October 09, 2022

Why nerves are a gift and how to deal with them

7 minutes

How to deal with nerves:

Before we perform as an athlete, actor, presenting, a job interview or in any given situation where there is pressure to do well, even if it is a small audience of one, like a first date, as humans, we will have nerves.

The best of the best in the world will all all say that before a big event or match that they are nervous. It is part of the human condition. So what determines who can perform under pressure and those who struggle? Confidence is key but what makes us confident? Are some people born more confident than others? I doubt this and beside many have proved that they have learned to be confident. So what is the difference that gives some the confidence to perform even though they're nervous? Here are some key pointers:

The first thing is to understand that what you think about is what makes or breaks your confidence. If you focus and put all your attention on all the perceived disasters that can happen fear, worry and overwhelm will grow. If you focus on all the success you have had to get you to this point and go so far as to write down 5 things that you do well, that make you proud your energy will change. We do indeed reap what we sow in our own minds.

Negative thinking stops you from being who you are. If you think about all the things that can go wrong, the fact that you will possibly perform very badly rather than thinking about the sorts of things that build your confidence you are creating your own disaster and may I add taking the situation out of perspective, because even if you do flop - what will happen?
Instead ask yourself some great questions.
Do I know my stuff?
Am I competent? It is doubtful that you would be in the position that you're in, if you didn't believe that you were competent enough, that your skills were not up to scratch. If on a date you clearly are good enough for the person to have agreed to meet you so they are wanting you to be someone they like. Why not immediately give yourself credit for the fact that you have the knowledge, the skills, probably worked hard over time to become good enough to be in this pressure situation.
So why would you be afraid of giving people what they've shown up for? People show up to see you succeed or to find that great employee!
Ask this question. How do I want to remember myself after this occurrence? Will you enjoy the memory of a scared mouse, someone who didn't show their true value, who didn't show their true competence and skills?
or
do you want to be remembered as somebody who had the discipline to do their job and to not put the audience or the other person through the embarrassment of feeling sorry for you?
Are you so selfish that you're unwilling to share happily your knowledge and skills?
Did you not train and spend hours honing your skills only for when the moment arrives you deprive others of the opportunity to enjoy, be inspired, or whatever other good feelings you can bring out in your audience.
By doing well everyone wins. Surely this is the aim? Sharing is caring so take good care of your audience no matter how big or small it may be!

I will be nervous before my first Case Study Group session this week. I have huge experience, done it many times before so what makes me nervous? My nerves are amazing - they are the very thing that force me to prepare well, to have a huge desire to give the group who are investing time and money into learning from me a wonderful experience. This is why we get nervous. If we don’t get nervous we probably don’t care.

As always please subscribe and if you are new please listen to previous episodes and connect with me on social media or via email in the show notes.

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