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Why She’s Exhausted — And You’re Taking It Personally
“She has energy for everything else — just not for me.”
This episode unpacks one of the most common and damaging misunderstandings I see in relationships, especially when ADHD and autism are part of the picture.
We’re talking about why energy isn’t about effort, love, or priority, it’s about access, executive function load, and nervous system cost. And why, in heterosexual relationships, women are so often carrying the emotional and executive labor of the relationship until there’s nothing left.
This isn’t about blaming partners or making blanket statements. It’s about understanding how unexamined expectations, gendered roles, and neurodivergent burnout quietly erode connection and why personalizing that burnout keeps couples stuck.
You won’t leave with neat answers.
You will leave more informed, more curious, and better equipped to stop turning nervous system limits into personal rejections.
Disclaimer:
This episode is education, not therapy. I’m sharing clinical observations and recurring patterns, not diagnosing, treating, or solving anyone’s relationship in 18 minutes. The point here isn’t to walk away with neat answers, but to walk away better informed, less stuck in the wrong stories, and asking different questions about what’s happening.
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By Dr. Leann Borneman“She has energy for everything else — just not for me.”
This episode unpacks one of the most common and damaging misunderstandings I see in relationships, especially when ADHD and autism are part of the picture.
We’re talking about why energy isn’t about effort, love, or priority, it’s about access, executive function load, and nervous system cost. And why, in heterosexual relationships, women are so often carrying the emotional and executive labor of the relationship until there’s nothing left.
This isn’t about blaming partners or making blanket statements. It’s about understanding how unexamined expectations, gendered roles, and neurodivergent burnout quietly erode connection and why personalizing that burnout keeps couples stuck.
You won’t leave with neat answers.
You will leave more informed, more curious, and better equipped to stop turning nervous system limits into personal rejections.
Disclaimer:
This episode is education, not therapy. I’m sharing clinical observations and recurring patterns, not diagnosing, treating, or solving anyone’s relationship in 18 minutes. The point here isn’t to walk away with neat answers, but to walk away better informed, less stuck in the wrong stories, and asking different questions about what’s happening.