Grieve That Sh!t

Episode Description

"What you thought grief was… it isn't."

In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down the real definition of grief and why so many grievers feel overwhelmed, exhausted, numb, angry, and emotionally out of control after loss.

Because nobody taught us what grief actually is. We were taught how to survive it. Stay strong. Stay busy. Push it down. Keep going. Humans really decided emotional pain should be ignored until it starts leaking out sideways into every relationship. Strange little system.

But grief is not just sadness. It is emotional, mental, physical, and deeply connected to the body. It affects your brain, nervous system, thoughts, emotions, and reactions.

In this episode, Sharon talks about the brain fog, exhaustion, chest tightness, numbness, anger out of nowhere, and the feeling that your whole life split in half after loss.

She also explains why grief itself is not the problem. The problem is resisting it, avoiding it, distracting yourself from it, and pretending it is not there. Because unprocessed grief does not disappear. It waits. It builds. And eventually it starts showing up in every part of your life.

This episode is also a powerful teaching on what it actually means to process grief. Not just talking about it, but learning how to lean into the pain long enough for your body to move through it.

Because your body already knows how to grieve.

It was designed to.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why grief is more than sadness
• What a full-body grief experience looks like
• Why grief causes brain fog, exhaustion, and numbness
• The difference between surviving grief and processing grief
• Why avoiding grief keeps people stuck
• What it actually means to process grief
• How unprocessed grief starts showing up in daily life

Questions to Sit With After Listening

What was I taught grief should look like?

What emotions have I been trying to avoid?

Am I processing my grief… or surviving it?

Where is grief showing up in my body right now?

Homework for You

Write this question at the top of a page:

"What was I taught to do with grief?"

Then answer honestly.

Because most people were never taught how to process grief.

They were taught how to hide it.

Resources + Next Steps

👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com

Because healing starts when you stop resisting the pain and finally understand what grief is actually doing inside of you.

Episode Description

"Your life isn't broken. Your heart is."

In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down why so many grievers stay stuck in pain for years… even while trying everything they can to survive it.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon realized the problem wasn't that grievers were weak.

The problem was that nobody taught us how to grieve.

So we stay busy. We avoid the pain. We push it down. And we keep trying to "get over" something our body is still trying to process.

In this episode, Sharon explains the real work of grief.

Not just talking about it. Not pretending you're okay. But understanding what grief actually is, why your body reacts the way it does, and what it means to truly process pain instead of carrying it forever.

She also talks about "completion", the unfinished conversations, emotions, and words that stay trapped inside the body after loss.

The things you still need to say. The anger. The guilt. The love. The goodbye you never got.

Because undelivered emotions do not disappear.

This conversation is not about "moving on."

It's about finally understanding what grief is trying to do inside you… so you can stop fighting yourself.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why grief feels like a full-body experience
• The difference between surviving grief and processing it
• Why staying busy keeps grief stuck
• What "completion" actually means in grief
• How unfinished emotions stay trapped in the body
• Why avoiding grief makes it louder over time
• How to separate love from pain

Questions to Sit With After Listening

Take your time with these.

• What have I still not said?
• What emotions have I been trying to avoid?
• Am I processing my grief… or just surviving it?
• What pain am I still carrying that was never expressed?

Homework for You

Write this at the top of a page:

"What is still left unsaid?"

Then let yourself answer honestly.

Not the polite version. Not the strong version.

The real one.

Because grief doesn't stay stuck because you loved too much.

It stays stuck when everything inside you goes unspoken.

Resources + Next Steps

If this episode hit you, it's because something inside you is ready to stop surviving and start understanding your grief.

You don't have to carry this alone.

👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Listen to more episodes on Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Learn more at: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

Because healing starts when you stop running from the pain and finally learn how to move through it.

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Episode Description

"You're not broken. You're trying to heal something you don't even understand."

In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down the real reason so many people feel stuck in their grief.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief isn't just about loss. It's about what happens when you're left trying to survive something no one ever taught you how to process.

No one gave you the language. No one gave you the instructions. And now you're trying to figure it out while you're in it.

In this episode, Sharon walks through why grief feels so overwhelming, how misinformation and avoidance keep it stuck, and why staying busy, pushing it down, or trying to "get over it" only makes it louder over time.

She also explains how grief actually works in your body and mind, why the pain keeps coming back, and what it really takes to move through it.

This conversation is not about doing grief perfectly.

It's about understanding it.

