Episode Summary: In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker talks about something most grievers never see coming: why normal sounds suddenly feel like an attack. The kids laughing, the microwave door slamming, a choir starting at church, a car alarm in the parking lot. Things you used to handle just fine now hit your body like lightning.

Sharon walks you through what is really happening inside your grieving brain. She breaks down the amygdala, the nervous system, the HPA axis, and why grief flips all of them into survival mode. This is not you "being dramatic." This is biology. Your brain is trying to protect your broken heart and it does not know the difference between emotional danger and physical danger.

Through real stories from her clients, Sharon shows how jumpiness, noise sensitivity, snapping at people, and shutting down in crowds are not personality flaws. They are signs that your grief system is stuck on high alert and has not been taught how to turn off. Then she shows you the path out: learning how to calm your brain by processing the pain of grief instead of running from it.

Key Points Discussed:

1. Why everyday noise can feel like an attack when you are grieving

2. How the amygdala scans for emotional pain and treats it like danger

3. What happens to your thinking center when grief hits and why you feel numb

4. How the sympathetic nervous system keeps your body in survival mode

5. Why your senses feel sharper, your reactions bigger, and your patience thinner

6. The four grief responses Sharon sees most often: resisting, reacting, avoiding, and pretending

7. How stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline keep your system on high alert

8. Why this noise sensitivity is not permanent when you learn to process the pain

9. How Processing the Pain of Grief helps calm your brain and soften your grief

Journal Questions for Reflection:

1. What sounds or situations make your body jump or tense up now that you are grieving

2. Where do you notice your thinking has slowed down or feels foggy

3. When was the last time you snapped or shut down and later realized you were not really mad at that person or thing

4. What background noise or repeated behavior from others feels harder to tolerate since your loss

5. What would it look like to give your brain and body a place to calm down instead of just pushing through

Conclusion: Noise sensitivity in grief is not you "losing it." It is your grief biology doing its best to protect you with the only tools it knows. Your brain is on high alert. Your body is tired. Your system is trying to outrun the pain. But this does not have to be your forever.

When you learn how to process the pain of grief, your nervous system can settle. Your thoughts get clearer. Your reactions soften. The world gets a little quieter again. You will still miss your person, but the grief does not have to feel like an attack every time a memory or a sound shows up.

Contact Us: Ready to calm your grief brain and learn how to process the pain, not just survive it Join Sharon Brubaker inside Processing the Pain of Grief, her live classroom where you learn what your brain is doing, how grief works in the body, and how to move the pain out instead of holding it in.

Learn more and get support inside The Grief School community. Website: thegriefschool.com Contact: [email protected] TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

"When your person died, a part of you died too. Not your whole self—but the version of you that only existed in connection with them. That's the part grief takes. That's what forever changed really means."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, opens her heart about what it truly means to be forever changed—but not broken.

After losing her nephew Austin and later her best friend Sharon, her life split into two: before and after. But in this episode, she invites you into the middle—the space between who you were and who you're becoming. It's the unseen, disorienting place where identity, routine, and meaning fall apart.

This is the part of grief no one talks about. The part where you're not who you were, but not yet who you'll be. Sharon calls it "the tween." And it's here, in the unknown, that real healing begins.

You'll hear what it means to let go of the pieces that no longer match your truth, how to live with the absence that screams louder than words, and why being "forever changed" is not the same as being broken.

Because the truth is—grief rewires your story. But you still get to decide how that story ends.

• The three phases of grief: before, between, and after

• Why your identity shifts after loss—and how to honor the version of you that's gone

• How to navigate the "tween," the unknown space between devastation and rebuilding

• The truth about being "forever changed, not broken"

• Why time doesn't fix grief—but processing the pain does

Find a quiet place this week and journal through these prompts:

1️⃣ What part of me died when they died? 2️⃣ What part of me is still here, waiting to be known again? 3️⃣ What truth am I ready to stop fighting?

You don't have to have perfect answers. You just have to begin writing them. Because healing starts the moment you stop trying to go back—and start facing the after.

🎥 Get the Forever Changed Video Series — A 3-part self-guided video course with slides, reflection prompts, and deep-dive lessons to help you process your pain. 📘 Download the eBook "This Is Grief" — Learn the foundations of grief and what it really means to be forever changed. 🧠 Join The Grief School Study Hall — Live weekly support sessions where you can bring your questions, your tears, and your truth.

