In leadership, it’s often said that success comes from taking bold action, saying “yes” to new opportunities, and grabbing every chance to move forward. But the truth is that growth doesn’t always come from what we say “yes” to — it often comes from what we have the courage to say “no” to. In this episode of Leaders ADAPT, host Andreas Pedersen sits down with coach and entrepreneur Alex to explore the powerful role that “no” plays in building businesses, leading people, and designing a meaningful life.
Alex begins by sharing a story of recently turning down a potential client. On the surface, the opportunity looked good — the business was strong, the leader seemed committed, and the financial upside was there. But beneath the surface, something didn’t feel aligned. The client wanted to build deeper connections with customers while simultaneously planning an exit strategy.
For Alex, this was a red flag. “The moment you start planning your way out of a business,” he explains, “you’re already out.” By saying no to that engagement, Alex stayed true to his core belief: he only works with leaders who are fully invested in growth and transformation, not just chasing short-term gains.
That decision reflects one of the main themes of this conversation — that true leadership is not about pleasing everyone or taking every deal that comes along. It’s about clarity, alignment, and the discipline to choose the opportunities that fit your values and long-term vision.
As Andreas points out, too many entrepreneurs fall into the trap of saying yes out of desperation, chasing the dollar signs while ignoring the hidden costs of misaligned partnerships. Those “yes” moments often come with what he calls a “negative tax”: frustration, wasted time, and missed opportunities for real growth.
The discussion then shifts into the idea of authenticity versus transaction. Alex is clear about his preference: “I can’t work with fake people. If there’s no foundation of trust, there’s no relationship to build on.” While transactional work has its place — such as large corporate workshops or one-off speaking engagements — he reserves his personal coaching energy for leaders who want more than just deliverables. He looks for people who want transformation, who are willing to be challenged, and who are ready to do the difficult work of growth.
Andreas and Alex also dive into the definition of success. Many leaders measure success by outcomes: revenue, deals closed, or milestones achieved. But Alex encourages a different perspective — measuring success by effort, alignment, and progress in the moment. He shares the story of Kyle, a young client who initially focused solely on building his business.
Through coaching, Kyle rediscovered his passion for comedy, which gradually opened unexpected doors and eventually became a new path. For Alex, the lesson is simple: when leaders take off the blinders of traditional success metrics, they often discover opportunities that are more fulfilling and sustainable.
