This is a simple, but sinister one! 🍭☠️🎁🧶

Codependency👯: some statistics state 90% of the population in the U.S. is codependent, in codependent relationships with their partners, families, etc…

The sinister part ☠️ is we adjust our behavior to this naughty person subconsciously, without knowing we are doing it. And this effects our lives, however, if we don’t see it🔎 we won’t know it is there🤷‍♂️

This helps them keep behaving inappropriately,

and you are probably pulling out your hair 🫣 drinking shots and cocktails 🍸 stressing 😵‍💫 over controlling their behavior to be easy-going, normal. 🙃

( the behavior won’t ever change 🛑 until everyone is being honest & these actions and behaviors are addressed- this person needs a firm stand, but we will get to this…)

It’s a Relationship Addiction 💊

This is a form of addiction, it’s kinda hush-hush. However, detrimental to you showing up living your best, shackle-free life. **And we are confusing love for pity or rescuing the person, our self-worth is dependent on caring for others (we are a savior, a fixer, a superhero…)**

Codependency is something I have experienced myself in relationships in some degree or another, and it’s exhausting. It lead to resentment because I was taking on someone else’s baggage, their lack of boundaries or lack of getting to know themselves. I would in turn feel drained, would not put in the time for myself that I needed because all my energy was being poured into my partner who would seem to unravel if I turned my back.🧶

Does this sound familiar? Something you are or have experienced or like a relationship you know?💡 you should share this with them, they can’t fix 🛠️what they don’t know is broken.

I can tell you: it’s exhausting showing up, all the time in your relationship appeasing someone because they seem to be too fragile or not capable to handle their own emotions or problems or create boundaries on their own, stand up for themselves. This resentment in the relationship builds up towards your partner not showing up for themselves and their emotions, not taking control of their life and problems. Not to mention all the time and energy spent into managing someone else and not ourself.

Codependency has ended many of my relationships because relationships are a two part dance. If your partner is going to show up and step on your toes and trip you while you’re holding them up it is time to go 🚪 and take a break off of the dance floor, and eventually go find another partner. 🕺

If your partner or loved one is ⚠️ not taking a good look at what is hurting them and holding them back in their life⚠️, they will always drag you down to make up the difference.🧮 Someone has to be doing the emotional work and it will fall on you and you won’t be satisfied in the relationship because you cannot do the emotional labor for others, you can’t heal them they have to choose to heal themselves. 📓🕊️

The people you love that are hurting have to heal themselves.

They have to figure out they are valuable and worthy of a healthy relationship. Another person cannot give this to us, we have to give ourselves 🎁 this belief, create it by knowing our worth and making sure we are thinking and creating positive thoughts about ourself. And if we have someone there coddling us, tucking us in at night, we will never take the time to get to know ourselves properly so we can show up healthy, and authentic, happy with boundaries, in our relationships.

And I want that for people.

Happy, easy-going, individualistic relationships. You should be allowed to be yourself, and each individual do their own emotional work.

Is this making sense or sound familiar?

Are you interested in tools or boundaries for codependency and examples of how codependency plays out with individuals? Let me know your thoughts!

Much Love,

Ashley

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