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Hi Friends,

Last Friday, November 11th, was the one-year anniversary of the launch of Bigger Love, and I want to thank you for being here, whether you arrived on day one or just subscribed today.

I had hoped to send something out on the actual anniversary, but, as has happened often lately, the writing wasn’t flowing and I didn’t want to force it. Couldn’t force it is probably more accurate.

I’ve been struggling lately. Feeling ungrounded, destabilized, lost, lonely. I’ve been waking up with a certain sense of dread moving into the day. Not oppressive but present. Heavy enough. I’ve gotten really good, much of the time, at playing witness to my mind when it’s cycling through its self-abusive and hopeless thinking. I watch it, remind myself I am neither my mind nor my thoughts, and tend to feel less burdened by my mind’s insanity than I ever have. I’m likely to say, as nonchalantly as possible, Oh, there’s my mind being insane again. Interesting. Bearing witness to the mind — remembering I am the sky and not the weather — helps a lot. Unless it doesn’t. Like lately.

I don’t go to war with my mind, or any aspect of myself, like I used to. There’s no point. The mind doesn’t know surrender, and war only creates more war, internally as well as externally. Where I used to go to war, I go to love. Where I used to shame myself, I love myself. Not always but most of the time. Love is our greatest healer, and I’ve learned it’s within my power to offer all aspects of myself love, and that when I do, the only possibility is to move myself toward greater healing.

I realized yesterday, while recording an episode of our podcast Hey Jacob, Hi Scott, with my dear friend Jacob Nordby, that though I’ve been playing witness to my mind and doing my best to love the aspects of myself my mind compels me to shame, I haven’t been directing any of that love to my mind itself.

I wrote this recently:

I am going to be more intentional about loving my mind. Not just witnessing it, but really loving it. Even when it’s doing its best to tear me down, to keep me locked in fear, to lie to me about my worth. The reality of being human includes having an insane human mind. No one gets to escape this truth, but we do get to work with it. Imagine being able to challenge your mind, refute its lies, brush aside its crippling self-doubts, and all from a place of love. Unlike an abusive relationship with another human, we don’t have the option to walk away from the mind, so we may as well figure out a more peaceful way to exist with it. For me, that comes back to awareness and action. The moment I’m aware I’m going to war with my mind is the moment I can act with acceptance and love, if I choose to. And, the moment I’m aware I’m believing the self-abusive lies of my mind is the moment I can challenge them and offer myself more acceptance and love.

Love is always a possibility, and it’s always a healer. Always a possibility and always a healer. Just remembering this, and asking myself again and again (even and especially where my mind is concerned), what is love inviting me to do right now?, usually helps to create a bit more peace and acceptance in my being. Not always, but often enough to keep me asking that question.

Right now, love is inviting me to love my mind as it is, no matter what, without exception. And that’s what I intend to do. What about you? What is love inviting you to do right now?

It’s wild that Bigger Love is a year old. In the About section of this newsletter, I wrote the following:

When I was considering the mission of this newsletter, I looked back on what I wrote in the introduction to my book, Big Love, and it holds true for this space, too. (I’ve replaced the word book with newsletter.)

I’d like Bigger Love to remind you that you are not alone, not by a long shot. We are all imperfect; we all have busy, fearful minds; and we all struggle. Every single one of us, every single day. I’d like the newsletter to emphasize that you are as worthy of love as anyone who has ever lived, and that nothing you do could ever make you any less worthy. Or more worthy, for that matter. I’d like it to encourage you to take responsibility for every aspect of your life, knowing that by empowering yourself this way, you set yourself up for deeper peace and greater joy. I’d like it to open you up to perspectives you may not have considered, or reinforce ones you may have forgotten, all of which will lead to a more open and honest relationship with yourself and others. Most important, I’d like this newsletter to inspire you to consider love as the guiding force in your life, regardless of circumstance. Nothing stands to transform us, our relationships, and our world, more than a commitment to live our lives from love. The bigger the better.

There’s one thing I want to add: I’d like this newsletter to be a community space for open-hearted souls who want to co-create a more compassionate, just and loving world. Wait, one last thing! I’d like it to be a space for joy, and laughter, and fun. Lots of joy and laughter and fun.

So what do you think? Is Bigger Love fulfilling this mission? Is there something you’d like to see more of, or less of, here? Subjects you’d like me to address? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

When I launched this newsletter I considered keeping some content behind a paywall in order to entice readers to subscribe with a paid subscription. I decided against that, because I prefer to make everything I share here available to everyone for free. At the same time, this is one aspect of the work I do in the world, and I would love for this newsletter to become something that covers the bills. It’s quite far from being that right now, and that’s okay.

If you do you feel like you benefit from my work here, and you have the means, I would love to invite you to consider becoming a paid subscriber to Bigger Love. A subscription is either $7/month or $70 a year, and it is a beautiful way to show you value my work. Thank you.

However you are choosing to be here, please know I appreciate your presence so much and am excited to see how this newsletter, and community, continues to grow in year two.

Big Big Love to you all!Scott

Breathwork Offerings this Week:

TONIGHT, Wednesday the 16th: Online Breath & Belonging, 5pm PST / 8pm EST. This will be the last Breath & Belonging until mid-December. REGISTER HERE.

Sunday, November 20th: Breath Your Way Home, 10am PST / 1pm EST / 6pm GMT. I’ll be joining Jacob’s Heal + Create community to guide a free breathwork journey. Must RSVP HERE to attend.

On this week’s episode of Hey Jacob, Hi Scott, I talk in much more depth about the struggles I’ve been having, and Jacob and I discuss how to navigate the funk. You can listen wherever you listen to podcasts.

Get full access to Bigger Love with Scott Stabile at scottstabile.substack.com/subscribe