Most of us have been told that unconditional love is the highest expression of a spiritual relationship. But what if that belief is actually killing your chance at true intimacy?

In this episode, Mike and Courtney challenge the cultural narrative around unconditional love and propose something radical: that mature, evolutionary love is actually conditional. And here's what they discovered—this understanding creates MORE love, not less.

If you've been feeling drained, unseen, or losing yourself in the name of love, this episode is for you.

What You'll Learn:

• Why unconditional love often masks neglect, enabling, and soul death

• The difference between love as a feeling vs. love as an action

• How the lack of conditions actually makes us MORE selfish and less loving

• The moment Mike realized unconditional love was hurting his relationship

• How "fierce love" and clear conditions transformed their partnership

• Why boundaries and conditions are actually deeply loving

• How to identify YOUR conditions for feeling truly loved

• Real examples: parenting, marriage, and supporting clients through this shift

Key Moment: Mike shares the powerful realization of honoring his own inner child and the vow he made to never abandon his own needs for love again—and how this actually deepened intimacy with Courtney.

For Couples: If you're ready to move from "unconditional acceptance" to "conditional devotion," join Mike and Courtney's flagship program, Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation. Early bird pricing available until February 19th—$2,000 savings. https://www.sacredrelating.com/

Timestamps:

• 0:01 The problem with unconditional love

• 2:11 Introducing the radical idea: love is conditional

• 5:01 Bell Hooks changed everything: "Love is an action"

• 7:04 Why this matters in relationships

• 11:47 The story: How Mike's unconditional love was actually hurting them

• 14:47 Courtney's fierce love and what shifted

• 15:49 The river needs banks: why conditions create safety

• 17:34 Parenting example: How boundaries created more love

• 19:40 Client example: How clarity on conditions changed everything
• 20:28 Gordon Neufeld's insight: No boundaries = neglect
• 21:52 True mature love has limits
• 24:05 The paradox: Love as action + unconditional self-love
• 27:42 Why knowing your conditions attracts the right partner
• 28:27 The Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation program