the way you do grief.”
“Sometimes ADHD grief looks like chaos—or like numbness.”
“Live the life you want to live until you die.”
Series Roadmap
- Ep 13: What Is Grief? (ADHD & Big Feelings)
- Ep 14: Why Goodbye Doesn’t Come Easily (this episode)
- Ep 15: Pet Grief — The Quiet Ones Hurt the Most
- Ep 16: Grieving Lost Dreams — The Life I Didn’t Live
- Ep 17: Rituals & Real Talk — ADHD-Friendly Grief Rituals
Resources & Support
- U.S. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7)
- 911 for emergencies
- Local hospice/bereavement programs (ask your provider or hospice organization)
- Dignity Hospice (Denver): www.dignityco.com
Disclaimer
This podcast is for education and support. It is not medical or mental-health advice. If you’re struggling to function or feel unsafe, please seek professional help (U.S.: 988 or 911).
Connect
- Website & show hub: TwoCatsCoaching.com
- IG/FB: @TwoCatsCoaching
- Freebies? Click here
- Subscribe, rate, and share if this helped you. 🐾
View all episodes
By ChristineHost: Christine Dunning, Master Certified Life Coach & founder of Two Cats Coaching
Guest: Stacy Collins, hospice chaplain (Dignity Hospice) & fellow late-diagnosed ADHDer
This second episode in our ADHD & Grief series goes deep on the big one: grieving the death of a loved one—a parent, partner, close friend, or family member. Christine and Stacy explore how ADHD can intensify and complicate the experience—and how support, planning, and self-compassion can make a very hard season a little gentler.
What We Cover
- What hospice really is (and isn’t):
Interdisciplinary care (chaplain, social worker, nurse, CNA) focused on comfort, meaning, and family support—often Medicare-covered when prognosis is ~ six months or less, with the possibility of renewal. - Saying goodbye on purpose:
Hard/beautiful conversations, forgiveness, personal wishes, and rituals that honor the person. - ADHD layers in grief:
Overwhelm → “do-er mode,” numbness, or shutdown; executive-function strain; shame spirals; and how to check in with what’s truly needed right now. - Personal stories:
Sudden loss vs. time to prepare, cumulative grief, and the comfort of knowing a loved one’s wishes. - Grief fog & decision-making:
Why it helps to delay big life choices, what must be handled now, and how to share the load. - If you’re solo (or become solo):
How to ask for help, lean on hospice teams and bereavement services, and let good listeners be present. - Planning for your own end-of-life:
Advance care planning, where to keep documents, who knows how to find them, and choosing meaningful bequests. - Re-entering life:
Gentle self-care, small rituals to mark transitions, and naming that you are changed—and still moving forward.
Favorite Lines
“You will do grief the way you do grief.”
“Sometimes ADHD grief looks like chaos—or like numbness.”
“Live the life you want to live until you die.”
Series Roadmap
- Ep 13: What Is Grief? (ADHD & Big Feelings)
- Ep 14: Why Goodbye Doesn’t Come Easily (this episode)
- Ep 15: Pet Grief — The Quiet Ones Hurt the Most
- Ep 16: Grieving Lost Dreams — The Life I Didn’t Live
- Ep 17: Rituals & Real Talk — ADHD-Friendly Grief Rituals
Resources & Support
- U.S. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7)
- 911 for emergencies
- Local hospice/bereavement programs (ask your provider or hospice organization)
- Dignity Hospice (Denver): www.dignityco.com
Disclaimer
This podcast is for education and support. It is not medical or mental-health advice. If you’re struggling to function or feel unsafe, please seek professional help (U.S.: 988 or 911).
Connect
- Website & show hub: TwoCatsCoaching.com
- IG/FB: @TwoCatsCoaching
- Freebies? Click here
- Subscribe, rate, and share if this helped you. 🐾