Soultime Dr. Katja Makowka

Why We Can’t Change People- and Why We Try Anyway


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How often do we find ourselves wishing someone would change? Maybe it’s a friend who keeps making the same mistakes, a partner with habits that frustrate us, or a family member stuck in patterns that seem to hold them back. We see their potential, we want the best for them, and sometimes, we convince ourselves that if we just say the right thing, offer the right advice, or push hard enough, they will finally see what we see.

It comes from a place of care, of wanting to help. But here’s the hard truth: we can’t change people. No matter how much we love them, guide them, or want better for them, real change has to come from within. And yet, we keep trying- sometimes out of love, sometimes out of frustration, and sometimes because their choices make us uncomfortable.

Today, we are diving into why we feel the need to change others, why it rarely works, and how we can shift from control to true support. Because when we let go of the pressure to fix or change people, we not only free them- we free ourselves.


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For more ideas to raise your confidence and energy listen to the following episodes:


Episode 100: The power of love and gratitude - a state of being

Episode 105: Fail Forward: How Embracing Failure Can Propel Your Personal Growth

Episode 108: Juggling Priorities in a Busy World

Episode 124: Embrace Growth: Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Episode 127: Judgment Detox: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

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Soultime Dr. Katja MakowkaBy Dr. Katja Makowka