Because when you understand your grief, you stop fighting yourself.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why you feel stuck in your grief
• How lack of understanding keeps grief from moving
• Why staying busy and avoiding emotions makes it worse
• How grief shows up in your body, thoughts, and identity
• The difference between surviving and actually healing
• Why grief keeps coming back stronger when it's not processed

Questions to Sit With After Listening

Take your time with these.

• Do I actually understand what grief is… or am I guessing?
• Am I trying to survive this… or actually heal it?
• What have I been doing to avoid feeling my grief?
• Where am I fighting against something I don't understand?

Homework for You

Write this at the top of a page:

"What do I not understand about my grief?"

Then answer honestly.

Not what you've heard. Not what sounds right.

The truth.

Because you cannot move something you don't understand.

Resources + Next Steps

If this episode hit you, it's because something in you is ready to stop guessing and start understanding your grief.

You don't have to stay stuck here.

👉 Learn more: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

Because healing doesn't happen by accident.

It happens when you finally understand what you're going through.

Episode Description

"Your child doesn't need the pain removed. They need you to help them move through it."

In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down one of the biggest mistakes parents make when their child is grieving.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief isn't something you can protect someone from. Especially not your child.

Because your kids already feel everything.

They feel your silence. They feel your sadness. They feel what's not being said.

They just don't have the words for it.

In this episode, Sharon walks through what actually happens when parents try to shield their children from grief, why that instinct makes sense, and how it unintentionally creates confusion, fear, and isolation.

She also explains what children really need, how to talk to them about loss, and why your own grief work is the most powerful tool you have to help them.

This conversation is not about being a perfect parent.

It's about telling the truth.

Because your child is not learning from what you say. They're learning from what you show.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

Why children feel everything, even when they can't express it What happens when you try to protect them from grief Why avoiding the truth creates confusion instead of comfort How children process grief differently from adults Why your own grief work matters more than what you say How to talk to your child about death in a way they can understand

Questions to Sit With After Listening

Take your time with these.

What am I trying to protect my child from? Am I avoiding their grief… or my own? What emotions from my child are hardest for me to sit with? What did I learn about grief growing up… and how is that showing up now?

Homework for You

Write this at the top of a page:

"What am I trying to protect my child from?"

Then answer honestly.

Not the version that sounds like you're doing it right. The real one.

Because clarity is what builds trust. And trust is what makes grief safer.

Resources + Next Steps

If this episode hit you, it's because something in you is ready to stop avoiding and start understanding grief, for you and your child.

You don't have to figure this out alone.

👉 Join the masterclass: https://griefdiscovery.com

Because your child doesn't need perfection.

They need you.

Episode Description

"Grief is already painful. But the way you're trying to survive it might be making it harder."

In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down what most people unknowingly do in the first year of grief that increases their suffering.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just about loss. It is about what happens when you're left trying to survive something no one ever taught you how to process.

The first year is the most confusing. The most painful. And the year you get the worst advice.

Stay strong. Keep busy. Don't think about it.

But these strategies do not heal grief. They delay it.

In this episode, Sharon walks through four common patterns that make grief heavier: avoiding your emotions, pretending you're okay, comparing your timeline to others, and staying busy to escape the pain.

She explains why these responses make sense, why your brain uses them to protect you, and why they end up keeping grief stuck and louder over time.

This conversation is not about doing grief perfectly. It is about becoming aware of what is actually happening.

Because you are not doing it wrong. You were just never taught how to do it at all.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

Why the first year of grief feels the hardest

How avoiding emotions actually increases suffering Why pretending you're okay creates isolation The danger of comparing your grief to others How staying busy keeps grief from being processed Why your reactions make sense (even if they're not helping)

Questions to Sit With After Listening

Take your time with these.

What emotions have I been avoiding since the loss? Where am I pretending I'm okay when I'm not? Have I been comparing my grief to someone else's timeline? When do I actually allow myself to sit with my grief?

Homework for You

Write this at the top of a page:

"What have I been doing to avoid my grief?"

Then answer honestly.

Not the strong answer. Not the version that sounds like you're handling it well.

The real one.

Because awareness is where healing begins.

Resources + Next Steps

If this episode hit you, it's because something in you is ready to stop avoiding and start understanding your grief.

You don't have to figure this out alone.

👉 Get the book: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

👉 Join The Story Room

Because healing doesn't happen when you run from grief

It happens when you finally face it.

Episode Description

"Your brain is not trying to hurt you. It's trying to understand what just changed your entire life."

In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down why your mind keeps replaying the moment your person died.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just emotional. It is a full body and brain experience that records life-altering moments with intense detail.

The phone call. The hospital room. The last words.

These moments stay vivid not because something is wrong with you, but because your brain is trying to make sense of what happened.