👉 Access everything at clickhereforhope.com

🎙️ Episode Summary: In this powerful episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker opens the door on one of the most misunderstood experiences in grief: the silent battle happening inside your body. After the loss of her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered that grief isn't just sadness. It's a full body takeover. It's your mind racing, your stomach twisting, your heart pounding, and your nervous system trying to protect you in ways that end up keeping you stuck.

Through honest storytelling and deep reflection, Sharon explains why so many grievers stay busy, stay strong, and stay silent while their bodies carry the weight of what their hearts are terrified to feel. She shares the truth about resisting pain, pretending to be okay, and the invisible cost of swallowing your emotions day after day.

If you've ever felt like your body reacts before your mind can catch up, or if you've wondered why your grief hits you out of nowhere, this episode will help you finally understand what's happening inside you.

🧠 Key Points Discussed: 1) Why resistance in grief feels safer but creates emotional paralysis 2) How the nervous system goes on high alert after loss and why that leads to exhaustion 3) What happens to your body when you stay busy instead of feeling your pain 4) Why pretending to be strong teaches everyone around you to avoid the truth 5) How swallowed emotions return louder, heavier, and more confusing 6) What it means when old memories surface years after the loss 7) How hiding your grief disconnects you from the people you love 8) Why you can't heal what you refuse to feel 9) How to begin turning toward your grief instead of away from it

📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: 1) Where am I resisting my pain instead of feeling it 2) What emotions have I been swallowing 3) Where have I been pretending to be okay 4) What memories or moments keep resurfacing and what might they be asking me to notice 5) What support would help me feel safe enough to stop being strong and start being honest

🩶 Conclusion: Your silence doesn't heal you. Your resistance doesn't protect you. Your pretending doesn't bring peace. Grief lives in your body until you turn toward it with honesty. Healing begins the moment you stop swallowing your truth and start letting yourself feel what's real.

When you soften, even a little, your grief begins to move. When you let yourself name the pain, it finally has somewhere to go. You deserve relief. You deserve support. You deserve to let your body exhale.

📬 Contact Us: Ready to go deeper and get the support you've been needing Join Sharon Brubaker inside The Grief School community

📝 The Courage Club every Thursday at 10 AM CST Live inside The Grief School Facebook Group

🎤 Surviving the Holidays Masterclass now open thegriefschool.life/holidays2025

📧 Contact: [email protected] 📲 TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

🎙️ Episode Summary: In this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker opens her heart about the painful truths she learned after the death of her son, Austin.

She shares the moments she wishes she had faced differently—the pretending, the resisting, and the avoiding—and how each of those choices kept her trapped in silence. Through raw honesty and reflection, Sharon reveals what she's learned about strength, vulnerability, and what real healing actually requires.

If you've ever felt like you had to be strong for everyone else… or that your tears made you weak… this episode will meet you right where you are.

You'll hear the truth about why hiding your pain doesn't protect you—it just delays the healing.

🧠 Key Points Discussed:

• What "being strong" really cost Sharon after her son's death

• The difference between surviving grief and processing it

• How pretending you're okay teaches everyone around you to do the same

• The danger of waiting for time to heal what needs to be faced

• What happens when grief becomes silence inside a family

• How to begin sharing your pain safely—with honesty, not performance

• Why feeling your grief doesn't make you weak, it makes you real

📓 Journal Questions for Reflection:

• Where in my life am I pretending to be strong?

• What would it look like to show up honestly in my grief?

• Who might be learning from the way I'm handling my pain?

• What's one thing I wish I had said—or still want to say—to my person?

• What kind of support would feel safe for me right now?

🩶 Conclusion: Grief doesn't need you to be strong. It needs you to be honest.

You don't have to hide your pain, smile through it, or wait for time to fix it. Healing begins the moment you stop resisting what hurts and start letting yourself feel it.

Because pretending keeps you stuck— but honesty opens the door to peace.

📬 Contact Us: Want to go deeper or get live support as you heal? Join Sharon Brubaker inside The Grief School community:

📝 Grief Study Hall – every Wednesday @ 7PM CST 📍 Live in The Grief School Facebook Group (link in comments)

🎤 Surviving the Holidays Masterclass – Now Open for Registration Learn how to move through this season with care, peace, and a plan for your heart. 👉 thegriefschool.life/holidays2025

📧 Contact: [email protected] 📲 TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram: @thegriefschool

In this deeply moving and unforgettable episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker shares a story that stopped her in her tracks, a moment that changed two families' lives forever.

What began as an ordinary drive with her husband turned into a tragedy they witnessed unfold before their eyes. Through this raw, emotional experience, Sharon explores how quickly life can change, how grief shatters the illusion of time, and what it truly means to live with awareness, compassion, and love before it's too late.

