Join the Stepmum reset workshop. 

Ever felt anxious when the stepkids are due to arrive… even though they’re lovely and your partner’s supportive?
This episode is for the stepmum who’s thinking, “Why does this feel so hard when nothing is technically wrong?”

You can have great stepkids. A supportive partner. A stepfamily set-up that looks “fine” from the outside. And still feel your stomach drop on transition days. Still feel like your home isn’t fully yours. Still feel guilty for wanting space.

In this episode, I’m joined by Avril — a stepmum I worked with a few years ago, who’s now on the other side of those early-stage blended family challenges. We talk honestly about what it was like at the start: the anxiety that didn’t make sense on paper, the sense of being an outsider in your own home, and the quiet pressure stepmums carry to over-function, over-deliver, and stay “nice” no matter what.

Avril shares the simple conversation that changed everything for her — asking her partner what he actually wanted her role to be, and deciding what she was and wasn’t available for. We unpack why stepfamily dynamics can create role confusion, guilt, and burnout… and why you’re not “too sensitive” for feeling it.

If you’re navigating stepmum struggles and wondering why you feel so emotionally stretched, this is your reminder: if it affects you, it’s real — and it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re in a complex system, doing a hard role, often with very little support.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why you can feel anxious and unsettled in a stepfamily even when the stepkids are “easy”
• The stepmother role clarity question that can drop anxiety almost instantly
• How to set boundaries without feeling like the wicked stepmum
• Why wanting space in a blended family home is self-regulation, not rejection
• What actually helps with outsider feelings on transition days
• How to stop over-delivering and burning out as a stepmum
• Why guilt about your feelings is often the real problem

This episode is for you if you’re a stepmum who…

• feels nervous or edgy before the kids arrive, even when you like them
• feels like your home isn’t fully yours in your blended family
• worries you’re “too sensitive” or “ungrateful” because things look OK on paper
• over-functions to prove you’re a good stepmum, then feels resentful and exhausted
• wants clearer stepfamily boundaries and a calmer sense of where you stand
• feels stuck in role confusion and doesn’t know what you’re “allowed” to say no to

If this episode gave you words for something you’ve been carrying quietly, follow or subscribe so you don’t miss next week. And if you know a stepmum who needs to hear “you’re not the problem”, share this with her.

For more support with stepfamily dynamics, role clarity, and the emotional reality of the stepmother role, you can explore Stepmum Space at stepmumspace.com — or get in touch anytime at [email protected]

Support the show