In this episode, Sharon explains how trauma and memory work together, why your brain keeps returning to the same moment, and how shock and disbelief keep the story from fully settling.

She also breaks down the connection between thoughts and emotions, why painful memories keep triggering emotional waves, and how speaking your story out loud helps the brain begin organizing the experience.

This conversation is not about stopping the replay instantly. It is about understanding why it is happening.

Because when you understand your grief, you stop being afraid of your own mind.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

Why your brain replays the moment your person died

• How trauma impacts memory and emotional intensity
• Why grief feels like a full body experience
• The connection between thoughts and emotional pain
• Why shock and disbelief keep the memory looping
• How talking about your story helps your brain process it
• Why you are not broken for thinking about it

Questions to Sit With After Listening

Take your time with these.

• What moment does my mind keep going back to?
• What part of that story still feels unfinished or unclear?
• Have I been afraid of my thoughts instead of understanding them?
• Where can I safely begin to talk about this out loud?

Homework for You

Write this at the top of a page:

"This is the moment my life changed."

Then describe it.

What you saw. What you heard. What you felt.

Not to relive it. But to begin organizing it.

Because what your brain keeps replaying is what it is still trying to understand.

Resources + Next Steps

If this episode resonated with you, it is because your mind is trying to process something that has never been fully spoken.

You don't have to do that alone.

👉 Join The Story Room: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

Because healing begins when your story finally has a place to land.

Episode Description

"The part of your grief that hurts the most is often the part you never say out loud."

In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, talks about the stories grievers carry but rarely share.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just about missing someone. It is also about the moments that changed everything—the phone call, the hospital room, the last words, the unanswered questions.

These are the parts most people don't talk about.

Not because they don't want to. But because they don't feel safe to.

In this episode, Sharon explains why grievers stop sharing their stories, how silence builds over time, and what happens when those memories have nowhere to go.

She breaks down how the brain replays painful moments, why these memories stay stuck, and why speaking them out loud is one of the most important parts of processing grief.

She also introduces The Story Room, a space created for grievers to share the full truth of their experience—without judgment, interruption, or being corrected.

This conversation is not about making grief smaller. It is about giving it a place to be heard.

Because healing does not begin when the pain goes away. It begins when the story is finally spoken.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

Why grievers are afraid to share certain parts of their story

• What happens when grief stories are kept inside
• Why painful memories replay over and over again
• How silence increases isolation and emotional weight
• Why telling your grief story helps the brain process it
• The importance of being witnessed in your grief
• How The Story Room creates a safe space for real grief

Questions to Sit With After Listening

Take your time with these.

• What parts of my grief have I never said out loud?
• Am I holding back my story to protect other people's comfort?
• What memories keep replaying in my mind?
• Where do I feel like I have no place to share this?

Homework for You

Write this at the top of a page:

"This is the part of my grief I've never said out loud."

Then write it.

Not the edited version. Not the acceptable version.

The real one.

Because what stays unspoken stays heavy.

Resources + Next Steps

If this episode spoke to you, it is because there is a part of your story that needs to be heard.

You do not have to carry it alone.

👉 Join The Story Room: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

Because your healing begins when your story is finally witnessed.

Episode Description

"Grief doesn't feel confusing because you're broken. It feels confusing because no one ever showed you how to understand it."

In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down one of the biggest gaps in grief support: no one actually helps you understand your grief.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just sadness. It is a full body experience that affects your sleep, your thoughts, your memory, your identity, and your daily life.

And yet, most people are never given the space to look at it.

Instead, they are given comfort. They are given timelines. They are told to keep going.

But what they are not given is understanding.

In this episode, Sharon introduces the purpose behind the Grief Assessment—a structured conversation designed to help you finally look at your grief honestly and begin to make sense of what you are experiencing.

She explains why grief feels so overwhelming, why your mind keeps replaying moments, and why talking through your story is one of the most important parts of processing it.

This conversation is not about fixing you. It is about helping you understand what is happening inside of you.

Because healing does not begin with answers. It begins with understanding.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

Why most grievers never get a real understanding of their grief

• How grief affects your body, mind, and daily functioning
• Why your brain keeps replaying painful moments
• The role of telling your grief story in healing
• What the Grief Assessment actually is and how it works
• How patterns like avoidance, guilt, and isolation show up
• Why confusion decreases when you begin to understand your grief

Questions to Sit With After Listening

Take your time with these.

• Have I ever truly been asked about my grief?
• What parts of my story have I not fully spoken out loud?
• Where is my grief showing up in my body and daily life?
• What patterns am I noticing in how I handle my grief?