This episode isn't just about loss it's about the fragility of life, the depth of empathy, and the sacred invitation to love harder, forgive faster, and be present now.

🧠 Key Points Discussed:

• How grief can enter your life in one split second

• Why no one is immune to loss—grief is the great equalizer

• The illusion of "time" and how we waste it on silence, anger, or pride

• The difference between empathy and agreement—and why both matter

• How witnessing tragedy reminds us that everyone is carrying invisible pain

• Why judgment has no place in grief

• What it means to truly "love in the now" and not wait for later

• How unspoken words become the loudest echoes after loss

📓 Journal Questions for Reflection:

• What moment in your life divided your world into "before" and "after"?

• What are the words you wish you had said—and who still needs to hear them?

• Who do you need to forgive or apologize to today?

• What would loving harder and living slower look like for you right now?

• How can you honor both sides of a painful story—with empathy instead of blame?

🩶 Conclusion: Life changes in an instant. One minute you're laughing at a gas station—and the next, everything is different.

Grief doesn't wait for your permission. It breaks in, rewrites your story, and asks you to start living with your eyes open. You cannot control what happens, but you can choose how you show up when it does.

So before you go to bed tonight—say what needs to be said. Tell your people you love them. Forgive where you can. Because the ache in your heart is proof that it still works.

📬 Contact Us: If your heart feels heavy after this episode, that's okay. That means it's working. Come sit with us and learn to process your grief with guidance and community.

📝 Processing the Pain of Grief – Join the self-guided program and begin healing today 💻 clickhereforhope.com

🎄 Holiday Grief Care Plan Masterclass – November 8 at 7PM CST If the holidays feel impossible, this class will help you breathe again. You can join one session for $19, or get the full bundle for $47 to receive all October freebies, recordings, and access to November and December's live sessions.

📧 Contact: [email protected] 📲 TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

"Avoiding the pain won't make it go away—it only teaches it to hide."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker breaks down one of the sneakiest traps that keeps grievers stuck: avoidance. When life shatters, the natural instinct is to run from the pain, to stay busy, and to pretend you're doing fine. But as Sharon reminds us, ignoring grief doesn't erase it—it buries it.

This episode dives deep into what happens when we try to outsmart our pain. Sharon explains why our brains convince us to avoid reminders of our person, how distraction becomes a survival skill that turns into a lifestyle, and how avoidance slowly shrinks our world until even joy feels out of reach. She shares real, compassionate tools to help you stop running from grief and begin facing it—one small, brave step at a time.

What You'll Learn in This Episode Why grief convinces you that avoiding pain will make it fade The difference between healthy, temporary breaks and lifelong avoidance How avoidance shows up in daily life—from over-cleaning to staying "too busy" Why the longer you avoid your grief, the smaller your world becomes Simple, gentle steps to start meeting your grief instead of running from it

Homework for You Take five quiet minutes this week to notice when you avoid your feelings. Ask yourself: 1. What emotion am I trying not to feel right now? 2. Where do I feel it in my body? 3. Then set a time limit for your avoidance. 4. Give yourself permission to take a break, but also promise yourself to come back—to cry, to write, to feel. That's how you begin to heal.

Resources + Next Steps Check what's happening in the Grief School: clickhereforhope.com Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST Sign up for the Surviving Christmas Masterclass on November 8th to create your holiday grief plan Follow Sharon on TikTok and YouTube at @thegriefschool

"Grief isn't just sadness—it's a full-body takeover. It's the storm that hits when love has nowhere left to land."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker takes you back to the foundation of it all: understanding what grief actually is. For too long, we've been fed clichés about "moving on" or "staying strong," while no one ever taught us how to live through the ache.

Sharon unpacks the real definition of grief—the kind you feel in your bones. She shares what she wishes she'd known when her nephew Austin died, and why understanding the truth about grief changes everything. This isn't theory—it's lived experience, raw and unfiltered.

You'll learn why grief isn't just emotional, but physical. Why it feels unnatural even though it's the most natural thing in the world. And why no two people grieve the same, even when they're mourning the same person.

By the end of this episode, you'll stop asking "what's wrong with me?" and start realizing: nothing is wrong with you. Your grief is proof that you loved deeply.

• Why grief is normal and natural—and what that really means

• The truth about conflicted feelings and why you can miss someone and still feel relief they're gone

• How grief becomes physical, showing up in your body as much as in your heart

• Why your grief will never look like anyone else's

• How naming your grief gives you power to begin healing

Print this out and do it this week:

Write down three moments when grief hits you the hardest.

