There are few mysteries in modern life as baffling—and as strangely comforting—as our urge to over-explain simple things. You ask someone for the time, and instead of “It’s 3:15,” you receive a detailed oral history of clocks, daylight saving adjustments, the emotional state of their wristwatch, and a disclaimer that time is, technically, a social construct. You didn’t ask for a TED Talk. You asked whether you’re late.