Homework for You

Write this at the top of a page:

"How is my grief actually showing up in my life?"

Then answer honestly.

Not the short version. Not the version you tell others.

The real one.

Because understanding your grief is the first step to moving it.

Resources + Next Steps

If this episode resonated with you, it is because something in you is ready to understand your grief on a deeper level.

You don't need to keep guessing. You don't need to figure this out alone.

👉 Take the Grief Assessment: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

Because your healing starts when your grief finally makes sense.

*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-69b4436f-8e58-8321-a0e7-71e602bf0813-0" data-testid= "conversation-turn-34" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant">

Episode Description "You're not stuck because you still love them. You're stuck because of the attachment."

In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with a narc recovery coach and author of Toxic Charm to break down one of the most confusing and painful relationship dynamics people experience.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just about death. It shows up anywhere attachment is broken. And when narcissistic patterns are involved, that attachment becomes even more intense, unstable, and hard to walk away from.

Together, they unpack what narcissism actually looks like in real life, why it feels like love one moment and disappears the next, and why so many people stay stuck trying to figure the other person out instead of coming back to themselves.

They explore how these relationships create emotional highs and lows, how patterns repeat, and why clarity—not more guessing—is what begins to shift everything.

This conversation is not about labeling people. It is about understanding patterns.

Because sometimes the hardest truth is this: You can love someone… and still be stuck in something that is hurting you.

What You'll Learn in This Episode What narcissism actually is in plain language

• Why these relationships feel intense, addictive, and confusing
• The difference between selfish behavior and narcissistic patterns
• Why you do not need a diagnosis to begin your healing
• How attachment and grief keep you tied to the relationship
• Why "just leave" is not as simple as it sounds
• How to start rebuilding self-trust after losing yourself
• Why patterns matter more than labels

Questions to Sit With After Listening Take your time with these.

• Am I holding on to who they are… or who I hoped they could be?
• What patterns have I been ignoring or explaining away?
• Have I been trying to understand them more than I understand myself?
• What would it look like to choose clarity over confusion?

Homework for You Write this at the top of a page:

"What patterns did I experience that I kept trying to explain away?"

Then answer honestly.

Not the version that protects them. Not the version that minimizes what happened.

The real one.

Because you cannot break a cycle you are still trying to justify.

Resources + Next Steps

If this episode resonated with you, it is because something in you is ready for clarity.

You do not need to keep guessing. You do not need to keep decoding. You do not need to keep losing yourself trying to make it make sense.

👉 Find more resources and support at: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

Episode Description "Grief does not get louder because you are weak. It gets louder because it has nowhere to land."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, talks about something most grievers never receive after loss: a true witness to their grief story.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just sadness. It is the mind and body trying to process something life changing that the world around you quickly moves on from. While everyone else returns to their normal life, the griever often finds themselves living in what Sharon calls the alternate universe of grief.

And when there is no safe place to speak the story out loud, the grief does not disappear. It loops. It replays. It grows louder inside the nervous system.

In this episode, Sharon explains why the brain keeps replaying painful memories after loss, how unspoken grief stays trapped in the body, and why having a witness is one of the most powerful parts of healing.

She also introduces The Story Room, a space created for women to share their grief story out loud in a room of people who understand, listen without judgment, and hold space for the truth of what loss actually feels like.

This conversation is not about fixing grief. It is about finally giving it a place to land.

Because grief does not need to be corrected. It needs to be witnessed.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why every griever has a grief story that needs to be told
• What happens when grief has no witness
• Why the brain keeps replaying painful memories after loss
• How silence can keep grief stuck in the nervous system
• Why speaking your grief story out loud can begin to shift the pain
• What makes the Story Room different from typical grief support spaces
• How witnessing someone else's grief can help you process your own

Questions to Sit With After Listening You do not need to rush these. Let them sit with you.

• When did my grief story actually begin?
• Have I had a place where my grief could be spoken without correction or comparison?
• What parts of my story have I been editing or keeping quiet?
• What is my grief still trying to say?

Homework for You Write this at the top of a page:

"This is the part of my grief story I have never said out loud."

Then start writing.

Not the version you tell people. Not the shortened version. Not the strong version.

The real one.

Because sometimes the first step in healing grief is simply letting the story be heard.

Resources + Next Steps

If this episode spoke to you, the place Sharon created for this work is called The Story Room.

It is a guided grief space where women can share their story, be witnessed, and begin processing grief in a room that understands.

The Story Room meets the every Thursday.

👉 Learn more and join here: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool