Grieve That Sh!t

Why Noise Feels Like an Attack In Grief


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Episode Summary: In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker talks about something most grievers never see coming: why normal sounds suddenly feel like an attack. The kids laughing, the microwave door slamming, a choir starting at church, a car alarm in the parking lot. Things you used to handle just fine now hit your body like lightning.

Sharon walks you through what is really happening inside your grieving brain. She breaks down the amygdala, the nervous system, the HPA axis, and why grief flips all of them into survival mode. This is not you "being dramatic." This is biology. Your brain is trying to protect your broken heart and it does not know the difference between emotional danger and physical danger.

Through real stories from her clients, Sharon shows how jumpiness, noise sensitivity, snapping at people, and shutting down in crowds are not personality flaws. They are signs that your grief system is stuck on high alert and has not been taught how to turn off. Then she shows you the path out: learning how to calm your brain by processing the pain of grief instead of running from it.

Key Points Discussed:

  1. Why everyday noise can feel like an attack when you are grieving

  2. How the amygdala scans for emotional pain and treats it like danger

  3. What happens to your thinking center when grief hits and why you feel numb

  4. How the sympathetic nervous system keeps your body in survival mode

  5. Why your senses feel sharper, your reactions bigger, and your patience thinner

  6. The four grief responses Sharon sees most often: resisting, reacting, avoiding, and pretending

  7. How stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline keep your system on high alert

  8. Why this noise sensitivity is not permanent when you learn to process the pain

  9. How Processing the Pain of Grief helps calm your brain and soften your grief

Journal Questions for Reflection:

  1. What sounds or situations make your body jump or tense up now that you are grieving

  2. Where do you notice your thinking has slowed down or feels foggy

  3. When was the last time you snapped or shut down and later realized you were not really mad at that person or thing

  4. What background noise or repeated behavior from others feels harder to tolerate since your loss

  5. What would it look like to give your brain and body a place to calm down instead of just pushing through

Conclusion: Noise sensitivity in grief is not you "losing it." It is your grief biology doing its best to protect you with the only tools it knows. Your brain is on high alert. Your body is tired. Your system is trying to outrun the pain. But this does not have to be your forever.

When you learn how to process the pain of grief, your nervous system can settle. Your thoughts get clearer. Your reactions soften. The world gets a little quieter again. You will still miss your person, but the grief does not have to feel like an attack every time a memory or a sound shows up.

Contact Us: Ready to calm your grief brain and learn how to process the pain, not just survive it Join Sharon Brubaker inside Processing the Pain of Grief, her live classroom where you learn what your brain is doing, how grief works in the body, and how to move the pain out instead of holding it in.

Learn more and get support inside The Grief School community. Website: thegriefschool.com Contact: [email protected] TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

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Grieve That Sh!tBy Sharon Brubaker and Erica Honore

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