Is it when you wake up? When you reach for the phone to call them? When silence gets too loud?

Then, for each moment, write one sentence starting with: "This is grief."

"This is grief when I reach for the phone." "This is grief when I cook their favorite meal." "This is grief when I laugh and feel guilty right after."

Naming it helps you see it for what it is—love looking for a place to land.

📘 Download your free eBook: clickhereforhope.com 🎥 Get the video series "This Is Grief" – self-guided lessons that walk you through Sharon's full teaching on the definition of grief. 🧠 Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST.

"Loneliness in grief isn't just about missing your person—it's about missing the version of yourself you were when they were alive. Naming that loneliness is how you stop drowning in it."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker takes on one of the hardest truths of grief: loneliness. Even in a crowded room, grief makes you feel like you're on another planet. People may surround you, but no one else can feel the exact pain you're carrying.

Sharon unpacks why grief is so isolating—why people avoid your pain, why you feel like you don't belong anywhere, and why loneliness feeds the heaviness of loss. Most importantly, she shows you how to name it, face it, and take small steps to soften it so it doesn't drown you.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why grief makes you feel lonely, even when you're not alone

• How silence and avoidance from others deepen the isolation

• The difference between missing your person and missing the version of yourself when they were alive

• Why naming loneliness out loud is a powerful first step

• Small ways to create connection when everything feels hollow

Homework for You

Print this out and do it this week:

1. Write down the moments when loneliness hits you the hardest.

• Is it in the morning?

• At night?

• During family gatherings?

1. For each moment, write one small action you could try—not to erase the loneliness, but to soften it.

• Call one safe person.

• Light a candle and say their name.

• Sit with someone who will let you cry without fixing it.

Resources + Next Steps

• Download your free eBook: https://clickhereforhope.com/

• Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST. Sign up at Grief Study Hall

"We should've been given hip-high boots and a damn instruction manual. Instead, we're dropped into grief with nothing but clichés. But here's the truth—you can face the pile, grieve it, and climb out."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker gets brutally honest about what grief really feels like: like stepping straight into a hip-high pile of shit with no warning, no boots, and no map out.

Nobody prepared us for the sleepless nights, the chest-crushing pain, or the brain fog that makes you feel like you're losing your mind. Nobody told us grief would come with silence from friends, family drama, and the pressure to "be strong." Instead, we're left to stumble through the mess with nothing but bad advice and our broken hearts.

This episode is your manual for facing that pile, wading through it, and finding a way out—without pretending it's not there.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why grief feels like drowning in a pile of shit no one warned us about

• The ways society avoids preparing us for loss

• How grief takes over your body and makes simple things feel impossible

• The extra weight of silence, guilt, and bad advice

• The first steps to facing grief instead of resisting it

Homework for You

Print this out and do it this week:

1. Write down your personal version of "the pile."

• Is it the silence from friends?

• The guilt that won't let go?

• The exhaustion that never ends?

• The family drama that made it worse?

1. Circle the one part of the pile that feels heaviest right now. That's where you start. Naming it is the first step to grieving it.

Resources + Next Steps

• Download your free eBook: https://clickhereforhope.com/

• Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST. Sign up at Grief Study Hall.

"The shit is not just the loss itself—it's the lies, the silence, the guilt, and the pressure that come with it. You didn't create it, but you can name it. And once you name it, you can grieve it."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker breaks down what "the shit" actually means. Grief isn't just the pain of missing your person—it's all the lies, the silence, the pressure, and the guilt that come piled on top of the loss.

From the bad advice ("time heals") to the avoidance (people ducking you at the grocery store), Sharon calls it out. This is the part nobody warns you about, the weight that makes grief feel heavier than it already is. And until you name it, you can't begin to move through it.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• The real meaning behind "grieve that shit"

• Why clichés and cultural rules about grief keep you stuck

• How silence and avoidance from others add to the pain

• The difference between grieving your person and grieving the shit around the loss

• Why naming the shit is the first step toward healing

Homework for You

Print this out and work through it:

1. Write your personal list of "the shit" you've been carrying.

o What lies have you been told?

o What guilt do you wrestle with?

o What moments still knock the wind out of you?

2. Say it out loud: "This is my pile of shit." Don't soften it. Don't excuse it. Just name it.

Resources + Next Steps

• Download your free eBook: https://clickhereforhope.com/

• Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST. Sign up at Grief Study Hall